A Clarification

[kuamra]

Hello!

 

I'm new here, but I'll keep it concise, so as to not just be a long winded "unsure" thread.

 

I've never seen any person, and thought "I'd like to have sex with them," as well as having known for a while that I'm okay with being in a close relationship with no sex, which seem to more or less fit the broad idea of asexuality, but I do have a loose end.

 

Where does the line fall between sexual attraction to someone, and just activated sexual energy due to stimulatory implication? Like I said, I don't ever have a need to have sex with a particular someone when I see them, but my arousal due to erotic/suggestive imagery/sounds/etc is entirely possible. Issue is, it mainly stems from what it means (that is, incoming physical pleasure), and not so much because x person is there.

 

I'm aware of aegosexuality, but I'm not too sure on it, it doesn't seem entirely...right, for some undefined reason (also I wouldn't really ever bring this specific distinction up to people anyway, so I don't really intend on bothering finding the exact microlabel, just the overarching one).

 

In hindsight, this seems somewhat obvious, but I'd still appreciate an outside perspective, just in case.

[Guest]

14 minutes ago, armauk said:

Where does the line fall between sexual attraction to someone, and just activated sexual energy due to stimulatory implication?

When it comes to identifying the difference between sexuality and asexuality, sexual attraction is the desire to connect on a sexual level with another person. 

 

We make that distinction because there are actually aces who can become aroused from looking at an attractive person, and there are sexual people who don't get aroused by appearance at all and have never wanted sex with someone just from seeing them!! However what separates the two is that a sexual person still desires sexual intimacy under some circumstances, and an asexual never has an innate desire to connect sexually with others even if they find a person very attractive

 

I guess by 'activated sexual energy' you mean like arousal in response to stimulation? Some asexuals do have that happen, but the difference for them is that it doesn't lead them to actively desire sexual intimacy. They'd be just as happy to go an watch a movie or just masturbate, but may still engage in the sex for the sake of their partner (or to have a baby or for any number of external reasons). Whereas for a sexual person that arousal will under some circumstances be leading them to actively desire sexual intimacy with the person who is making them aroused. 

 

I'm really tired so maybe misunderstood your question though sorry!!

[kuamra]

Oh, no, you got it!

 

From what I gather, the defining factor is the resulting action--that is, even if arousal happens, it doesn't become a need directed at that person (say, a husband is aroused by his wife in a particular instance, but could go either way on satisfying it with her or not, and be fine). Am I getting that right?

[Howard]

You got it right. I do get sexualy aroused, though less and less often with age. I find it easier to ''release'' sexual energy through masturbation than partnered sex. As such, I have no interest in partnered sex. I once was told that it was easy to get off with partnered sex with clitoral stimulation but I don't have a clitoris 😢.

[kuamra]

Hmm, I see. I do actually seem to fit the description then, as it were. It seemed like a bit of a fine line, but it's clear there's a significant difference here, upon further inspection. Thanks for both of your inputs! ☺️