SeekingHeart Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 I've been in my relationship for about a year now and have only recently discovered I am both asexual and aromantic. If I was just asexual I feel like it would be fine, but being aromantic is causing a disconnect in our relationship. He wants to be cuddly and kiss and be with me every second he can get, whereas doing all that is extremely tiring for me and its wearing on me. Whenever I try and take a lot of time to myself or not cuddle and such, he's always asking if we can cuddle more/if i can give him more support. We both love each other so much, but I'm really only happy if the relationship is more like a friendship, just hanging out and not cuddling or being romantic at all. He seems to be the opposite, only really happy when there is a more romantic aspect. What should i do?? Is there a way to make it work? Does anyone have any advice?? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 Breaking off the relationship seems to be the only thing I can think of. You want a friendship and he wants romance. It seems like your boyfriend needs actual romance/romantic feeling you I'm afraid. It might be best to let him go so he can have that with someone so you can also just enjoy a friendship with him as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 Moved to Asexual Relationships Janus DarkFox Weekend Cover Asexual Relationships, Current Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 If you really want this to work, you will have to come up with a good compromise for how much he could be 'superromantic' and how much you could you accept. I think it would be also good to take a look into attachement styles theory and five languages of love (and why not, other things as well) to manage to find some common ground. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
morshmallow Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 I think it depends on how much you want to keep dating this specific guy, and how uncomfortable the romantic stuff makes you. If it is bad enough to ruin the relationship for you, then you should end it. Link to post Share on other sites
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