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Naiwen's personal Questions and Musings as an Aro-Ace


Naiwen

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1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Chocolate cake is clearly not disgusting. 

Tell my younger daughter that, she hates it for some reason!! :P (mmmm chocolate cake - I technically started a diet today so must not think of chocolate cake)

 

But yeah it's a confusing one, because for example if someone is like 'I can only get off to hentai it's the best form of porn' .. that's their personal experience but it's still an opinion in a way, haha. Someone else might be like 'well that's your opinion, I think hentai is gross actually'. (ps I have no idea why I am discussing this, I just saw your comment about it being personal experience not opinion and that made my brain cogs start whirring lol)

 

Oh actually, I guess if someone is generally sex repulsed (without actually having sex, they're just repulsed by sex in general so make a statment like: 'sex is so gross I have no idea why people do it') that's an opinion on sex. Whereas if someone is like 'every time I see pictures of men in undies I feel physically ill' that's definitely personal experience, not opinion. 'men look so gross in undies!' = opinion. 'I feel really queasy when I see pictures of men in undies' = personal experience.

 

I think it all makes more sense in my brain now, haha. ...Maybe.. 

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1 minute ago, PanFicto. said:

Tell my younger daughter that, she hates it for some reason!! :P (mmmm chocolate cake - I technically started a diet today so must not think of chocolate cake)

 

But yeah it's a confusing one, because for example if someone is like 'I can only get off to hentai it's the best form of porn' .. that's their personal experience but it's still an opinion in a way, haha. Someone else might be like 'well that's your opinion, I think hentai is gross actually'. (ps I have no idea why I am discussing this, I just saw your comment about it being personal experience not opinion and that made my brain cogs start whirring lol)

 

Oh actually, I guess if someone is generally sex repulsed (without actually having sex, they're just repulsed by sex in general so make a statment like: 'sex is so gross I have no idea why people do it') that's an opinion on sex. Whereas if someone is like 'every time I see pictures of men in undies I feel physically ill' that's definitely personal experience, not opinion. 'men look so gross in undies!' = opinion. 'I feel really queasy when I see pictures of men in undies' = personal experience.

 

I think it all makes more sense in my brain now, haha. ...Maybe.. 

Yeah I was thinking about it, and people do sometimes make claims and it's no big deal, though I think it ruffles less feathers if it's a positive claim. Like if someone says 'Cake is delicious!' that seems like something I'd hear easily and feels normal. But if someone says cake is gross.. 😮

I think that in most cases I wouldn't correct people, it's just that I don't like to see people form judgments against things when they could recognize that it's their own experience of it. It's not as bad on an asexual site, but I tend to think how would others think, ... anyway.

I hate horseradish, it literally tastes like.. toxic to me or something, I dunno. I've never said it's disgusting though, I know it's just how my body experiences it.

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Janus the Fox

Jokes or not, just a tiny reminder to avoid name calling, just in case of course :) 

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@Naiwen I've been in a similar place like you, feeling emotionally numb for the longest time. I used to think that all of this was my default state of being, including some form of aro-aceness.

Things are quite different now that I started to feel things ...

The same might become true for you, once you get in touch with your feelings and emotions. But I'm certainly not saying this to scare you, or give you false hope. I just hope that you will be able to overcome this state of being desensitized, it doesn't sound good at all 😔

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Lord Jade Cross

It's called hentai, and it's art! 

 

XD ok I'm sorry, I couldn't resist writtng that. But since I've gone down that road, minus the terrible voice overs they do, (good god even someone who isn't into those can hear they are making zero effort to sell it)  hentai to me has a more colorful approach to it.

 

You could say I'd favor it over porn just because the color schemes are that much more appealing, rather than what is actually happening, which depending on the type of hentai can either be shown or done so like more M rated porn where it's inferred that people are having sex but genitals are not shown and you can easily just put people close, have the move a bit and claim they are having sex.

 

Also hentai has a higher chance of causing me to die laughing, especially when they make it just so that parts of the body are colored in ways that it looks like faces, like when they put these little dots atop breasts (can't show for obvious code of conduct reasons :p) A few times, it's just so amusing to see that. 

 

With porn, it's not that it's impossible but it usually requires more painful situations to happen or just using seal calls dubs lol

 

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I've felt a lot of the time that life would be easier if I felt no care or emotion for anyone. But there are perks to being over emotional and caring, which I can't help being (as well as being aro and probably ace). People suck a lot of the time, but there are good people too. 🙂

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I don't know what constitutes as romance even and I'm gray romantic

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I think love is a wonderful thing and I envy those who can develop romantic feelings for someone (unless of course they aren't reciprocated, that sounds painful). I'm happy with my own company, but I do miss having a close friend. 😕

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As an asexual aromantic and an asocial with many other mental and physical health issues to cope with daily, I don’t see others as necessary or useful for me personally. Because I have Asperger’s, social awkwardness and anxiety, I tend to avoid all social interactions and all shopping and payments are done online. Except for the occasional walk, breathing exercises, meditation and yoga outside in the spring and summer, I don’t usually go outside the house. And finally, I’m also schizoaffective, psychotic and paranoid about everyone else but myself.

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Ok. So what's really your question?

 

Do you want to live in a void where no one else is? That would be an extremely sad life (even if your mind can paint it as 'happy' in some way). I feel like you've lost touch with some fundamental aspects of living, including social living.

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Lord Jade Cross

I don't think it was a question, so much as just airing an opinion. And I can relate to it as, if given the chance, with some exceptions, I really wouldn't leave my house, if I could have all my needs met.

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1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

I don't think it was a question, so much as just airing an opinion. And I can relate to it as, if given the chance, with some exceptions, I really wouldn't leave my house, if I could have all my needs met.

You'd lose touch of something after a while, I don't see how it wouldn't feel empty. There's also that being outside has air and nature and movement, and things that I think anyone needs for mental health.

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Lord Jade Cross
1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

You'd lose touch of something after a while, I don't see how it wouldn't feel empty. There's also that being outside has air and nature and movement, and things that I think anyone needs for mental health.

Funny thing about solitude, unless you're more on the social butterfly type side , for the most part you tend to get used to it to the point where actual interaction with others becomes a huge hassle and you can barely stand it

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Just now, Jade Cross said:

Funny thing about solitude, unless you're the social butterfly type, you tend to get used to it to the point where actual interaction with others becomes a huge hassle and you can't barely stand it

Yes, but I think that means something's missing. Just like someone can get used to and addicted to hard drugs, but it's not actually good for their health.

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Anarchist Kaos

Are you sure they exist?

I often wonder if we really do exist in any form, life feels like a nightmare for which I'm only half awake, is it not possible then that we don't exist and this isn't anything but a nightmare?

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Lord Jade Cross
1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Yes, but I think that means something's missing. Just like someone can get used to and addicted to hard drugs, but it's not actually good for their health.

 It's only missing, if you feel like somethings missing. It's a little how everyone around me becomes flabbergasted that I'm not in a relationship and I'm not desperate for one. It's just not a need for me, no matter what people, psychology, religions, etc say

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gemrisingbitch

There are always going to be billions of people currently alive in the world. I'm an ambivert leaning extrovert, so the idea of being completely alone is tough. I crave affection. It makes sense that it doesn't happen for you with your particular situation.  

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6 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

 It's only missing, if you feel like somethings missing. It's a little how everyone around me becomes flabbergasted that I'm not in a relationship and I'm not desperate for one. It's just not a need for me, no matter what people, psychology, religions, etc say

Yes, and I don't think a romantic relationships is a necessity for someone aromantic. But we're still social beings born in a natural environment. Even someone introverted needs people and the environment to be healthy, whether or not they 'feel' it.

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gemrisingbitch

Also, if you can, report those weirdos. I've had people who were sex-obsessed come into my DM's in the past. And sick of those who think they'll make me less ace if they do x/y/z. I tend to block people like that nowadays or not answer them.

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Lord Jade Cross
6 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Yes, and I don't think a romantic relationships is a necessity for someone aromantic. But we're still social beings born in a natural environment. Even someone introverted needs people and the environment to be healthy, whether or not they 'feel' it.

It's interesting because the idea that you need socializing is based on the grounds that most people live in a social setting.

 

But I would wager that it is possible to live without the interaction of others. It's just that the idea is not really pondered in great scale and for the most part, it will generally be frowned upon and usually will be moved against no matter what

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Just now, Jade Cross said:

It's interesting because the idea that you need socializing is based on the grounds that most people live in a social setting.

 

But I would wager that it is entirely possible to live without the interaction of others. It's just that the idea is not really pondered in great scale and for the most part, it will generally be frowned upon no matter what

Some people would be able to make it work, and some who're more hermits would be ok without socializing, but would still need the environment. I think everyone needs the world to not lose themselves. Some are more able to be ok, but lots of people would be ok with eating the same type of food if they had to and liked it, but without a diverse diet it's still not that healthy.

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Lord Jade Cross
2 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Some people would be able to make it work, and some who're more hermits would be ok without socializing, but would still need the environment. I think everyone needs the world to not lose themselves. Some are more able to be ok, but lots of people would be ok with eating the same type of food if they had to and liked it, but without a diverse diet it's still not that healthy.

Needs such as food, shelter (assuming no life threathening health concerns arise) are difficult but no impossible to get in a setting that would allow it. Obviously in a social setting, since it's tied to money, you won't be able to get it but humans hunted and fished in past lives so they are still capable of it today. Most however don't learn these skills but that doesn't mean they can't do it

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Just now, Jade Cross said:

Needs such as food, shelter (assuming no life threathening health concerns arise) are difficult but no impossible to get in a setting that would allow it. Obviously in a social setting, since it's tied to money, you won't be able to get it but humans hunted and fished in past lives so they are still capable of it today. Most however don't learn these skills but that doesn't mean they can't do it

I meant psychologically, not just getting resources.

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37 minutes ago, Naiwen said:

As an asexual aromantic and an asocial with many other mental and physical health issues to cope with daily, I don’t see others as necessary or useful for me personally. Because I have Asperger’s, social awkwardness and anxiety, I tend to avoid all social interactions and all shopping and payments are done online. Except for the occasional walk, breathing exercises, meditation and yoga outside in the spring and summer, I don’t usually go outside the house. And finally, I’m also schizoaffective, psychotic and paranoid about everyone else but myself.

I mean that's cool and you do you and all that... but... why post about it then?

 

There were umpteen quadrillion times where I thought boy, having people around right now is supremely unnecessary. You know what I didn't do? Reach out to tell them about it.

 

Which link am I missing? Colour me confused.

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Lord Jade Cross
1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

I meant psychologically, not just getting resources.

What would be the basis for it? 

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1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

What would be the basis for it? 

Like I said, people need people and the environment and movement. They're psychological needs that if someone doesn't get theirs, mental health will lower the longer it goes on.

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Lord Jade Cross
Just now, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Like I said, people need people and the environment and movement. They're psychological needs that if someone doesn't get theirs, mental health will lower the longer it goes on.

It be an interesting psychological experiment, but I fear it would still be biased by those doing it if the basis is not left to data alone. However it's not something that will be allowed so it remains just a hypothesis

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Just now, Jade Cross said:

It be an interesting psychological experiment, but I fear it would still be biased by those doing it if the basis is not left to data alone. However it's not something that will be allowed so it remains just a hypothesis

Sure. But it's easy enough to posit it based on how humans are and gathering info rather than doing experiments. That said some people need certain things 'less' just because of how they are. Some hermits are fine living alone in nature for most of their life, though once in a while may want to see another human again.
As for me, this is gonna sound harsh but I would probably end up killing myself if I couldn't see other people at all.

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Anarchist Kaos
1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

It be an interesting psychological experiment, but I fear it would still be biased by those doing it if the basis is not left to data alone. However it's not something that will be allowed so it remains just a hypothesis

Nothing interesting about it, isolation has proven to be so harmful to the human psyche that it's officially classified as a form of torture, it's already known that it's harmful, and it's already been tested many times, we probably have more data than we need about this.

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Lord Jade Cross
1 minute ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Sure. But it's easy enough to posit it based on how humans are and gathering info rather than doing experiments. That said some people need certain things 'less' just because of how they are. Some hermits are fine living alone in nature for most of their life, though once in a while may want to see another human again.
As for me, this is gonna sound harsh but I would probably end up killing myself if I couldn't see other people at all.

That's why I said that it would be missing if you feel it to be. The idea is not that it won't affect everyone adversely but that for some, it could be a viable option if it was available. Sure there are people whom no contact with others would drive them mad but just like their counterparts, it's not an absolute truth

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