Whitty comebacks for people who say, "you just haven't found the right person", "there's plenty of fish in the sea," etc.

[RobL2415]

What are some good ones to use?

[CrimsonFox]

You know what else is in the sea? Trash

 

You just havent found the right *gender that they arent attracted to* yet

Eg to a heterosexual women: You just haven't found the right girl yet

[Guest]

I'm not you. I don't like fish.

[Oberon Jasper]

"Plenty of fish in the sea": Yeah. And they're all pufferfish: poisonous.  Or    Good. Enjoy them. I don't like seafood.

 

(Along the same lines of @CrimsonFox

"You haven't found the right one yet.": Oh. Would you tell your straight son he hasn't found the right man yet since he's not gay/bi? Why you telling me that? Huh? Are you me? Do you know how I feel?

[Lord Jade Cross]

Somehow the "This fish, I will pleasure myself with it" meme sounds about equally disturbing and yet fitting for this xD

[a little annihilation]

"I'm allergic to seafood" 

"You just haven't found the right person yet," "yes one that will accept me for who I am--"

"Oh yeah? You seem to have found plenty of right people but you haven't stayed with any of them............"

 

[RobL2415]

I see this place has a fascination with puns.

[Aiv]

For when family members who say things about 'when you have a child' like it's a known fact, a thing that's just bound to happen, give you stuff from when you were a baby to have for when you have a baby, you could say "oh, *pet's name* will love this" or "thank you for thinking of *pet's name* but I don't think they'd like it." I don't know how much you get this kind of thing from family, but I get it a lot.

6 minutes ago, Kieran said:

Good. Enjoy them. I don't like seafood.

And this is absolutely what I would say if I got that "fish in the sea" thing. (I'm vegetarian and aroace, so it's true both ways) 'You think I want fish? And you think you know me? I don't care if you like fish, just keep that stuff away from me.' 

 

I think purposely taking it to mean something else is a fun way to go at it. 

[Lord Jade Cross]

4 minutes ago, RobL2415 said:

I see this place has a fascination with puns.

Let the good times roll lol

[weird elf]

not a reply, but I found this on reddit and .. yeah.

 

[Acing It]

20 minutes ago, RobL2415 said:

I see this place has a fascination with puns.

I'm sure you mean plaice?? 😅

[Memento1]

I don't find witty comebacks fulfilling anymore.  For me, at the end of the day feeling superior to someone is just as lonely as feeling inferior to them.  Getting off that seesaw is the hardest thing I've ever done, though.

[Aiv]

5 minutes ago, Memento1 said:

I don't find witty comebacks fulfilling anymore.  For me, at the end of the day feeling superior to someone is just as lonely as feeling inferior to them.  Getting off that seesaw is the hardest thing I've ever done, though.

I personally just feel tired of explaining myself to people who should know what's going on by now. (Seriously, people, it's been six years now!) But I definitely agree about feeling less than satisfied with yourself afterwards. Whenever I "win" or have the last word in a conversation, it always makes me think no one's won at all (because conversations aren't about winning, they're about connecting). However, most of the time I'm rendered completely frozen: it's always either anger or some sort of shock/embarrassment/confusion thing. Or I just swallow it and try and move on, which isn't fun either. There's really no good way to respond when someone says something hurtful or thoughtless and they appear to not have noticed, even when they really should've.

[Memento1]

24 minutes ago, an~imperial~votress said:

I personally just feel tired of explaining myself to people who should know what's going on by now. (Seriously, people, it's been six years now!) But I definitely agree about feeling less than satisfied with yourself afterwards. Whenever I "win" or have the last word in a conversation, it always makes me think no one's won at all (because conversations aren't about winning, they're about connecting). However, most of the time I'm rendered completely frozen: it's always either anger or some sort of shock/embarrassment/confusion thing. Or I just swallow it and try and move on, which isn't fun either. There's really no good way to respond when someone says something hurtful or thoughtless and they appear to not have noticed, even when they really should've.

Oh, I can relate.  Even when I stopped saying the witty comebacks, I still didn't know what to do other than walk away, which felt empty and invisible and hopeless.  My mind still comes up with all sorts of witty comebacks out of habit, haha.  I've come to think that I freeze because I've had no good role-models of how to respond except walk away or fight (which are the things my parents did).  I'm still on the journey of stumbling towards effective responses, but I think I've made slow progress.  Trying to think of what I might say instead, I thought of "I know you mean well, but instead of reassurance that someone will care about me in the future, I'm looking for reassurance that someone cares about me right now.  If you're not in a place to offer that, I understand.  I'll look elsewhere for that, and we can talk about something else/so I'm going to go for now."  Of course, it's much easier to think of that when it's not actually happening.  I still tend to freeze in panic at the moment as my fight or flight response kicks in and clouds my logical mind (sorry, I've studied a lot of biology, so I think in these terms).

 

Not to say I know better.  I guess I'm just using this to process my own thoughts, since I sometimes think better by expressing outwardly.

[Aiv]

7 minutes ago, Memento1 said:

Of course, it's much easier to think of that when it's not actually happening.

Yes! It's hard to think properly when it's actually happening, you end up either saying something you later feel bad for saying, or nothing at all. And somehow I never seem to see it coming, and have no idea how to react or respond.

[Memento1]

23 minutes ago, an~imperial~votress said:

And somehow I never seem to see it coming, and have no idea how to react or respond.

Haha, yeah!  Which is why I like to spend my time here thinking about how I might respond.  Or I role-play potentially triggering conversations with my therapist.  Then I feel slightly better prepared and less overwhelmed when it does happen, though it's still a slow process.

 

If you're interested, I learned a lot about what happens in the brain during those moments by reading the book "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog" (terrible title, great book).  It helps me forgive myself for freezing when I understand why it happens.  Again, only if you're interested.  To some people that kind of thing doesn't help.  I just get so excited to share when I feel like we're on the same wavelength

[Janus the Fox]

Fish? I can't swim with the fishes

[Maelstrom_17]

2 hours ago, Memento1 said:

I don't find witty comebacks fulfilling anymore.  For me, at the end of the day feeling superior to someone is just as lonely as feeling inferior to them.  Getting off that seesaw is the hardest thing I've ever done, though.

How is it a seesaw? I'm so confused lol.

[Aiv]

1 hour ago, Memento1 said:

If you're interested, I learned a lot about what happens in the brain during those moments by reading the book "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog" (terrible title, great book).  It helps me forgive myself for freezing when I understand why it happens.  Again, only if you're interested.  To some people that kind of thing doesn't help.  I just get so excited to share when I feel like we're on the same wavelength

 I do like learning why my brain does things, but yeah, I don't know how helpful that is when my brain still does it after learning it. In any case, I'm overwhelmed with books at the moment. (Although I can say I am continually in a state of being overwhelmed by books.)

[CajunAce]

I'm allergic to fish/people (then start sneezing violently as you walk away)

[Acerna]

20 minutes ago, CajunAce said:

I'm allergic to fish/people (then start sneezing violently as you walk away)

Haha or say "Sorry I'm allergic to imbeciles"

[Naiwen]

I’d like one with “you just haven’t fallen in love yet”. Many people seem to think that asexuals are dysfunctional too.

[Memento1]

53 minutes ago, Maelstrom_17 said:

How is it a seesaw? I'm so confused lol.

Sorry, the metaphor makes sense to me but I can understand why it may not for everyone.  It's like a seesaw because my self-esteem goes down, then up, then down again as I feel either inferior or superior to the other person.  It's related to transactional analysis (I'm studying psychology).

[Maelstrom_17]

4 hours ago, Memento1 said:

Sorry, the metaphor makes sense to me but I can understand why it may not for everyone.  It's like a seesaw because my self-esteem goes down, then up, then down again as I feel either inferior or superior to the other person.  It's related to transactional analysis (I'm studying psychology).

Gotcha. I minored in psych, and I never took a class where we would talk about transactional analysis.. not sure what branch of psychology it belongs to. I may have just never taken a class that touches on the branch of psych that transactional analysis belongs to.

[Zebrafinch]

Really? How is it going for you?

(This depends on their dating/relationship history)

[sugarfi]

"No thanks, I don't want to sleep with the fishes."

[groovygrievy]

With the rising sea temperatures, the destruction of coral reefs, the amount of pollution, the oil spills and the over fishing there aren't actually as many fish left in the sea as previously. Also a lot of them either have high levels of mercury or micorplastics. Also fish range from dwarf minnow to sharks and sharks are older than trees. Sharks evolved before trees did and yet we villainise them. Why? They are beautiful creatures that haven't really had to evolve much since trees. Some of them are hundreds of years old! I'm not as cool as a shark, but that's like the epitome of fish left in the sea. You honestly think I could get a shark? 

 

my tactic is to just throw animal facts at people until they change the subject and start talking about their favourite fish. 

[Possum Party]

"there's plenty of fish in the sea" "that's the problem, I have ichthyophobia"

 

Which is a true statement for me at least.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[DarkStormyKnight]

Honestly just a "how is that any of your business" or "don't think I asked for your opinion" is usually how I respond.

[Estel Voronda]

Not my own invention but saw it in the video here. "Maybe you haven't met the right cactus yet?". The video also shares responses to other comments aces one usually gets.

Also, not particularly witty but... The more I see, the more sure I am I don't want it.