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Who should you come out to first?


SunlitMoonlight

Who should you come out to first? Why?  

72 members have voted

  1. 1. Who should you come out to first?

    • Parents
      3
    • Siblings or other relatives
      1
    • Close Friends
      46
    • Regular Friends
      1
    • Acquaintances
      0
    • Coworkers
      0
    • Complete strangers
      5
    • Other(respond below)
      16

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SunlitMoonlight

Why do you think so?

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Oberon Jasper

Parents wouldn't really be supportive. Same with family. Really... my close friends are about the only option. 😕 

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Purple Red Panda

Whoever you feel most comfortable in coming out first to.

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SmaugtheDragon

I came out to friends first because I trust them be more supportive. Also, if they're not, it is easier to cut a close friend out of your life than family, especially if you live with family members, or you are dependent on them for anything.

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The only one who needs to know is a (potential) partner.

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I can only answer hypothetically as I haven't 'come out' to anyone yet - but if I do it it'll be one to of my closest friends. Mostly because I'd feel the most comfortable telling them. However, just because that's the case for me, it won't be for everyone else, and that's why I agree that you should come out first to the person you believe will be the most supportive, although the only person who really needs to know is a (potential) partner.

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the Asexual report/survey shows that almost 50% of aces come out to close friends and/or parents first. I do not feel comfortable about my parents knowing, but my sister know and my closest friends

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Oberon Jasper

@FJO8

I love your quote. That's beautiful.

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DarkStormyKnight

Close friends for sure, imo they're the people most likely to react positively and accept you as you are.

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I chose other because IMHO it depends on whom you feel safe with. Could be parents, could be friends, could be a best friend, could be a teacher or co-worker or whatever. Could be a complete stranger in a rainbow-friendly environment (like Pride or something). I don't think there's a one-way-fits-all answer to this question.

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No one but yourself. It might be nice if your potential partner knows as well, but otherwise people don't really have to know? 

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There is no should. It’s a completely personal and individual choice if, when, how, and to whom you come out.

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Come out to? Not sure. Haven't done it yet (for sexuality, romantic orientation or gender)

 

Be out to? Random strangers on the internet definitely. Especially communities who you know will be supportive.

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To me there's no specific answer, it depends on the individual and their circumstances. Sometimes your hand is forced, either by a potential relationship issue, or parental pressure as to why you're not dating. 

Ideally you should be able to broach the subject with others you know will be accepting, say friends, an LGBT+ group at school / college / work etc. 

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Not that I have any experience, but I'd say friends. Unless you have a particularly supportive family, it's just the safer option.

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Come out to yourself first.

 

After that, it really depends. I came out to my ex best friend first because I felt most comfortable telling him. Then it was my closer friends, and I've been out on my social media for like 7 months now but still haven't come out to my parents because they're rainbowphobic and I wanted to wait until I was away at university (which I am now) and until I get on T.

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I think coming out to friends is a safer way to go. If it doesn't go over well, at least you don't have to live with them or depend on them. It is also a good test to see how you want to come out to other people. If coming out to a friend goes well, then it feels great. 

Coming out to parents/family is a more delicate matter. While their support is really important, their rejection can be far more damaging since you have to interact/live with them. I also think families are more invested in your romantic relationships, which might make them more likely to reject you or be upset by the news.

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Probably close friends would be best. Not exactly sure why. Especially because I didn’t go that route. I told my parent first. Probably because she’s also LGBTQ+, she’s my only parent now, and I just felt more comfortable with her. I didn’t (still don’t) really have that many close friends. 

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I think it depends on what you're coming out as. It also would depend on trust and how independent you are. A person that can support themselves would have a lot more capability of taking care of themselves if they came out and didn't get support. I haven't come out to many people as anything they couldn't see by just looking at me. If they can't tell then why do they need to know?

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You should first come out to the person you trust most and know will support you. Whether that's a parent, other relative, partner, sibling, friend etc doesn't matter. Whoever is the closest to you :cake:

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  • 1 month later...

I picked complete stranger because I think a lgbtq+ (who you're sure support your sexuality) friendly platform can help to get some support, when the other one can lead to deception.

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Blue eyes white dragon

People that you can trust, will at least be respectful, and actually like

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I haven't come out to anyone yet, but I chose close friend because I have talked to one of my close friends about being in the closet and trying to figure out who I am. He is very supportive (and part of the LGBTQ+ community), so he understands what I am going through. Although he is 4 years younger than me, I have been looking up to him through my journey and know he will be the first one I come out to when I am ready. As @korik said, I think someone should first come out to whomever will be the most supportive and understanding. I know I will eventually come out to my parents, but I don't think they know what asexuality and aromanticism are, so it will be a lot of explaining, which I am not ready to do yet lol.

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  • 10 months later...

@SunlitMoonlight

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organisation, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

  

iff, Census Forum Moderator

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