LilianOD Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Ok. This is going to be an embarrassing post but I need answers haha. What am I? I like boys and girls equally, so I always thought I was bisexual. I enjoy holding hands, hugging, etc. I don’t mind physical behavior (most of the time... sometimes there are times where I don’t want to be touched but I think that’s normal) with friends. Now, to be fair, I haven’t actually been in a relationship before. I’ve only had friends, but nothing really more. This is where I start to question things. I enjoy reading/watching erotica, I masturbate quite often, and I’ve always fantasied doing sexual things with people. Yet, every time I think of myself in that position or find myself in that position (such as talking about it with someone I’m interested in), I find myself to get extremely uncomfortable/awkward and want to immediately stop talking about it. I don’t know what this is exactly. I crave sex and wouldn’t mind doing the act with someone I trust, but I also don’t want to? Is someone in a similar position as me? I feel so awkward about this. Thank you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Hi. Well, there's people who are similar on this site, but Iit feels like you're a bit at odds with your feelings. Maybe you have some discomfort around actual sex, or maybe you're on the ace spectrum somewhere too. You'd be at the very least biromantic. As far as your sexuality, I guess you have to keep exploring to see if you actually want sex, or if it's an idea/fantasy that you have and that actual sex isn't something you're interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Welcome! Hmm, the best you can do is to explore why are you feeling this way towards you being involved in sex. It could be the case of Autochorissexuality, where you don't care or wouldn't like to personally connect with someone sexually (and this is not bothering you), or it could be the case of sexual who fears intimacy, where you desire to connect with someone in a sexual way, but something is keeping you from doing it (like shame, fear of something etc.). A telltale of the second case would be that it is bothering you or you feel negatively about it. Keep in mind that is up to you to identify in either way and once you choose to label yourself in someway, it doesn't have to be forever, it is just for as long as you feel comfortable that way. Later it's okay to change, as you could encounter new experiences or because of fluctuations in sexuality. Good luck! Also, have some 'welcome' cake Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Georgi said: A telltale of the second case would be that it is bothering you or you feel negatively about it. I wouldn't say that it always works. Some asexuals may be distressed about their lack of desire because all their life they have been brainwashed to believe that sex is the ultimate pleasure and that nobody can not like and not desire it. Getting rid of such a mental burden requires some critical thinking: an ability to recognise that science may be biased, to put one's own personal experience above science... Link to post Share on other sites
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