Rynn Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 So I got this in my recommendations, and though I've (intentionally) never watched Kalvin Garrah's videos, it still hit me right in the feels. At least half of the reason for that is all the people in the comments relating to Brennen's experiences, and expressing how they've grown past the 'transtrender' mindset. To me, this shows that we're finally starting to collectively be ready to move past the wave of nonbinary hate that for years made so many of us hate ourselves and closet ourselves and distance ourselves from each other because we didn't feel 'trans enough.' I was not an exception. Despite my best efforts to fight it, it still got internalized and it did a hell of a lot of damage. To be honest it's still doing damage now. I cried a lot watching this, but in a good way, and I guess I wanted to share this because I hope it can help other people disentangle their internalized transphobia too. It feels like closure. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Wow! This hit me hard... I was aware to certain extent that there are some exclusionists in every minority, but as I am new to the whole gender identity thing, I had no idea how far this could get. However, I also learned so many new things from this video and it help me reinforce in myself the idea that I am enough the way I am and that I don't have to fill in a check up list to identify as something. Thanks for sharing! Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Can relate to this and the fear that someone out there will and still deny and erase the unique and very personal gender experiences. My own personal fears totally left the building once my own existence is validated in the doctors that explained it for and from my own descriptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Trying to police how people are allowed to feel and identify is idiotic. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Oh yeah non-binary had always been a bit set out in the trans movement, at least in the past. There might be a few remnants, but we have enough to deal with in terms of how cis people think of trans in general, we shouldn't be in fighting, we all want to be accepted for who we are. I used to identify as androgyne, because I had trouble accepting how strongly my female identity is in me, maybe I was a bit in denial of being a trans woman, so I did experience some of the nb being a little bit the 'freaks', though I do think that's significantly changed for the better, .. maybe in some places the binary trans people maybe hang out more among themselves. At this point though nb is here to stay, so hopefully everyone keeps up. I thought it was cool how many nb people are on this site, I like the diversity. Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 I find videos like this so very painful to watch, to even think about. I'm not surprised by them, as I've seen the same lack of empathy and naricissism displayed ever since the internet allowed trans people to come out of the shadows and try to find some fellowship. When I almost died in a hospital of the same thing that forever put a flaming sword across my path to the trans Garden of Eden, I felt abandoned because I had to make choices for survivial that didn't meet the narratives that were being laid down in stone. Then, as now, some of the same people who would 'lead' the 'community' treated me like the victim in the story of the Good Samaratin. even as they were saying " Because of us, you never need to feel alone". But did they come to see me in the hospital? Did they call me up during my long and painful recovery? When it looked like I might make it after having had surgery on my brain, did they become my friends? Good guess. Sometimes I find it more painful than I can almost bear when I'm told by my psychiatrist that part of my diagnosis is that I have a deep seated fear of abandonment? Really?? How could one NOT feel this way when time after time it happens, just because something beyond my control befell me and that I don't want to take the chance that I'll pop a clot and die horribly. The real shame is that there are still Good Samaratins out there, but their empathy is lost like a songbird's music on a busy airport's runway. Worse, they have to worry about getting sucked into the jet engines of You Tube monetization. Quote Take me home, Country Roads.... to the place where I belong.. --John Denver Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 I’m glad it’s finally growing outdated. It’s not only about non-binary folks. Those people also think there is only one right way to be binary trans. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 3 hours ago, Emery. said: I’m glad it’s finally growing outdated. It’s not only about non-binary folks. Those people also think there is only one right way to be binary trans. Honestly, I think that the idea that there's a single "correct" way to be a man or woman is just as damaging to cisgender people as it is to trans folks. Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted November 16, 2020 Author Share Posted November 16, 2020 3 hours ago, Karst said: Honestly, I think that the idea that there's a single "correct" way to be a man or woman is just as damaging to cisgender people as it is to trans folks. I think it's definitely damaging to cis folks as well as to trans folks, but I don't think it's to the same degree. I think mental health statistics of trans folks would be a lot more positive if we didn't have this idea of a perfect and rigid gender binary, and I don't think it would make as much of a difference for the statistics of cis folks. On AVEN I can't really express the degree to which I've been affected, but just assume it's REAL bad. I don't see the same thing in any of the cis people I know, not by far. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 There's a part 2. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 On 11/26/2020 at 8:56 PM, MichaelTannock said: There's a part 2. I didn't think I would go through with the entire video, but the thinks he* said are mind-blowing and not only in what concerns the transgender community, but also in what concerns the social mechanism and how our society is built. *later edit. I'm sorry for the misgendering. Link to post Share on other sites
vmdraco Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 11/26/2020 at 5:09 PM, Georgi said: I didn't think I would go through with the entire video, but the thinks she said are mind-blowing and not only in what concerns the transgender community, but also in what concerns the social mechanism and how our society is built. Hey so Brennan uses he/they, not she/her. I believe he addressed this in the previous part, or described himself as transmasc Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 8 hours ago, vmdraco said: Hey so Brennan uses he/they, not she/her. I believe he addressed this in the previous part, or described himself as transmasc Oh, I am so sorry, I am still still trying to unlearn the binarism and all the gendered things and sometimes I really don't observe it. It was really not my intention! Once again I am really sorry! And thank you for pointing out to me! Link to post Share on other sites
vmdraco Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 11 hours ago, Georgi said: Oh, I am so sorry, I am still still trying to unlearn the binarism and all the gendered things and sometimes I really don't observe it. It was really not my intention! Once again I am really sorry! And thank you for pointing out to me! Yeah no worries it's cool, just letting you know Link to post Share on other sites
chris_error Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 . Link to post Share on other sites
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