Coming Out to my Grandparents

[Mintstar]

Hi everyone!

I am a week away from coming out to my grandparents, and I have almost no clue on how to explain my gender to them. I know what it means for me, but I don't know if they would understand. Can someone give me some tips on how to explain that I am nonbinary? And maybe some things for my grandparents to read? I am really nervous about this.

-Caitlin

(Ignore the username, still trying to figure out how to change it)

[Acing It]

If they're not going to understand, then do you have to come out to them or are they accepting enough without you coming out? I won't ever come out to anyone in my family and no one has to. It's not something that HAS to happen. On the other hand, if it's really important to you.

If they object to the label then you can maybe explain how you feel without using a label? And then introduce a label later if/when they are accepting?

[PisceanAura]

There is a generation gap with our parents and an even bigger one with our grandparents. It doesn't mean they are bad or wrong, just that they have been programmed differently. They have hard-wired beliefs that we may not have or don't have. This is not the same as a lack of love. When I was 18 I told my grandma that the friend who kept coming by was actually my girlfriend- and I regret doing that. She did not understand. She was hard-wired with religion and other beliefs, and she believed to her core that same sex relationships were wrong because that is what she knew. That is how he was raised. She loved me but that threw a wrench in things for a lack of better terms.

 

You do you and live your best life. No one can tell you what to do, and you know your grandparents best. Just keep in mind that this generation gap does exist and proceed with caution.🙂

[Captain_Tass]

Hi @Lin Molinar. I'm nonbinary myself, and I have come out as such to only 2 people irl, both of whom are queer, and one of whom is nonbinary as well. They're both my friends and my age. I have come out as a lesbian to more people, but certainly not to everyone. My mom and one of my older cousins know, and the rest of the people who know are friends of mine. Hell, my dad doesn't know, and I don't plan on telling him for the time being.

 

My point is, you don't have to come out to anyone, because coming out is a choice, not an obligation. However, if you find that you still want to come out to your grandparents, I'll link some resources that may help you explain being nonbinary to them (in my next reply). Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

 

4 hours ago, Lin Molinar said:

(Ignore the username, still trying to figure out how to change it)

I can help you with that! On the top right hand corner of the homepage, you'll find your profile picture and your username (if you're on desktop) or three horizontal lines (if you're on mobile). Click on either your username or the lines, and you'll see an option called "account settings". Click on that and you'll see your username (written as display name) and a button that says "change". Click on that, set your new username, and you're done!