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Is this sexual attraction or romantic/sensual attraction?


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Last year, I met this girl in my class and in my secondary school, you basically have to sit with the same person for the whole year unless were in different classes and last year she felt like a friend, and she always made me laugh but before we had to go in lockdown once again I think I started to like her in a romantic way but I dont know if it's sexual attraction or romantic/sensual attraction. I always wanna be around her when am upset and being around her just makes me happier and this happens with her too. Sometimes we spoke on our own about fictional characters on films/shows and shared our opinions on what's happening on the news, like covid and more covid. That's literally all that gets spoke about on the news. Though sometimes I wanted to hug her and I felt like I want to spend my whole life with her. 


I don't know much about sexual, romantic or sensual attraction so I dont really know what situation I'm in and how am attracted to her but I know it isnt like I want to have sex with her.

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1 hour ago, WinterAlf said:

I know it isnt like I want to have sex with her.

Then it sounds like it's not sexual attraction you're feeling towards her.


The wish to hug her seems very much like sensual attraction and everything else you've mentioned sounds like romantic attraction to me (wanting to always be around her etc.). Though I would like to mention that in the end, it is up to you how you label these experiences. We have no right to do that for you (and we certainly don't want to do it either).


If you want to learn a bit more about what the types of attraction look like, here are a few short definitions I consider quite appropriate. I copied these from another thread, I  hope that's ok! Here is the link to it: 


"1. Romantic attraction: desiring a romantic relationship with someone
3. Sensual or physical attraction: wanting to touch, hold, or cuddle someone
7. Sexual desire: This is the desire to have sex, whether it’s for pleasure, a personal connection, conception, or something else.
8. Sexual attraction:This involves finding someone sexually appealing and wanting to have sex with them."


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Be gentle on yourself, don't get stressed by what you are capable of giving. When you know yourself talk with that person you think so much of.  Tell them what you like and don't like and try not to make excuses as to why you don't want to be physically close, if you don't; as it can hurt the very person you may be in love with.  You come across as being young.  Being young and writing what you have makes me think you are a deep thinker who will work out what you truly feel.


Thank goodness you found this website and had the strength of personality to post. As I said be gentle on yourself, you will work out who you are given time.



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Is sexual attraction really just being able to look at someone and instantly thinking “sex”? I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone and thought “sex”. I don’t know for sure if I’m ace or not, and I just wish I could have the brain of someone who’s allo just for a day so I can know what exactly people mean when they say “sexual attraction”. 

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