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How Hard is it for you to Say Sorry?


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57 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

Saying sorry sincerely

That's what I meant. The word itself is sorry. The genuine apology, is incredibly difficult for most to do, as it requires you acknowledging that you for whatever reason, weren't up to standard. Very humbling. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
WoodwindWhistler

They say that women over-apologize, and men have trouble apologizing. 

By that measure, I am definitely trans masculine :P

I like to think I'm not dick-ish, and def not IRL, but people online tell me otherwise. 

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i’ll say sorry if i believe i’m the one at fault. and if i don’t believe i’m the one at fault i’ll talk myself until i believe i’m the one at fault so i can apologize :DD

or, i’ve been taught that anger is bad :(( so when i feel angry at someone for what they did, i will inevitably choose to degrade myself instead so i stop feeling angry (and start feeling incredibly guilty, which makes saying sorry simultaneously the most difficult and easiest thing in the world). i have a much harder time forgiving people for a similar reason — to forgive someone is to acknowledge that my anger is justified when i’ve been taught that anger is bad.

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16 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

They say that women over-apologize, and men have trouble apologizing. 

I am sure that poll didn't factor in Canada o_O

 

We would apologize to the US for our border being in the way if we could. 

 

I still remember the contrast.

Landing at Toronto Pearson. Passenger goes past the clearly marked line and pointed to instructions. Staff approach him, apologize and then ask him to stand behind the line. You know. The Canadian way. 

 

I then land in at Newark Airport. Similar situation of a passenger moving past barricade straps which clearly direct him. 

 

Employee out of nowhere launches at him, and almost yells at him to get "Behind the sign!" (and wait to be called by security staff).

 

I just laughed at the dramatic difference just an hour flight will make.

 

For me it truly depends. If I don't like you, its like pulling teeth to get me showing any vulnerability, including an apology.

 

Otherwise I probably over do it. 

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  • 4 months later...

I say it all the time, even when it isn't may fault. Idk, most of the time its a reactionary word choice.

 

Now do I actually mean it when I say I am sorry?...........................Depends.

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If I'm genuinely sorry, easy. If I'm not sorry, hard as hell haha.

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Siimo van der fietspad

'Sorry' is a meaningless word in British English. This is firstly because it's used as a way of getting someone's attention, but also because it's incredibly insincere and the expectation is that it will be a get out of jail card. The British behave like monsters under their veneer of politeness and often aren't sorry for anything, ever.

 

I try to say 'apologies' instead in order to avoid this.

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51 minutes ago, Siimo van der fietspad said:

 The British behave like monsters under their veneer of politeness and often aren't sorry for anything, ever.

Oh no we've been found out.

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8 hours ago, theV0ID said:
9 hours ago, Siimo van der fietspad said:

 The British behave like monsters under their veneer of politeness and often aren't sorry for anything, ever.

Oh no we've been found out.

Lol just had a convo with Telecaster about this on the phone the other day. I was on about how 'sorry' is basically our National Thing as Canadians (not new information to him) and he mentioned that Brits say it often enough as well (and that was not new information to me), but that he's rarely actually sorry for bugger all. And I admitted that the same is usually true for me as well despite my nationality. Oops.

 

I can't really speak for other Canadians, but... I'm not that nice lol.

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Mental health can really affect this... I apologize for almost everything, even when I had nothing to do with it, and just want to not get blamed and run away.

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39 minutes ago, Zagadka said:

Mental health can really affect this... I apologize for almost everything, even when I had nothing to do with it, and just want to not get blamed and run away.

Yeah, kind of same. I am better about it these days, but I had to work on not just compulsively apologizing all the time.

 

I mean, I guess on the upside, it means I don't have a hard time apologizing, when I actually need to. But apologizing even when you shouldn't is a problem of its own.

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On 11/24/2020 at 11:30 AM, Raindrops said:

I say sorry pretty easily, unless I genuinely believe I'm correct. Then I can give a fake apology if absolutely necessary. 🙃 I was taught to say sorry a lot as a kid, so.

Wow!

I use to apologies a lot as a child; I even find myself saying it a lot as an adult.

I relate to this!

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I rarely say I'm sorry. If I mess up I just suck up the guilt and try better next time. The word doesn't mean much to me. I just say it when I think it makes the other person feel better, the likeliness of which I possibly underestimate.

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On 12/5/2020 at 3:12 AM, comrade cyan said:

i’ll say sorry if i believe i’m the one at fault. and if i don’t believe i’m the one at fault i’ll talk myself until i believe i’m the one at fault so i can apologize :DD

or, i’ve been taught that anger is bad :(( so when i feel angry at someone for what they did, i will inevitably choose to degrade myself instead so i stop feeling angry (and start feeling incredibly guilty, which makes saying sorry simultaneously the most difficult and easiest thing in the world). i have a much harder time forgiving people for a similar reason — to forgive someone is to acknowledge that my anger is justified when i’ve been taught that anger is bad.

Yeah! I do this, too!

 

It seems easier to just take on the blame, instead of someone else having to.

It's a big hassle when ever some one goes a mile and a have to say how it's your fault and not theirs; It's MUCH easier to say "I'm sorry, it was me", and just leave it there.

 

Plus, I don't wanna seem arrogant; I don't wanna come across as the kind of person that think they can never make a mistake, ya know, the obnoxious type.

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9 minutes ago, SpadeHood said:

It seems easier to just take on the blame, instead of someone else having to.

I get that... I have a combo of not wanting to argue or explain or conflict, and feeling bad seeing other people suffer...

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I apologize more than I should probably.   I am a people pleaser and a conflict avoider so I will often say sorry just to keep the peace.  Unfortunately, I have taken it too far and have apologized for just existing.  Something I am learning that I don’t have to do.🙂

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I've been told that I'm bad at apologies, and I probably am. It's very easy to say "sorry" for me, but much harder to "truly mean it". Perhaps I'm the minority here, but I don't believe that apologizing means anything. My view is that "sorry" (and any other apology ) is an admission of either fault or remorse, nothing more. I don't believe that saying "sorry" makes anything better in regards to a wrong that has been done. 

 

If I tell you that I am sorry in reference to something I did, that is my way of admitting fault. In fact, I probably apologize for too many things. Nothing about me saying it means that I've any intention of restitution or remediation, because those things are not dependent on an apology.

 

To use legal jargon: An apology is me pleading "nolo contendere". After saying sorry, I will either right the wrong or I won't. I may still right the wrong without apologizing as well, because the two things are not co-requisite for me. 

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On 4/12/2021 at 4:22 PM, NewStart said:

I apologize more than I should probably.   I am a people pleaser and a conflict avoider so I will often say sorry just to keep the peace.  Unfortunately, I have taken it too far and have apologized for just existing.  Something I am learning that I don’t have to do.🙂

Yeah, It's hard to untrain yourself, after YEARS of apologizing for your existence.

I feel like I'm in the same direction, too!

It's hard, but eventually we'll stop doing it! ^_^

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