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Sexual girl in love with ¿asexual? man needs help, please!


Daysleeper

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Hi! I m new. I found out about Aven doing some reaserch on the net trying to understand my boyfriend´s asexuality.

Even before we start dating he said to me he had low sex drive. But He did semed to enjot sex at the beggining of our relationship, then, after 6 months we start to have less and less sex and finally we just dont do it anymore.

I started to think I was too fat or he didnt love me (I know it was silly but I didnt understand why he had change and I was so insecure). :(

I cant talk about this with him cuz it leads to argument and I end up feeling awful.

We love, respect and care for each other very much and there is no way I m gonna quit that just for sex.

That is why I would like to know: is he asexual? how other sexual partners of asexual people handle this situation?

Thanks in advance.

:wink: D.

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You may not be able to find out if he is asexual directly from the members of this forum, but browsing the forum could help you understand better.

When asexuals involved in a relationship with sexual partners are wondering how the relationship may evolve, they have little chances to anticipate because their partners might have a hard time to be totally honest, as they try to not hurt any feelings. You are in a better situation because you can try to be honest with yourself. It sounds like he has already a harder time to compromise, so you could try to answer the question: if your desires are not met, will you be able to be happy? It might come down to how important is sex to you, physiologically speaking, and hopefully you are lucky enough to know that answer. There are so many variables in a relationship that only living it will tell you for sure how it works.

The general consensus seems to be that if you are trying to get into a relationship trying or hoping to fix the other one, more often then not it will not work.

I wish you the best outcome!

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Just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean you're rejected or that the other person doesn't love you. I don't bother to date anymore, since I found it annoying (hey, but that's just me), but I noticed that guys acted like real insecure that I wasn't instantly ready to jump into bed with them. They did not seem to get it, that there was "nuthin" wrong with them, I just wasn't interested in sleeping with them. So remember, when someone doesn't want to sleep with you, it's not about you.

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I'd be very concerned that you can't discuss it with him. Any relationship where significant issues can't be discussed and worked out is doomed to failure eventually.

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Have your boyfriend look at AVEN. See if it clicks with him. And I agree that you need to be able to talk about the issue without fighting, AVEN can be good at helping with that.

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Thank you all for the feedback.

I m trying to figure out how to let him know about Aven without starting yet another big figth.

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