kc.conditt Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 So uh, this is a bit weird for me to talk about. (I just haven't really shared this before with anyone because most people I know are either homophobic or don't understand my sexuality) I'm asexual. Obviously, that's why I'm here, and yet, I don't want to be a virgin. I don't know why I feel this way, I'm not yearning or begging for someone to rail me, I just don't want to be a virgin. I have no idea why I feel this way or if it's just because society has labeled being a virgin a bad thing (even though it's not) Part of me thinks that it's just the label weighing on my shoulders and because it's high school we're all sort of "expected" to lose our virginity at some point during high school. I guess my question is: does anyone else have/ has had this feeling before? I feel really awkward and I'm afraid if I were to tell anyone else who didn't identify as ace that I would be told I'm not ace and I just haven't found the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
PepperoniKebab Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 Hi from another high school student 👋 I don't know much about asexuality or other sexual orientations but I can say that social pressure really affects our decisions, that sucks but after all we are touchy beings who like to judge others. Link to post Share on other sites
vinan Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 Yes, for years I have experienced my virginity as a shame. I am also sex favorable, so not wanting sex while being attracted to it seemed like a curse. I couldn't understand what I was. I'm fine now, virginity doesn't exist, and if I happened to have sex it wouldn't change anything. I'm 39. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 There are many members here who felt the same shame/ridicule/awkwardness/etc of being a virgin. Some took the steps to no longer being one, some are virgins and are ok with that fact. The real question is what do you expect to happen if/when you're no longer one yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗶t Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 better cake plz or book fantic rp with friends that's my point for me 😎 im another high schooler calif southerner i don't like touch by someone my upper body for reason, i hug my friends i'm very comfy for them and I. if want change my opinion that not yours, that my point view. Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 I lost my virginity because everyone pressured me, I also craved respect from the sperm donor (that never happened), I tried it, my personal experience, I was useless, it lasted seconds and I hated it, I tried it again with another person, nothing changed, still lasted seconds, I didn't find any joy or satisfaction, it wasn't pleasurable, it didn't feel natural, I really didn't enjoy the experience, I don't have anything against those who have and enjoy sex, but I would never do it again and I think I would have been just as happy if I'd remained a virgin, not an experience id write home about Link to post Share on other sites
kc.conditt Posted January 16, 2021 Author Share Posted January 16, 2021 6 hours ago, Comrade Jade Cross said: There are many members here who felt the same shame/ridicule/awkwardness/etc of being a virgin. Some took the steps to no longer being one, some are virgins and are ok with that fact. The real question is what do you expect to happen if/when you're no longer one yourself? I honestly don't know. When I think about no longer being a virgin, I feel lighter in a sense? Like the weight of a "negative" (even though it's not) label is gone. I still want the moment to experience it, but i guess that's just my version of taking steps to no longer be a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
Sherlocks Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 On 1/15/2021 at 9:55 AM, kc.conditt said: So uh, this is a bit weird for me to talk about. (I just haven't really shared this before with anyone because most people I know are either homophobic or don't understand my sexuality) I'm asexual. Obviously, that's why I'm here, and yet, I don't want to be a virgin. I don't know why I feel this way, I'm not yearning or begging for someone to rail me, I just don't want to be a virgin. I have no idea why I feel this way or if it's just because society has labeled being a virgin a bad thing (even though it's not) Part of me thinks that it's just the label weighing on my shoulders and because it's high school we're all sort of "expected" to lose our virginity at some point during high school. I guess my question is: does anyone else have/ has had this feeling before? I feel really awkward and I'm afraid if I were to tell anyone else who didn't identify as ace that I would be told I'm not ace and I just haven't found the right person. Its not all its cracked up to be. Being a Virgin is fine and you are not going to be any better becuase ya lost it. Link to post Share on other sites
Germ Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 I understand you, I used to feel in that way, but maybe one of the reasons that I really wanted was on the critics. Nowadays I'm fine with the notion of being "Virgin" I have no rush (referring me about the penetration). I met one of my closest friends at the moment when she was "virgin" yet, however, when she told me that she "lost" it I was like: "we are not in the same club anymore" (ridiculous, right?) Too much ridiculous as the idea that you achieved a change in your life. If you want to lose your "virginity" do it because you really feel that is one experience that you think you'll enjoy it. : ) Link to post Share on other sites
iwihu Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 I've experienced this before, the feeling that I would like to lose my virginity for the sake of not being labeled as one. But understand that the most important thing is being comfortable and happy with yourself, your sexuality and label is defined by you and only you. I know the societal implication of being a virgin, especially as an adult, is negative but try to do what you think is good for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 And my opinion about many different issues, including stigmatisation of virginity, is... Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 I'm confused as to why being a virgin would make one stand out in any way that's particularly notable. I assume because the whole concept is just such a non-issue to me. Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted February 12, 2021 Share Posted February 12, 2021 Perhaps if you can rearrange your thinking about sex a bit, it will stop bothering you so much? I don't wish to be too graphic for this section of the forum, but suffice it to say that allosexuals will often do many things with other people and still describe themselves as virgins so long as they haven't done the one specific heterosexual act. So you can have two people who call themselves "virgins", one who has a great deal of experience with multiple people, and the other who has never so much as kissed or held hands romantically with another person. It doesn't tell you as much about the person as it seems to. There's nothing inherently life changing about heterosexual intercourse - the idea is a holdover from ancient cultures and mostly had to do with establishing paternity of children. Link to post Share on other sites
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