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Am I Demi sexual/romantic


Lillymoid

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I honestly am worried about making a post as I've see a lot already about this topic. I just wanted to ask based on my own personal experiences. I once thought I was lesbian and then I met my fiancee (who is obviously male) and then decided I was Bi or Pan but since I heard Demi was a thing I've been curious. I have to know someone to be attracted to them but I've also had crushes on people although these "crushes" are on friends I've known for a while. As for my fiancée after a week of knowing him I because attracted to him because of his amazing-ness. We talked nearly constantly. Does this make me not demi? The more I think about it the more I think I may be but I'm so confused.

Tmi maybe but porn does nothing for me but I love reading smut. Also TMI but I enjoy sex for the connection but if I don't have it I'm okay with that too. I don't necessarily have sex for the pleasure.

 

Edit: I read a few comments and I don't know if I'm just trying to fit into a box or not but it was scarily weird with my fiancée. The only previous relationship was with a girl after knowing her for about 4 or 5 months and that had never gone really into sexual. ((Why do I decide I need a label now since always been confused) 

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Grey-Ace Ventura
21 minutes ago, Lillymoid said:

As for my fiancée after a week of knowing him I because attracted to him

That doesn't sound like the experience of most demis. Demisexuality doesn't mean someone who's not into hookup culture or someone who has to know someone before being attracted to them, it means someone who has to have formed an extremely strong emotional bond with someone before being able to be attracted to them. For many demis, this takes a very long time, like upwards of 6 months, often times many years, but not a week.

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35 minutes ago, Lillymoid said:

I have to know someone to be attracted to them but I've also had crushes on people although these "crushes" are on friends I've known for a while. As for my fiancée after a week of knowing him I because attracted to him because of his amazing-ness.

 

37 minutes ago, Lillymoid said:

I enjoy sex for the connection

This sounds very well within the realm of typical sexual experience. For most sexual people, the connection is also important, not just the pleasure.

 

Demisexuality refers to needing to know someone for an unusually long amount of time (as Ace says, upwards of at least six months) before experiencing any attraction whatsoever. But it's quite common to not experience attraction until having a sense of someone's personality, rather than when they're complete strangers.

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Have you considered grey- rather than demi-? 

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