My fetish and feeling alone

[Ita828878]

*This post may be weird or uncomfortable for some to read. Maybe not, but I figured I'd say it in case*

 

Coming right out with it...I have a tickling fetish. Particularly being tickled, but I can go either way. It's nothing wild. I'm not into BDSM, torture, humiliation, non-consensual or anything like that. For me it's more a playful thing because I love laughter and happiness. There's also absolutely a sensual component because the idea of having a body explored by a romantic partner and getting closer physically while incorporating something that makes it a bit more playful also is just a thrilling idea to me. I want to explain my fetish and why it makes me feel like I'm in a place between sexual and asexual that I haven't really found anyone else out there who can relate much at all. 

 

I feel like I'm living in a world of my own. I'm definitely not what anyone would call 100% asexual. I get strong feelings of arousal(mostly caused by tickling). I'm attracted to women. I have fantasies about having tickling relations with a woman I'm interested in. In those fantasies, I do like for the woman and myself to be tickled naked. To me, that's really hot and sensual and more fun. I do get very aroused by these fantasies, and getting aroused by these fantasies is one of the best parts of it. So in that sense, you'd say I'm on the sexual side of the spectrum for sure.

Where things get weird with me is that despite being naked and aroused in these fantasies, I have absolutely no desire for the fantasies to become "sexual." By that I mean, I have no desire for there to be any actions besides tickling. Tickling intimate areas of the body is great, but nothing beyond that. No jerking off, sucking, fingering, sex etc. It does nothing for me. To be honest, if I do try to include that in my fantasy, it kills my arousal.

On top of that, in reality while I'm thinking about/writing my fantasies, I get aroused but have no desire to masturbate. I just sit with the arousal and enjoy the feeling.

 

I just feel like my fantasies push boundaries that most in the asexual community would never cross, but at the same time I never really cross into sexual territory either per say. Not sure where I stand in this community, if anywhere. If I don't belong here, I really don't know where I stand in the sexual community. I just feel like I'm in no man's land. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

I don't think that counts as sexual. You could check out the sex talk area, because you'll see there's others with kinks and stuff.

 

Don't tickle me. I can only stand it for a few seconds XD

[Karst]

I have to admit, I was expecting something much less tame when I opened this thread!

Asexuality and sexuality aren't as much of a clear-cut boundary as people like to imagine.  It's okay if the existing labels don't quite fit your lived experiences.

[GhoulFriend]

 I can definitely relate to feeling alone due to a fetish. Mine isn't even anything playful that a partner could laugh with and enjoy. *the following may also be weird and uncomfortable for people to read!*
Personally  I'm into dead people. I too get to feeling aroused and romantic, and occasionally (but not always) I get sexual thoughts when something incites those feelings. But I've yet to find a partner who understands this and I'm not sure I ever will. So I fantasize a lot on my own, and like you I'm still a bit unsure my place in the ace community. Although I do find this a very welcoming site to be able to express myself and talk about such thoughts without judgement. 
I think the ace spectrum is so wide and varied there is no one way to define it. Everyone on the spectrum seems to experience it differently. Although we may feel alone sometimes, it is also nice to know a community like this exists!

[verily-forsooth-egads]

Aces with fetishes exist, and as far as I can tell most people here are aware of that and have no problems with it. The spectrum covers all sorts of things, it's natural that kinks would be among them.

 

I'm not going to describe mine, but I can definitely relate to something that feels sexual in nature but never actually involves sex, plus the thing about arousal without masturbation. I don't have any desire to act on or talk about it though, so that's a few less problems for me.

 

You could always look for a community geared around your specific fetish and ask if anyone's ace. It's a long shot, but no less likely than in a general group of the same size, surely.