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QuestioningSelf

Am I Asexual?

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QuestioningSelf

I’m in my late 20s, female. I’ve always found guys good looking but never in a sexual way that would turn me on and it’s kinda been a slow realisation for me that some girls can actually get turned on just by someone’s appearance. 
 

I love affection, cuddles, kisses and everything that comes with a romantic relationship, but when it comes to sex nothing gets me in the mood apart from if I’m being directly touched, not even kissing.

 

I wouldn’t say I dislike sex, but for me it’s more about pleasing my partner and satisfying their needs than gaining pleasure myself. I don’t really feel the itch or need to have sex and can go for a long time without it. 
 

does this make me Asexual?

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Gem Supker

You sound asexual to me! Aesthetic attraction is entirely separate from sexual attraction. Asexuality does not require sex-repulsion, though some aces like myself are. Sounds like you might be sex-positive or sex-indifferent asexual to me. Welcome! ♠🍰

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QuestioningSelf
4 minutes ago, Gem Supker said:

You sound asexual to me! Aesthetic attraction is entirely separate from sexual attraction. Asexuality does not require sex-repulsion, though some aces like myself are. Sounds like you might be sex-positive or sex-indifferent asexual to me. Welcome! ♠🍰

Interesting. Thank you! I’ve always wondered why I can’t answer the question “what turns you on?” 🙃 unfortunately because I desire to have a close romantic relationship and hate being single, I probably won’t ever disclose that I believe I am asexual to my boyfriend 👎🏼

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Gem Supker

No worries. The label is yours to use or not, to be out with or keep in the closet. Just remember your experiences and feelings are real and you are not alone. I wish you all the best!

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Marsa
58 minutes ago, QuestioningSelf said:

I love affection, cuddles, kisses and everything that comes with a romantic relationship, but when it comes to sex nothing gets me in the mood apart from if I’m being directly touched, not even kissing.

To me this sounds like you might just experience mainly responsive desire. Emily Nagoski wrote a book 'Come As You Are' talking about it, among other things, that you might find interesting to look into. 

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