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Feel like I could be useful to someone


OrangeView

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Despite lack of romantic/sexual attraction I somehow still feel like I could be useful to someone. I guess this is what is called a QPR. I have no interest or desire to kiss someone, hold hands, etc. Yet, because I know this world works in mysterious ways and sometimes we meet people who surprise us, I feel it’s possible I’m able to do these things for someone. If I liked someone as a person enough to want to be by their side, would I be able to endure little kisses, holding hands and all that?

 

It really just sounds like a relationship to me and I’m confused where the boundaries are for a QPR and a relationship. Or is it possible for someone who’s aromantic and asexual to technically be in a relationship? I wouldn’t be able to like them the way they want but I still feel platonic love is very strong because I’m still human and capable of feeling jealous about ‘my person’. I would do these things not out of romantic feelings but just because I would want to be of use to someone. 
 

I’ve never had this feeling until now (22). Before I was fine just living on my own, now I feel like I could be of use. Anyone else have these thoughts?

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7 hours ago, OrangeView said:

Despite lack of romantic/sexual attraction I somehow still feel like I could be useful to someone. I guess this is what is called a QPR. I have no interest or desire to kiss someone, hold hands, etc. Yet, because I know this world works in mysterious ways and sometimes we meet people who surprise us, I feel it’s possible I’m able to do these things for someone. If I liked someone as a person enough to want to be by their side, would I be able to endure little kisses, holding hands and all that?

 

It really just sounds like a relationship to me and I’m confused where the boundaries are for a QPR and a relationship. Or is it possible for someone who’s aromantic and asexual to technically be in a relationship? I wouldn’t be able to like them the way they want but I still feel platonic love is very strong because I’m still human and capable of feeling jealous about ‘my person’. I would do these things not out of romantic feelings but just because I would want to be of use to someone. 
 

I’ve never had this feeling until now (22). Before I was fine just living on my own, now I feel like I could be of use. Anyone else have these thoughts?

I am curious though, what do you mean by 'of use'? I guess that phrase means different things to people obviously.

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On 1/11/2021 at 5:18 AM, OrangeView said:

Before I was fine just living on my own, now I feel like I could be of use. Anyone else have these thoughts?

Yes. I think it is part of my submissive mindset (have different mindsets). To have a fulfilling life I must make another person's life easier/more pleasant/more spiritual/whatever. This is currently not really happening for me, and it leaves a rather unpleasant, gut-wrenching feeling of uselessness. Looking back I think the feeling/urge has always been with me, but I've become more aware of it as I got older. I guess dryly stating it like "I need to be of use to someone" is easily interpreted as there is no love involved, but it is to the contrary.

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