I was told that asexuality doesn't exist and everyone who says that they never felt sexual attraction lies

[Oberon Jasper]

2 hours ago, Artemis42 said:

Can it completely change their attraction from men to women though?

I don't know since it's hard to judge who someone would've or used to be attracted to since it's no longer the current situation. I just think that anyone attracted to a single or to no gender can have that be induced by trauma. I could be wrong and I need to do more research. It's just a thought of mine.

[MakeupJunkie4]

On 12/8/2020 at 7:57 AM, MaggieB said:

Also he told me that asexuality is a sin and people who identify as asexual are spitting in God's face, it's a sin that they are fighting to not feel anything (I was like ???)

Sounds like something outta Westboro Baptist Church or something. Don't sweat it, some people are crazy and/or stupid - and they refuse to change so...there's no point in trying to convince them. They truly think they know EVERYTHING. Sorry you had to deal with that, though! 😕 

[MakeupJunkie4]

On 12/8/2020 at 9:21 AM, Acerna said:

There's nothing you can really do except maybe send a message saying *spits in your face* cause perhaps he thinks he's powerful and godlike.

🤣🤣🤣

[MakeupJunkie4]

22 minutes ago, fgdsayshi said:

(I'll poke whoever bugs you/makes you feel awful in the eyes. Just say when. 😤😤)

^^^ She means it! 🤣 

[fgdsayshi]

54 minutes ago, MakeupJunkie4 said:

^^^ She means it! 🤣 

You know me so well, AVEN bestie. 🥺💜

[everywhere and nowhere]

And this is the real harm this kind of rhetoric does. Shame on everyone who says that "aces are not oppressed!".

[AppleSas]

I ignore those people. You think I'm lying? I don't give a shit. You can't force me into wanting to have sex and you can't force me to have sex. And if you try I will bite off your finger.

 

Idk, I just don't care about those people. I ignore them. If they're so appalled by how I label myself, they can use their feelings to shut up because even if we lied and it was like celibacy, it doesn't matter. Asexuality would be valid either fucking way.

[AppleSas]

Less serious comment since I accidentally commented twice and Idk how to delete

 

 

Just have some good cake and watch the chaos that unfolds as people like that guy get downvoted into oblivion

[thylacine]

On 12/8/2020 at 10:57 AM, MaggieB said:

In one place on the internet I made a post "Asexuality and aromanticism-a gift from God?" I honestly hoped that there will be normal answers, and some were normal like "Yes, because...", "No, because...", "It depends...". And of course. One guy was constantly trying to convince me, that asexuality is a made up sexuality, doesn't exist and everyone experience sexual attraction. He got downvoted, but he didn't care. And it doesn't exist because "no one think about sex 24/7".Basically, he didn't know what he was talking about. When I told him about AVEN he basically accused everyone here for lying. Also he told me that asexuality is a sin and people who identify as asexual are spitting in God's face, it's a sin that they are fighting to not feel anything (I was like ???). I was told by some other people that asexuality is a choice or a mental disorder. 

I guess it's not weird that I was upset. 

No, it's not weird that you're upset... it's normal to be upset with ignorant jerks.  But there are so many vast numbers of ignorant jerks out there, why bother?  Just ignore that person and move on.  People like that are not worth it.

[Little Rabbit]

On 12/8/2020 at 10:20 AM, Lin G. said:

Oof as a religious asexual I hate it when people are like "you're religious no one will care if you marry or not" while we're constantly told by conservative religious people that we (esp. women) have to marry so we can establish families, raise children etc. and that women who want to succeed in work life and not raise a family will suffer and that we'll never have true happiness and that our instincts are at our homes with our husbands etc.

So no. We don't have it "easier".

I can relate. I grew up in a pretty conservative and religious environment and even though people around me have a “more liberal” point of view, it doesn’t mean that me and they all weren’t affected by it. A bit earlier in life, I would feel that having a good husband (I am a woman) is my top priority and that I should study, work and have hobbies not because I want to but in order to be more “attractive/suitable” for my future husband, which is sad now that I think about it. What is more sad is that I don’t think I will ever have the courage to admit to many of my close ones that I’m an ace because they wouldn’t understand me. I am glad that I was able to understand why studying and thinking about my future wasn’t really enjoyable then, since now I’m working in order to be happy myself. But I am still distressed because of the fact that I can’t share all of the problems that I face because of my sexuality and things related to that with the people I love and am most close to. No, I don’t find it easy to be a religious asexual and I hope that people will understand that even when you have a group you can relate to, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have problems with being alone or outcasted by others because of being “different” from them, even if it’s your family.

(Sorry, I really needed to rant about it somewhere)

[Liana]

I would just ignore them. I find that the concept of asexuality can be confusing for a fair amount of people who aren’t asexual. If they are already at “it is impossible” I just figure that anything I say will be ignored and that I’ll just be treated as if I was lying the entire time.

[Peace_of_Ace]

You just have to live your life and not worry about what a dingus like that thinks.

 

Funny enough, I thought as a teenager/young adult that people dramatized or outright lied about their sexual attraction or urges to seem cool.

[everywhere and nowhere]

On 12/13/2020 at 2:19 AM, AppleSas said:

I ignore them. If they're so appalled by how I label myself, they can use their feelings to shut up because even if we lied and it was like celibacy, it doesn't matter. Asexuality would be valid either fucking way.

That's it. Even if there is an obvious difference between choosing not to have sex despite feeling desire and not having that desire in the first place, I just don't get why would it be so important that "asexuality is not a choice!!!". Well, OK, it isn't (although I am still sure that there are people who consider themselves "asexual by choice" and I'm certainly not going to shout at them "You have no right to use the term! You must call yourself 'celibate' instead!"), but it's not the reason why it should be accepted. Asexuality is not in any way inferior, unfortunate or dysfunctional and so people who choose not to have sex for any reason deserve the same respect for their agency as people who have deeply ingrained asexual preferences.

I don't agree with ideas that some identity is more valid if it's not a choice - this is a form of disrespect for choice, for people's right to define how they want to live their lives. On the Polish asexual forum I have had people tell me that no, there is no component of will whatsoever in asexuality, but I didn't even try to say that asexuality is a choice - I wrote, indeed, that what separates "sexual dysfunctions" from effective asexuality is a pure act of will, of self-acceptance, of choosing a discourse for framing one's own experience instead of letting oneself be told by others that if you aren't a "textbook asexual", you have no right to the term and you are obligated to want to be allosexual. No. This act of will is a transition between the expert discourse of medicine and sexology towards the discourse of agency and self-determination - and in this act of will the individual becomes the master/mistress over discourse.

[Hadgr]

1 hour ago, Peace_of_Ace said:

 

Funny enough, I thought as a teenager/young adult that people dramatized or outright lied about their sexual attraction or urges to seem cool.

 

Omg, same! I thought nobody really cared about sex as much as the media portrays but it was just a cool and 'edgy' thing to talk about 🤣 

it took me until I was 20-21 to figure out that not all people were like me (which is honestly not that long ago) and yes they did actually care about sex

[PermianElle]

What I don't get is why people get personally insulted that you aren't interested in sex. I just point out that even if I am one day interested in sex, it will 100% not involve them so no matter which way I do or do not swing, it's not their business.

[Sherlocks]

On 12/8/2020 at 7:57 AM, MaggieB said:

In one place on the internet I made a post "Asexuality and aromanticism-a gift from God?" I honestly hoped that there will be normal answers, and some were normal like "Yes, because...", "No, because...", "It depends...". And of course. One guy was constantly trying to convince me, that asexuality is a made up sexuality, doesn't exist and everyone experience sexual attraction. He got downvoted, but he didn't care. And it doesn't exist because "no one think about sex 24/7".Basically, he didn't know what he was talking about. When I told him about AVEN he basically accused everyone here for lying. Also he told me that asexuality is a sin and people who identify as asexual are spitting in God's face, it's a sin that they are fighting to not feel anything (I was like ???). I was told by some other people that asexuality is a choice or a mental disorder. 

I guess it's not weird that I was upset. 

Firstly, I not sure how anyone could seriously dictate what you were into if they are NOT YOU! 

Second, I pretty sure he was trying to convince you of something so he could get at you, which is manipulative and he probably is a jerk anyways. 

Thirdy, I come from a Christian family, and the idea of "Asexuality" or lack of attraction has never been in a thing. In fact in some instances it likely is going to be encouraged since there are a lot of instances within religion where saving one self or remaining pure for the church is a demand. Christianity does often go into debates about "Homosexuality" but that is a different issue.