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can i really be aegosexual? what even is sexual attraction?


chrysalism

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i've been questioning whether i'm just asexual or also aegosexual for a while. i've identified as ace for two years, but now i'm reevaluating some things, and.

 

there's something there, sometimes. so i read descriptions of aegosexuality and most of it sounds like it could be me; to be honest, by now the only thing that's stopping me from taking up that label is that i just can't tell if what i'm feeling is actual sexual attraction or something else. everything i read boils down to sexual attraction feeling like you want to have sex with that person, but that doesn't feel like it describes what i'm feeling. but at the same time, i do feel like this thing has a sexual component to it; it tends to be directed, even. maybe it is sexual attraction, and it feels like that to me because i think i'm probably mildly sex repulsed when it comes to myself? does that make sense? or is that just exactly the definition of aegosexuality, where i am sexually attracted but that attraction doesn't make me want to have sex with people? is it that simple? was it just staring me in the face the entire time?

 

this is confusing.

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Hii

'Aegosexual' doesn't have to do with sexual attraction (or very little), but arousal from something, which can lead to pleasing yourself.
It's a term considered to be on the asexual spectrum, and some consider themselves both aegosexual  and asexual if they never actually desire sex with a person from the arousal.

 

So yes, I think it was simple 😜

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Ps- most people on this site don't think of it to be strictly sexual attraction so long as it doesn't draw you to want sexual things with the person.

 

So, what you feel might just be considered arousal by most here.

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11 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

'Aegosexual' doesn't have to do with sexual attraction (or very little), but arousal from something, which can lead to pleasing yourself.

oh.

yeah, alright, that's it then

thank you!!

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Anegosexual is when you don't mind fantasising about sex, usually 2 characters - not yourself. But even thought you might like the idea of others having sex in a fantasy you don't want to have sex in real life. I kind of feel that way myself.

 

I find sexual attraction difficult to describe also. I mean I do feel some sort of attraction to some people occasionally. Maybe i like the way they look or their personality. I might feel nervous around them and maybe wish to be close to them ??  I dont know if that is what sexual attraction is?? I don't think to myself "I want to have sex with them" but occasionally i may feel some arousal you might call it, like just from my body. But I dont fantasise about having sex with them. My fantasies are just imagined characters or maybe they resemble celebrities. I think even if you do feel aroused by someone or attracted what makes you asexual or not is whether your feelings actually lead you to desiring sex with that person ???   But yes its really difficult to understand you own feelings sometimes.

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