InfjAceGirl Posted March 6, 2021 Author Share Posted March 6, 2021 On 3/1/2021 at 11:16 PM, WarRocketAjax said: We're out there. It's definitely harder to meet people especially because of the virus but I have hope I'll find someone. Hii! I hope we can all find each other haha Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted March 6, 2021 Author Share Posted March 6, 2021 On 3/3/2021 at 10:42 AM, WinterAlf said: We exist! 🎉🎉 Ahh I'm so happy! You guys are awesome🥰 Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted March 6, 2021 Author Share Posted March 6, 2021 On 3/4/2021 at 12:15 AM, TheListener said: Figured I might as well make an appearance! 😁 Yeees! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Raire Posted March 9, 2021 Share Posted March 9, 2021 Good luck @Claudia12 in finding your forever someone! 39y/o male aceface here, to compliment all of the others that have already posted and wished you well. Link to post Share on other sites
Cyberspace2001 Posted March 10, 2021 Share Posted March 10, 2021 Oh we out here alright. As a 19 year old ace, it's hard to find anyone in my age group who is asexual. Let alone anyone who is ace. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one I know that exists in my part of town. Doesn't help that I'm Hispanic too (A culture where nearly EVERYTHING is about sex). But yeah, we exist and we're pretty cool, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted March 10, 2021 Author Share Posted March 10, 2021 16 hours ago, Raire said: Good luck @Claudia12 in finding your forever someone! 39y/o male aceface here, to compliment all of the others that have already posted and wished you well. Thank you a lot!!❤ Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted March 10, 2021 Author Share Posted March 10, 2021 9 hours ago, Cyberspace2001 said: Oh we out here alright. As a 19 year old ace, it's hard to find anyone in my age group who is asexual. Let alone anyone who is ace. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one I know that exists in my part of town. Doesn't help that I'm Hispanic too (A culture where nearly EVERYTHING is about sex). But yeah, we exist and we're pretty cool, lol. Thanks for sharing! You are super cool! And I'm sure you'll find someone too❤ Link to post Share on other sites
InvisibleSquid Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 Yep, ace dudes certainly do exist. I personally don't know any others, but as you can see from the replies here, we're out there. And enjoying all the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyzer373 Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 Well i am a heteroromantic ace man, I’m over 30 now and I have the feeling that I will never meet a female who’s cool with no sex. What also doesn’t help me is I am very introverted. I’ve kinda accepted I’ll always be alone but it does make me sad so I try not think about it much 😆 Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 This put a smile on my face to read! My relationship last year has largely left my convinced that I’m completely incompatible with allo girls in regards to relationships, and I am a heteromantic asexual male. The thought of not being able to find someone to be with romantically frightens me. Link to post Share on other sites
Snek Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 On 1/22/2021 at 7:44 PM, Claudia12 said: Hey. I'm a 20 year old girl and I was never in a relathionship. As a heteroromantic ace I'm scared it will be hard to find somebody. So could all the boys/men who see this and are ace or don't care about sex write something to give me some hope pls. I relate to this a lot even though I'm a guy. So we sure exist and speaking from experience, I'd say some us have the same worries. So there definitely is hope! I would also like to throw out the advice that there's really no use putting romantic relationships on a huge pedestal. Having a good support system means you'll need more than just a romantic partner. And on top of that good relationships come in a lot of forms so don't worry too much about romantic relationships. I get you want one, but give it time. Don't make the mistake of being so obsessed with romantic relationships that you neglect friends and family (or other relationships in general). Best of luck to you, I wish you the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty_Ace Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 They're out there! But also, just to mention, my husband is allo and I'm perfectly content with him. He is respectful and loves me, not the sex aspect of our relationship. Even if you can't find an ace partner, don't disqualify other 'sexual' options as there are amazing and accepting people out there who could care less and love you because you're you. ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 1, 2021 Author Share Posted April 1, 2021 On 3/23/2021 at 2:22 PM, Snek said: I relate to this a lot even though I'm a guy. So we sure exist and speaking from experience, I'd say some us have the same worries. So there definitely is hope! I would also like to throw out the advice that there's really no use putting romantic relationships on a huge pedestal. Having a good support system means you'll need more than just a romantic partner. And on top of that good relationships come in a lot of forms so don't worry too much about romantic relationships. I get you want one, but give it time. Don't make the mistake of being so obsessed with romantic relationships that you neglect friends and family (or other relationships in general). Best of luck to you, I wish you the best! Thank you for your answer! Good to know there's more of people like me🙈 I would never neglect other people! I want a romantic relathionship but I don't think it's more important than friendships Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 1, 2021 Author Share Posted April 1, 2021 On 3/29/2021 at 6:31 PM, Kitty_Ace said: They're out there! But also, just to mention, my husband is allo and I'm perfectly content with him. He is respectful and loves me, not the sex aspect of our relationship. Even if you can't find an ace partner, don't disqualify other 'sexual' options as there are amazing and accepting people out there who could care less and love you because you're you. ❤️ That's very nice! I know there's awesome people I just don't want to be with someone who wants really wants to do "it" and I like take that from them because I don't want it Link to post Share on other sites
Mike D Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 On 1/22/2021 at 1:44 PM, Claudia12 said: Hey. I'm a 20 year old girl and I was never in a relathionship. As a heteroromantic ace I'm scared it will be hard to find somebody. So could all the boys/men who see this and are ace or don't care about sex write something to give me some hope pls. We definitely exist. It can be a bit of a struggle because we also get a lot of pressure from sexual people to "get over it," to "be normal," etc. That pressure is especially intense on high school and college-aged guys, to the point that a lot of them have a really hard time coming to terms with their sexuality. They not only get pressure from their buddies to try to date women, they also get pressure from the women they date, as well as women they meet who are interested in them. I'm sorry if you're lonely and feeling isolated right now. Take heart, though, because as you get older your dating pool is liable to actually get bigger, since more and more of those young ace guys are going to come to terms with who they really are. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Charna Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 I think it is just more difficult to date openly as an ace, because it is still to a large extend an invisible minority. But I also think that things are getting better. I spend a large part of my life considering myself hetero, simply because there was no information about asexuality available to me. But now there is so much information about asexuality available online, the invisibility is slowly going away. I see young people talking openly online about being ace etc. And it makes me very happy, because it means that for your generation it will be easier to find & date someone, without trying to compromise on your sexual orientation. And modern technology (sounding like an old person here) can be a great help especially to minorities. You can find your own "flock" that way, even if in real life you might be the only ace in a 100 km radius. 😉 Link to post Share on other sites
UsiresAedon Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 I would describe myself as an "ace." I will be the first to admit that I don't know of any other guys quite like me in person, though. This makes me feel very socially isolated. While I have many allo male friends that are supportive and understanding, I would absolutely love to sit down with another gray-A guy over a cup of tea and compare notes. It's one major reason I am here in the first place. With all of that being said, I would argue that there are a lot more of us than one would suspect. There are a lot of stigmas associated with asexual/graysexual men. We're expected by society to sweep a girl up off of her feet, take her back to our cave, and, well. you know the rest. We have been indoctrinated at an early age to believe that there is something wrong with guys that fail to embrace this toxic masculinity. Luckily, attitudes are changing, but it takes years (and even decades) for the general population to adapt to change. Long story short, don't be fooled by what you see in movies and read in books. We are out there. Many of us are just "closeted." I am truly sorry you are going through the feelings of loneliness and isolation. I am recently divorced, and I am experiencing many of the same feelings you are. Just know that there are many people (myself included) that you can reach out to for support. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 4, 2021 Share Posted April 4, 2021 11 hours ago, Charna said: And modern technology (sounding like an old person here) can be a great help especially to minorities. You can find your own "flock" that way, even if in real life you might be the only ace in a 100 km radius. 😉 Better add at least one more zero for me, heh. Link to post Share on other sites
rrahibe Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 Thats the what I've been looking for in a bf anymore.. because im asexual and im so sick and tried acting like allosexual just becasue im liking somebody and i dont wanna tell them that im asexual and by the way asexual males is like a secret I haven't met any of them Link to post Share on other sites
UsiresAedon Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 15 minutes ago, rrahibe said: Thats the what I've been looking for in a bf anymore.. because im asexual and im so sick and tried acting like allosexual just becasue im liking somebody and i dont wanna tell them that im asexual and by the way asexual males is like a secret I haven't met any of them As an asexual male that has felt the need to masquerade as an allo, I can relate to this so much. People are so quick to tell you "you need to change," but after trying to change myself for years with no results, I tend to reject that "wisdom" these days. I shouldn't have to change a thing about my sexuality (even if I could change it) in order to please my partner. I just want you to know that you deserve someone that accepts you for who you are, and don't ever settle for anything less. Link to post Share on other sites
rrahibe Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 10 hours ago, UsiresAedon said: As an asexual male that has felt the need to masquerade as an allo, I can relate to this so much. People are so quick to tell you "you need to change," but after trying to change myself for years with no results, I tend to reject that "wisdom" these days. I shouldn't have to change a thing about my sexuality (even if I could change it) in order to please my partner. I just want you to know that you deserve someone that accepts you for who you are, and don't ever settle for anything less. exactly. we all deserve better than this. i hope we can find what we want one day Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Lancelop Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Somebody call me? 🙋♂️ Look, I’m not gonna sugar-coat it... It’ll be challenging to find someone, even more so as you age, but never give up hope. We’re out there ❤️ Best of luck, friend Link to post Share on other sites
jkmlynch Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 1/22/2021 at 12:44 PM, Claudia12 said: So could all the boys/men who see this and are ace or don't care about sex write something Raises hand. Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 14, 2021 Author Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 4/2/2021 at 9:20 PM, Mike D said: We definitely exist. It can be a bit of a struggle because we also get a lot of pressure from sexual people to "get over it," to "be normal," etc. That pressure is especially intense on high school and college-aged guys, to the point that a lot of them have a really hard time coming to terms with their sexuality. They not only get pressure from their buddies to try to date women, they also get pressure from the women they date, as well as women they meet who are interested in them. I'm sorry if you're lonely and feeling isolated right now. Take heart, though, because as you get older your dating pool is liable to actually get bigger, since more and more of those young ace guys are going to come to terms with who they really are. Best of luck to you! Hi! I'm responding a bit late..It's sad that you guys have to go through that and all other toxic masculinity problems Thank you for answering and wishing me luck🥰 Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 14, 2021 Author Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 4/4/2021 at 7:09 PM, UsiresAedon said: I would describe myself as an "ace." I will be the first to admit that I don't know of any other guys quite like me in person, though. This makes me feel very socially isolated. While I have many allo male friends that are supportive and understanding, I would absolutely love to sit down with another gray-A guy over a cup of tea and compare notes. It's one major reason I am here in the first place. With all of that being said, I would argue that there are a lot more of us than one would suspect. There are a lot of stigmas associated with asexual/graysexual men. We're expected by society to sweep a girl up off of her feet, take her back to our cave, and, well. you know the rest. We have been indoctrinated at an early age to believe that there is something wrong with guys that fail to embrace this toxic masculinity. Luckily, attitudes are changing, but it takes years (and even decades) for the general population to adapt to change. Long story short, don't be fooled by what you see in movies and read in books. We are out there. Many of us are just "closeted." I am truly sorry you are going through the feelings of loneliness and isolation. I am recently divorced, and I am experiencing many of the same feelings you are. Just know that there are many people (myself included) that you can reach out to for support. It sucks that's it's hard finding people who relate and understand. All humans need that feeling of being understood on a deeper level. Also toxic masculinty is hella annoying! It's not fair to you guys! I really hope changes will come! Thank you for sharing your story! I'm sorry you're going through a hard time now. I'm sending you love and positivity ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 14, 2021 Author Share Posted April 14, 2021 15 hours ago, Sir Lancelop said: Somebody call me? 🙋♂️ Look, I’m not gonna sugar-coat it... It’ll be challenging to find someone, even more so as you age, but never give up hope. We’re out there ❤️ Best of luck, friend Aww, thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 14, 2021 Author Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 3/16/2021 at 1:35 AM, InvisibleSquid said: Yep, ace dudes certainly do exist. I personally don't know any others, but as you can see from the replies here, we're out there. And enjoying all the cake. 😂❤ Link to post Share on other sites
InfjAceGirl Posted April 14, 2021 Author Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 3/23/2021 at 4:52 AM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said: This put a smile on my face to read! My relationship last year has largely left my convinced that I’m completely incompatible with allo girls in regards to relationships, and I am a heteromantic asexual male. The thought of not being able to find someone to be with romantically frightens me. We really relate! Thanfully Aven is a proof that there's more aces than we thought Link to post Share on other sites
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