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why hating sex is fun


(SP)

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i dunno...

*jumps & lands ass first onto one of the couch cushions*

CRACK/SQUISH!!!!!!!!!

:o :shock: :? :oops:

*jumps off & lifts cushion*

:shock: :shock: :shock:

uh......... :oops:

julie: *snort* :lol:

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HEY!!

You guys know what I heard today at schoooooool?

*everyone turns to look*

This kid told me about something called 'sects' and it's how babies are made, but it sounded stoopid! Wanna hear about it? You're not gonna bah-

LEEVE it!

Cate

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THEN WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SIT ON?!?! :o :shock: :? :x :evil:

*squints at the mess on the couch for a better look*

OH, SHIT!!! IT'S WEE MAN!!!!!!!!! (if you ever saw jackass, you'd understand what i'm referring to)

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YOU SMOOSHED an OOMPA!!

Don't you know whenever you do that a sexual has a pregnancy scare?!

*arches eyebrow*

*holds down an Oompa like Lucy holding a football for Charlie Brown*

Go for it, Aury!

Cate

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YOU SMOOSHED an OOMPA!!

I believe that's a hate crime. Don't ask me, ask the International Oompa Loompa Network website, which says, and I quote:

Because of this, Oompa Loompas are often mistreated and discriminated against. They are often made fun of, denied jobs, beaten up on the street, denied certain benefits such as health care, denied suffrage, and are just plain not recognized as real people with feelings.

Yes, Oompa Loompas are very different than normal human beings, but they are still real live people that deserve the same rights, freedoms, and liberties that all individuals should have.

*giggle*

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*exagerrated, sarcastic scared voice*

Ooooooooh, Dave!

I'm, like, SO SCARED of the Oompa Network.

They're ORANGE and must be STOPPED!

With their infectious songs that you can't get out of your head!

*holds down another for Aury*

Besides, it's fun to know some sexuals somewhere are going, 'Oh, please, God, DON'T let me be pregnant!'

Cate

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WHA?

ARRRGH! *chases after the Julie making random happy sounds like kids do*

waggawaggawaggabwopbwopbwopoogaoogaoogga

*Pounces on the Julie*

Pounce! I pounced you!

*pokes Julie in her sides with alternating hands*

left! right! left! right!

Cate

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*expands back into full-sized adult dave for a moment*

*drinks shot from official Oompa Loompa shotglass, as purchased on the Internet (this is real): :?: :roll: :?:

shotglass.gif

*shrinks back down into li'l size dave*

*pounces on julie and cate*

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Ah! Oo! Ah! Oo! Ah! Oo! *glare* AH!

*beat* You're pretty.

*manages to roll Cate over and sit on her* Bwahaha.

*giggles at Aury* She funny.

EDIT: AGH! *bats at Dave while still pinning Cate*

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AAAAAH!!

That's so WRONG!!!

Blargh!

*dives under blanky with Julie*

HEY! What's a cutie pie like you doing in a place like this?

Cate

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I NOT purty! Shut UP!

*poke poke*

*tackle snuggles*

Aury is funny! :D

Cate

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Wuh huh? Aury? Y'okay?

*shoots a look back at the attacking Cate* Yes, you ARE, so YOU shaddup. *yanks up her shirt to give her raspberries*

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AAAAAH!

Stomach zerberts!

That's IT, young lady! *drags her into blanket tent*

*hysterical giggles and shrieks*

Cate

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*doesn't understand the turtle thing but joins in anyhow*

turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle

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*stops tickling Julie*

S'okay, Dave, Jules and I don't understand the turtle thing, either.

*resumes tickling Julie*

Cate

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WAHOO! Hey, Cate. Cate. Cate. Hey. Cate. Catecatecatecate Catie Cate Cate! :D Say we never gotta grow up. I like being this way. *stretches out on toppa Cate*

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Oh NO! I'm an amoeba now!

*goes off to the restroom, where i divide in two*

*returns as two li'l daves of the asexually reproducing variety*

*tickle-attacks the blanket hideaway*

EDIT: All together now:

I WON'T GROW UP

I WON'T GROW UP

(repeat)

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aury's paintbrush not working, so you have to visualize this...

turtle: shy aury peeking head out from under blankey, then sticking head back in when something happens.

i'm good. thanks for asking.

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WHAAAA

*giggles manically*

Yes, Julie! We don't ever haveta grow up if you don't want! It'll be chocolate and chaos every day!

And jim jams! Everyone can wear jim jams all the time!

Weeeee!

*enjoys the tickles from Dave*

Cate

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No more tickles! *swats at the two Daves and Cate* My face hurts from laughin'. Hoo. *pants, sighs*

*glances mischieviously at Aury*

*sings softly, but loud enough so as to be heard* Aury smells, she is so smelly. Smelly Aury smells so bad...

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