Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 Whilst that I can see that someone is beautiful but just aesthetically speaking, I’m still a sex-repulsed and a self-absorbed asexual aromantic. I find sex gross, cringe-worthy and disgusting. Anyone feels the same about it? Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 not so much sex replused as I am sex phobic Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 I have been orally raped by a co-patient at my psych-ward on December 18th, 2015. I think that might be why I’m d’ex-repulsed. But yet, like a child seeing a penis for their first time, I’m repulsed and grossed out by it, especially oral sex, touching and kissing. Except some forced kisses and unwanted touch, I’ve never even been kissed or touched at all personally. I do feel it as strongly as that as well as having been in 2 sexually abusive relationships, I don’t have the desire for romantic relationships or sex at all myself. Is that normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, blunose2772 said: not so much sex replused as I am sex phobic I have an STD and pregnancy phobia myself. Thence why I don’t want kids ever personally. Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 same here. Worlds screwed up enough without half my genes in the next generation anyway Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I don't mind sex as long as only other people do it. Personally, I just culdn't. I consider myself literally psychologically incapable of having sex and I refuse to be ashamed of my feelings - if anything, I'm proud of accepting such a culturally disliked feeling as sex aversion. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 1 minute ago, blunose2772 said: same here. Worlds screwed up enough without half my genes in the next generation anyway Omg same here, mind if I friend you? Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Naiwen said: Omg same here, mind if I friend you? Be my guest Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 Just now, blunose2772 said: Be my guest I have just followed you. Can I rant to you about my sex phobia in pms? Link to post Share on other sites
Shanmimi Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 Tbh I don't really care if others are doing it as long as no one gets hurt. But I can't really see myself doing it since I don't like sex in general, not to mention I kept thinking about the cons/disadvantages most of the times. Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, Naiwen said: I have just followed you. Can I rant to you about my sex phobia in pms? sure. I know from personal experience how much a good rant can help Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 It can take years to work through even one traumatic act, if you've suffered multiple... yeah being utterly repulsed and not desiring anything is normal, for sexuals and asexuals. Some go hypersexual to reclaim the power lost, some try to act "normal" to not allow the trauma to have that power, some become repulsed completely. It just depends. There is no right or wrong way to heal from something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, CBC said: Well that's a very normal response to sexual abuse/rape, if that's what you're asking. Are you receiving any professional help to work through this stuff? Yep I am seeing my psychiatrist and my therapist for it 3 hours weekly. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, blunose2772 said: sure. I know from personal experience how much a good rant can help I have PMed you. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 Just now, CBC said: Glad to hear it. Hang in there. (I know it sounds trite, but... it's true.) You deserve to move past the traumatic effects of abuse and properly heal. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
gemrisingbitch Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I'm more sex-indifferent. I could take it or leave it. It's not a priority Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 Anything sexual, that includes me as participant... nope nope nope... I don't want to be wanted/desired like that... I don't want to see sex in media, like movies, tv series, in front of me IRL. Anime sexual themed stuff seems fine to me.... i'm weird... Link to post Share on other sites
AceAnimeFan Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 16 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said: I don't mind sex as long as only other people do it. Personally, I just culdn't. I consider myself literally psychologically incapable of having sex and I refuse to be ashamed of my feelings - if anything, I'm proud of accepting such a culturally disliked feeling as sex aversion. I'm the same way; I don't mind it as long as it doesn't involve me, which I see as an improvement over where I was 10ish years ago. My tolerance for it in media varies based on the type of media but regardless I still feel sick when I come across it, as well as a feeling approximating a physiological fear response. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 I just wanted to say that I find sex and romance highly overrated and over-hyped. Does it take someone else for you to be happy? No it doesn’t, according to me and I myself am happiest on my own and in my own company. Course, being also an asocial offline, I even find socializing in person unnecessary and useless. Link to post Share on other sites
MakeupJunkie4 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 Proud of you for hanging in there, @Naiwen! ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 You’ve guessed it, I’m the asexual here. Countless men have fallen for me yet all I’m feeling is indifference towards them. I have a question for you all, how do you, as an asexual, respond to someone else’s romantic and sexual attraction to you personally? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I'm so sorry that happened to you @Naiwen. I'm glad to hear that you're getting professional help. Good luck to you. Stay safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 Imho. Love is not fallen into, but grown. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I love love, I love romance. And I've fallen in love. Been heart broken, but learned from it. Asexual doesn't mean not being romantic, it's being aromantic that does If someone is into me sexually, it's not a good sign for a relationship, at this point I need someone who's either less sexual or asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 3 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said: I love love, I love romance. And I've fallen in love. Been heart broken, but learned from it. Asexual doesn't mean not being romantic, it's being aromantic that does If someone is into me sexually, it's not a good sign for a relationship, at this point I need someone who's either less sexual or asexual. I’m an aromantic too, indifferent to romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 It's not overrated at all (maybe some parts, and also expectations that everyone should have them). Love is amazing. It's hard to love ourselves, though that's super important too, but love between two people is something that can bring a lot to someone's life. Sure don't need it to be happy, some people do feel that way, and usually that's some insecurity that's hard to work on, and definitely worthwhile to learn to be happy on our own. We're social beings, and there's lots we gain from interacting with one another and learning to trust each other and bond. I think that yes there are some people who aren't meant for as much socializing. I need time for myself too, but life would be too boring without other people. And I'd like to see and be with them physically too, not always through a screen. The most important is to be true to ourselves. Though I do think some people aren't social because they're scared, or other issues, and that's something worth working on as well on the other side. I have social anxiety but I'm set on getting better with that, as well as getting time for myself too. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Naiwen said: I’m an aromantic too, indifferent to romance. Yes I figured that Link to post Share on other sites
Naiwen Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 I feel like it’s my fault for being raped and that I’m just too attractive to men myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I've rejected everyone who has ever confessed to me Link to post Share on other sites
MakeupJunkie4 Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 I get uncomfortable but I'm always honest with the other person about who I am and my feelings. If they're cool remaining friends, we do (and I give them time and space to "get over it"). If they can't be platonic with me....we part ways. Link to post Share on other sites
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