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Should I change my name?


Spark_TheDemiboyRat

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Spark_TheDemiboyRat

Okay so I recently discovered that I am nonbinary, and I was wondering if I should change my name. If you were wondering, my name is Eva (pronounced Ava) and I'm not really sure if I should change it. I mean, I would be okay with keeping it or changing it, but I don't know if it would change people's first impression. Like if the heard my current name, would they assume that I am a girl, or feminine. I dont want people assuming that I'm a female, I would much rather have someone ask my gender, or in my case what to call me. And if you do think I should change my name, do you have any suggestions?

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I wouldn't ask someone about their gender personally. it seems rude and hardly something that should concern me or how I should treat anyone. That said, you should choose what makes you feel good and allow yourself the flexibility to feel any way you wish, on any given day. 

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29 minutes ago, Confused Artist said:

change my name.

Legally or just as a casual change?

My trans friend is in the middle of changing his name legally, it's taken almost 2 months. It's a long process.

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I'm super weird for a trans person in that I don't really get the changing their name thing. I instead try to view names as gender neutral as possible when I'm interacting and referring to people I don't know. I've heard of cisgender people being extremely offended when someone asks what their gender is or guesses incorrectly (the hypocrisies of cisgender people sometimes...) so I always feel awkward when asking, like Abigail Rose. For me, when guessing someone's gender while in conversation (especially in public), the way they present themselves are much bigger indicators to me for their gender, rather than their name. Their clothes, mannerisms, vocab, etc.

 

I'd guess the best way for people to see you as nonbinary is for you to introduce yourself including your pronouns. "Hi! My name is Eva and my pronouns are they/them." Or, you can try out pronoun/nonbinary themed buttons as a more subtle way. People who know about gender stuff will probably catch on. People that aren't might need to be told directly.

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I went through the name change process - not fun. It might depend on your state/country, but mine took months. However, it was definitely affirming and exciting  to see my new legal name on my birth certificate! 

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MakeupJunkie4

I tend to think names can be neutral. Even in the days of Old Hollywood, there were actresses with neutral or masculine names (such as Gene Tierney or Cyd Charisse). A lot of former "boy" names are now "girl" names (such as Ashley), and more of them are gender neutral (like Channing). It's more of a personal thing IMO - if you like your name, keep it! :) If you'd like a different name, go for it! :) 

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I like using Sen online and w/ friends but idk if I would ever change my actual name legally 😕 long process.  I have been thinking of other names that are kinda similar to my IRL one tho, just in case.

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Personally, I've just gave one of my names a more neutral form (Georgi from Georgiana, but which could come from George as well). However, I am not out to anyone with my gender identity and in the real world I don't mind people using my other feminine name (with which I usually present myself because all of my acquaintances know me by that name and it is easier for foreigners to memorize it). 

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If possible, maybe you could have a few close friends call you by a different name to see how it feels? I recently had a few of my friends start calling me by a different name and after seeing it used several times I started to realize how much I liked it. And I've never really disliked my birth name, either, so that was one of the things that made me question whether or not I should even bother going by a different name. You might not know what the right name is until you've tried another one out to see if it feels good to you or not.

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Spark_TheDemiboyRat
10 hours ago, United Pizza 149 said:

If possible, maybe you could have a few close friends call you by a different name to see how it feels? I recently had a few of my friends start calling me by a different name and after seeing it used several times I started to realize how much I liked it. And I've never really disliked my birth name, either, so that was one of the things that made me question whether or not I should even bother going by a different name. You might not know what the right name is until you've tried another one out to see if it feels good to you or not.

That's what I was thinking about doing. I'm going to ask one of my really close friend to call me by a different name. If I like it, I like it. Even if I do get other people start to call me by the new name, I think I'll always have my family call me by the name I was assigned at birth, because that's where it seems to fit best.

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