Jump to content

Do you have nightmares about sex?


Taemi

Recommended Posts

I have the repeating one since I was 15. There is no specific person there and I'm about to have my own wedding and I'm scared, that means I would have to have sex with that person. All dream is about that anxious feeling and then I wake up.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't consider them nightmares, but they are still unpleasant.

Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as I know, I've never dreamed about sex. At all. I can't even remember any dreams about kissing, a wedding or anything linked to romance or sex.

Weirdly enough, I recall dreaming I was pregnant (but with no genitor in sight) a few times. It's not something I want in real life, but in the dreams I remember being like 'ugh, really!? How the hell did that happen? Oh well, whatever...' and then just continuing with whatever I was doing.

Dreams are weird. ^^'

Link to post
Share on other sites
PenultimateSandwich

I've dreamed about sex despite never having it myself. My dreams always featured me with a person and I'm comfortable with them. Once the "act" starts though, something always interrupts us. I think this is my brain basically telling me that it's not really sure where to go from there. I've always wanted to enjoy sex with another person, even though I probably wouldn't, and I think that's why I dream like this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere
11 hours ago, Astrea said:

As far as I know, I've never dreamed about sex. At all. I can't even remember any dreams about kissing, a wedding or anything linked to romance or sex.

Similar for me. I just don't have any sexual dreams. But I generally have poor dream recall. I consider myself a person with much imagination and an etremely active mind, but my dreams are banal and I remember maybe like two dreams a month...

Having nightmares about sex would be... plausible, given that I'm definitely sex-averse, but I very rarely have nightmares. (Maybe dreams indeed have something to do with our "consumption" of media content, although I just don't get why would media influence them more then everything else which happens in our waking world? I've read that, supposedly, dreams in black and white were common... as long as TV was black and white. :blink: And so, as for me not having nightmares: maybe it might have something to do with the fact that I don't watch horror films?) I mostly remember one, which was nevertheless remarkable for two reasons: 1) I actually "died" in my dream - and since childhood I've heard Scary Stories that if you dream about dying and you don't wake up at that moment, you will actually die... you can rest assured, I have proven it wrong ;); 2) it was really strikingly tied to real-life events. You see, I have experienced a psychedelic fascination since 1994 (age: 13 by year, 12 by still having had 3 months until birthday... I prefer saying "12" because it sounds even more scary and scandalous that a child of this age might experience such fascination... ;)), but I first tried a psychedelic drug in 2012 (age: 31/30, analogically). And I was really desperate, really wanted it to much that at some point, while watching the musical "Hair" in theatre, I was on the verge of screaming "I would give everything for this experience!"... and yet I was also afraid and just refused to do it in suboptimal conditions. And in these circumstances, in late 2011, I had a dream about being killed in an accident - I was the passenger of a car (I only ride as passenger anyway) which fell from a high viaduct... and sure enough, as I was falling down, I thought: "I have lost my chance, I will never try a psychedelic, this is the end of all hopes".

I can only... wish everyone time to do what they desire most...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I am observer to it in dreams, but though I "know" that's what it is visually it's looks like something else entirely, like dancing or swimming for instance. And oddly enough I'm never bothered by it, "those people over there are acting weird, whatever" is the usual sentiment. I think a hug is the most it usually looks like. The dancers were fully dressed in fluffy skirts and striped tights.

Actually I sometimes am a different person or a character in dreams, and I remember in one I was a young ghost girl who was "adopted" by this family. For some reason this "adoption" involved marrying one of the children of her new family. The wedding and all that followed were skipped over, starting back up with her waking up in her new husband's bed the following morning. As I recall, her being a ghost meant the adoption didn't really work out in the end, and she left the house to continue wandering around in the street. (The whole thing was very "Match Girl"-esque to me, except she was brought into the house whose comforts she admired from outside, and yet it doesn't work out anyways.)

2 hours ago, Astrea said:

Weirdly enough, I recall dreaming I was pregnant (but with no genitor in sight) a few times. It's not something I want in real life, but in the dreams I remember being like 'ugh, really!? How the hell did that happen? Oh well, whatever...' and then just continuing with whatever I was doing.

Dreams are weird. ^^'

That sounds very like a dream I'd have. I think that in dreams I tend to be less concerned by legitimately concerning things. Most likely not a dream-attitude belonging to me alone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

(Maybe dreams indeed have something to do with our "consumption" of media content, although I just don't get why would media influence them more then everything else which happens in our waking world? I've read that, supposedly, dreams in black and white were common... as long as TV was black and white. :blink: And so, as for me not having nightmares: maybe it might have something to do with the fact that I don't watch horror films?)

I'm not the kind of person to watch horror films or anything too graphic, but I do have lots of nightmares. That said, I have lots of weird dreams I remember vividly, and also my nightmares are more mentally than visually horrible. They often hold a lot of weight or meaning beyond what they visually appear to portray. They don't look half as creepy as they feel.

Spoiler

One nightmare, for instance, was of this enchanted prince in the form of a large gold-furred dog who knocked on my door requesting help. He was huge and leaned heavily on me and the door when I opened it to see what was there. I woke up terrified of him even though he didn't appear frightening (and come to think of it I don't even know why he was so scary to me, only that he was!)

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

idk I sometimes dream about me being raped by a boy which is very unpleasant.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have ones most common these days about the pretense of a "honeymoon" and the end result is me feeling pressured about having to have sex with that person. It is very frustrating. I hate having to imagine myself touching anyone's genitals. Ugh just me typing that out is making me feel disgusted. 

1 hour ago, EricKim0813 said:

idk I sometimes dream about me being raped by a boy which is very unpleasant.

I have these kinds of nightmares too. But it also progresses to where I would get kidnapped in the process and it turns to where I feel compelled to kill my assaulter. Thats when things turn dark and bloody. I won't go into details but yeah... sex involving me instead of another person turns horrific and nasty.

Link to post
Share on other sites
UndertaleGirl

I used to have nightmares about a fictional character raping me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

i got these kinds of nightmares when i was a kid, maybe 11 or 12. they was always quite distressing.

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Astrea said:

Weirdly enough, I recall dreaming I was pregnant (but with no genitor in sight) a few times. It's not something I want in real life, but in the dreams I remember being like 'ugh, really!? How the hell did that happen? Oh well, whatever...' and then just continuing with whatever I was doing.

Dreams are weird. ^^'

I have this kind of dream too, but I in there I feel the same anxious feeling like in those with wedding. I am like "How could this happen to me? I like children, but I'm not sure if I want to have them.." and there the dream ends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Maybe dreams indeed have something to do with our "consumption" of media content, although I just don't get why would media influence them more then everything else which happens in our waking world?

I think this can be true. In my case there is crazy wedding & baby boom around me. Almost everyday I'm seeing on social media that someone of my "friends" (they are not really my friends in real life, I just know them from school, university, etc) annoucing wedding or pregnancy. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Interestingly enough, I also don't have sexual dreams. I think it probably has to do with how sex isn't really something I think about much in my day to day life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, PenultimateSandwich said:

I've dreamed about sex despite never having it myself. My dreams always featured me with a person and I'm comfortable with them. Once the "act" starts though, something always interrupts us. I think this is my brain basically telling me that it's not really sure where to go from there. I've always wanted to enjoy sex with another person, even though I probably wouldn't, and I think that's why I dream like this.

I have sometimes similiar dreams, but it's not nowhere close to sex. It's about fully clothed hug, holding hands or kiss with my crush/platonic love (which are singers from my favourite band) and it isn't sexual, it's about affection or mutual understending. So these dreams are pleasant for me :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not exactly a nightmare, but I had a dream just last night about an ex from the distant past (who I never had sex with, I was very young and it was hardly a "relationship") trying to get sexually involved with me and kind of coercing me. I remember pushing him away and reluctantly giving in, but someone walking in before anything could happen, and then I woke up. It was odd because I absolutely never have sex dreams, but of course since I'm pretty "new" in my questioning period, I'm thinking about sex a lot at the moment as I'm trying to understand exactly what it is I'm feeling in relation to it. It was almost like this dream was my brain saying "hey! you don't actually like this!" to me, haha.

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, confused?? said:

Not exactly a nightmare, but I had a dream just last night about an ex from the distant past (who I never had sex with, I was very young and it was hardly a "relationship") trying to get sexually involved with me and kind of coercing me. I remember pushing him away and reluctantly giving in, but someone walking in before anything could happen, and then I woke up. It was odd because I absolutely never have sex dreams, but of course since I'm pretty "new" in my questioning period, I'm thinking about sex a lot at the moment as I'm trying to understand exactly what it is I'm feeling in relation to it. It was almost like this dream was my brain saying "hey! you don't actually like this!" to me, haha.

I have sometimes similiar dream too, but it comes from my real life experience, when my ex boyfriend was trying to kiss me with tounge and it was repulsive for me, so I always pushed him aside. So basically it's a memory. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Taemi said:

I have this kind of dream too, but I in there I feel the same anxious feeling like in those with wedding. I am like "How could this happen to me? I like children, but I'm not sure if I want to have them.." and there the dream ends.

A few years ago, I have read a book about how the brain works and it contained a neuropsychiatrist article about nightmares which I found really enlightening. The article explained that dreams are your brain's way of preparing for things you'll have to face when you are awake. Like a rehearsal which will help you to be less anxious, react better and which will soften the blow for any unfavorable outcome. So, your brain makes you dream of scenarios you particularly dread to prepare in case it ever came true. 
The article mentioned that students who dreamed of failing their exams a lot statistically did better than others, because they were better prepared to handle the stress and the fact that they routinely dreamed of failure pushed them to study more.
First, your brain will incorporate things you dread in innocuous scenarios to help you get used to them (hence sometimes you dream of terrible things but feel unbothered by them) and if it goes well, it will up the stakes. If at some point your anxiety spikes in response, the brain will often chose to abort the experiment, deeming it a failure, and will wake you up. That's what a nightmare is.
It seems like you are deeply anxious about sex, intimacy and pregnancy so your brain is trying to desensitize you, but you are so triggered by it it evolves in nightmares often. Thus, your brain just keeps trying.
My father is very very sick and he doesn't have much time left. When his illness was announced, I was of course very distressed and, for months, I was constantly waking up from nightmares about him dying. Now that I've had time to 'get used' to the idea, I dream about it less often or it's incorporated in dreams which don't generate enough distress to wake me up. Generally the nightmares come back just before I go see him, probably because my anxiety levels are spiking.

I don't know if that helps at all, but reading about this made me see my nightmares in a whole new light and helped me accept them a lot better ^^

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have recurring nightmares about being raped.  And have for most of my life.  Idk why.

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Astrea said:

A few years ago, I have read a book about how the brain works and it contained a neuropsychiatrist article about nightmares which I found really enlightening. The article explained that dreams are your brain's way of preparing for things you'll have to face when you are awake. Like a rehearsal which will help you to be less anxious, react better and which will soften the blow for any unfavorable outcome. So, your brain makes you dream of scenarios you particularly dread to prepare in case it ever came true. 
The article mentioned that students who dreamed of failing their exams a lot statistically did better than others, because they were better prepared to handle the stress and the fact that they routinely dreamed of failure pushed them to study more.
First, your brain will incorporate things you dread in innocuous scenarios to help you get used to them (hence sometimes you dream of terrible things but feel unbothered by them) and if it goes well, it will up the stakes. If at some point your anxiety spikes in response, the brain will often chose to abort the experiment, deeming it a failure, and will wake you up. That's what a nightmare is.
It seems like you are deeply anxious about sex, intimacy and pregnancy so your brain is trying to desensitize you, but you are so triggered by it it evolves in nightmares often. Thus, your brain just keeps trying.
My father is very very sick and he doesn't have much time left. When his illness was announced, I was of course very distressed and, for months, I was constantly waking up from nightmares about him dying. Now that I've had time to 'get used' to the idea, I dream about it less often or it's incorporated in dreams which don't generate enough distress to wake me up. Generally the nightmares come back just before I go see him, probably because my anxiety levels are spiking.

I don't know if that helps at all, but reading about this made me see my nightmares in a whole new light and helped me accept them a lot better ^^

I'm so sorry about your father :( Thank you for sharing your knowledge about nightmares. I also have nightmares about my family members dying, even they are healthy. And I also had and still sometimes have nightmares about failing my exams and I am already 4 year off from college. I'm generally very anxious person. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Probably the odd duck in that I've never really experienced any dreams about having sex or anything sexually-related. I would say that I've certainty had "thoughts" that are somewhat intrusive, and those can be about sexual scenarios that I don't feel comfortable with at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
ThatoneMASØN
On 1/5/2021 at 2:23 PM, Taemi said:

I have the repeating one since I was 15. There is no specific person there and I'm about to have my own wedding and I'm scared, that means I would have to have sex with that person. All dream is about that anxious feeling and then I wake up.

Well I wouldn't call my dream exactly a "nightmare" but I did have a foul taste in my mouth when i was licking/kissing the ArEa on a girl that was my enemy in the past. Really regret that dream and caused me to have some fear and anxiety for sex lol 



Mason/Cashton at your service!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...