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Aego/autochorris or placiosexual?


Taemi

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Hello :) I hope you have a nice day! I have some questions for you. 

 

I would like to have sex (I'm not exactly sex-averse) but the act itself doesn't feel pleasurable for me and I don't feel the physical need to be involved in sexual activites. My body just doesn't react to physical stimuli. But I really like to read about my two favorite  fictional characters (celebrities) having sex and because of their described amazing feelings I can feel good too. I find both of them attractive to me in aesthetical / sensual way. So I like it because of that aspect as well. I do not like reading about sex of strangers, who I don't know how they look like. Is that aego/autochorris behaviour? 

 

At the same time I like the idea to please somebody I love. I can imagine I would be able to please my unkwnown future partner by handjob. I like the idea of making someone to feel good. But I don't want to receive sexual pleasure from him back, again because my body doesn't react to this and then it feels repulsive. Is that placio behaviour?

 

I have to say I don't find someone attractive to me very often. And I'm not very touchy person in general. I don't need to have labels for other people to see, I'm okay with being gray-asexual somewhere in the gray area. But I would like to know for better understanding to myself if these labels are proper for me.

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You sound a lot like me, in most of that description. My preferred label is "demisexual", but truthfully I am "placiosexual" as well. My partner and I (she identifies as ace), started out with an entirely one-sided notion of physical intimacy. I was always the "giving partner" and focused solely on pleasing her. All throughout that period of time I called myself demisexual because I did like the idea of sex, but didn't really feel like I desired partnered sexual activities for myself. Though the evolution of my relationship with her I realized that I'm placiosexual until the point where my need for a close bond (read: my demisexual criteria) is met. Until I'm close enough to a person, I'm both demisexual and placiosexual. When the bond is formed and strong enough, I then want it to be reciprocal. Being polyamorous and having a very mild panic attack when I tried to sleep with my ex helped me realize that. Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not...but I do not like to be in reciprocal relationships early on.

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5 hours ago, Satan's Little Helper said:

You sound a lot like me, in most of that description. My preferred label is "demisexual", but truthfully I am "placiosexual" as well. My partner and I (she identifies as ace), started out with an entirely one-sided notion of physical intimacy. I was always the "giving partner" and focused solely on pleasing her. All throughout that period of time I called myself demisexual because I did like the idea of sex, but didn't really feel like I desired partnered sexual activities for myself. Though the evolution of my relationship with her I realized that I'm placiosexual until the point where my need for a close bond (read: my demisexual criteria) is met. Until I'm close enough to a person, I'm both demisexual and placiosexual. When the bond is formed and strong enough, I then want it to be reciprocal. Being polyamorous and having a very mild panic attack when I tried to sleep with my ex helped me realize that. Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not...but I do not like to be in reciprocal relationships early on.

Thank you for your reply :) I was in relationship where was strong emotional, romantic, intellectual bond formed and I didn't desire to receive sexual pleasure. So I guess I'm not demisexual, because I require emotional bond, even for kisses, cuddles, but still not desire to receive sexual activities back. I am woman and it is probably very rare to want to be only giver. 

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14 hours ago, Taemi said:

Thank you for your reply :) I was in relationship where was strong emotional, romantic, intellectual bond formed and I didn't desire to receive sexual pleasure. So I guess I'm not demisexual, because I require emotional bond, even for kisses, cuddles, but still not desire to receive sexual activities back. I am woman and it is probably very rare to want to be only giver. 

I'm not allowed to tell you what you are or are not, because that's your decision to make. What I am allowed to do is suggest that you investigate the "demiromantic" label to see how you feel about it. 

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