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Is this grey-sexuality?


ShyGuy25

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I’m a 25 year old man and until recently I’ve considered myself asexual. I’d never experienced romantic/sexual/aesthetic attraction to anyone. I assumed this would always be the case. But a few months ago I met a guy. The second he walked in the room I felt attracted to him in every possible way and for the first time in my life entertained romantic and sexual thoughts. We started talking, started dating and we have a very happy romantic and sexual relationship. 

 

From what I’ve read Grey sexuality is infrequent sexual desire. I’m not entirely sure this fits here. Because now I’m with him I’m up for it all the time. But only when it comes to him. I’m not interested by anyone else. It’s why I don’t consider myself gay. Because I’m not a man who likes men I’m a man who likes one man and only him. I don’t think I’m demisexual either because I was attracted to him the second I saw him.
 

This isn’t really an issue. Like I said we are happy I’m just at a loss as how to describe it to other people. Having a term like grey sexual or something  would help. Maybe I’m asexual and he’s just my kryptonite. 
 

Any thoughts would be welcome, thanks.

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Hi.
I think this is just the case of meeting the right person :P

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Grey-sexual could fit. I mean technically if you haven't felt sexual attraction before, and then you do...it's a very infrequent feeling of sexual attraction, and now it happens to be with him. So I mean, yeah. Whatever feels right to you. : ) 

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1 hour ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Hi.
I think this is just the case of meeting the right person :P

I find this ironic because a lot of the first assumptions about asexuality is “you haven’t met the right person” and that saying you met the right person to me, feels like it invalidates asexuality because the assumption was correct. It might be right, or case by case, but using those words to me seems kind of... not correct. 

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14 minutes ago, Acerna said:

I find this ironic because a lot of the first assumptions about asexuality is “you haven’t met the right person” and that saying you met the right person to me, feels like it invalidates asexuality because the assumption was correct. It might be right, or case by case, but using those words to me seems kind of... not correct. 

I almost wanted to add that it's not what someone asexual wants to hear. But I do think in some cases it really is like. It might be something that's said to invalidate someone asexual, but there's truth to it too in many cases. (asexuals are a minority, afterall)

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Janus the Fox

Moved to The Grey Area, Sex and Related Discussions

 

Janus DarkFox

Weekends Asexual Relationships, Current Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator

 

The context is important in ‘meeting the right person’ as it is strongly tied to erasure, even though ‘meeting the right person’ many aces can see ‘meeting another asexual’ finding the right person without sexual attractions or desires.

 

We do have to be careful with the context.  AVEN has histories of threads with Ace or Grey Questions or Musings that along with Relationships Forums provide examples if one desires to read back several tens or hundreds of pages. :cake:

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It could be Grey-

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Whatever it is you have, it sounds really lovely and I'm happy for both of you. 💜

 

Greysexual sounds like it'd probably be the closest descriptor, though not many people outside the asexual community are familiar with the term.

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On 1/16/2021 at 12:17 PM, ShyGuy25 said:

I’m a 25 year old man and until recently I’ve considered myself asexual. I’d never experienced romantic/sexual/aesthetic attraction to anyone. I assumed this would always be the case. But a few months ago I met a guy. The second he walked in the room I felt attracted to him in every possible way and for the first time in my life entertained romantic and sexual thoughts. We started talking, started dating and we have a very happy romantic and sexual relationship. 

 

From what I’ve read Grey sexuality is infrequent sexual desire. I’m not entirely sure this fits here. Because now I’m with him I’m up for it all the time. But only when it comes to him. I’m not interested by anyone else. It’s why I don’t consider myself gay. Because I’m not a man who likes men I’m a man who likes one man and only him. I don’t think I’m demisexual either because I was attracted to him the second I saw him.
 

This isn’t really an issue. Like I said we are happy I’m just at a loss as how to describe it to other people. Having a term like grey sexual or something  would help. Maybe I’m asexual and he’s just my kryptonite. 
 

Any thoughts would be welcome, thanks.

Hi @ShyGuy25

I identify as a greysexual lesbian.  I only started having feelings of sexual attraction in my mid-20's too after never having any feelings at all.  It only happens towards women and very occasionally which is why I identify as grey.  I thought I might be demi for a while too but I realised that my feelings come on instantly, like you.   

 

I think some peoples sexuality can be fluid and change so maybe you were asexual but are now allosexual, who knows, but thats so great you have met someone!  You might find as you get older that you meet other people who attract you sexually too.

 

Greysexuality is very hard to define and for me it changes a lot so if you feel it describes you for the moment, use it. 

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