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Pre-Marital Sex


Niemand

Have you had/are you planning to have pre-marital sex?  

  1. 1.

    • Asexual, have had/are planning to have it
      42
    • Asexual, planning to wait until marriage
      19
    • Asexual, planning to never have it
      96
    • Sexual, have had/are planning to have it
      9
    • Sexual, planning to wait until marriage
      2
    • Asexual, not planning either way
      38
    • Sexual, not planning either way
      0
    • Other--PLEASE EXPLAIN
      11

This poll is closed to new votes


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AnoymousCanuck

I am *apparently* asexual, still trying to figure out how I want to identify myself.

I'm not necessarily planning on waiting untill marriage because I don't see anything particularly special about marriage that makes sexual relationships acceptable after and not before, but I am definitely planning on waiting a good long time before I decide to attempt to have sex with a guy, I don't want to rush it because I want to make sure we have a good strong foundation and that if I'm with a sexual guy he's not going to decide I'm a walking vagina.

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I said "Asexual, not planning on having it," not because of the "pre-marital" designation, but because it's sex. I don't want sex. Ever. Don't care if it's in or outside of marriage. *Maybe* I'll be willing to do it for someone if I ever find a guy I love enough to consider doing such things, but it won't be because I want to have sex. It'll be because I love him enough to be willing to make that kind of sacrifice for him.

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I don't want to rush it because I want to make sure we have a good strong foundation and that if I'm with a sexual guy he's not going to decide I'm a walking vagina.

:lol: :lol: Well put. :D

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  • 8 months later...
  • 1 month later...

Asexual, and not planning on having it.

I don't mind if other people want to do something like that before their married (marriage isn't the biggest deal ever to me--if people want to go ahead with it, good for them. But I don't think their relationship is any less valid just because they haven't went through a ceremony), but I'm just not planning on having sex at all. Ever.

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Wings of a Dream

In the extremely unlikely scenario that I married a sexual person, I would definitely say no sex before marriage.

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I chose "Asexual, planning to wait until marriage" not because I'm specifically planning to have sex at any point, but because if I do, it's not going to be outside of marriage. But that's not related to me being an asexual, that's just my personal and religious beliefs.

And that's not saying I'm not going to be a virgin for life. I'm not "planning" on ever getting married. At this point in my life I've been leaning more to aromantic, but I'm not going to say that I'll never meet a guy that I can have that sort of relationship with. And I'm not planning on actually having sex should I have that relationship, but as an indifferent asexual, I'd be willing to compromise.

So the "planning" word is a bit inaccurate for me; I'm more just open to the possibility.

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If I feel the way I do now for the rest of my life, I'm never going to have sex, marriage or not.

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sex isn't just intercourse because that would be a heterosexual slant and limit sexuality to a few seconds and one act. in reality, many do consider themselves to be having sex even before the penetration and when they're not in a two person, male/female partnership.

but to me, the body isn't inherently sexual. there's a limited repertoire and the parts of you that you use for sex are being used in asexual situations. for example, a wife uses her hands to pleasure her husband then she shakes hands with her client the next day. or, the nipples that drives the husband wild also can feed her newborn baby. you don't bring anything new to the table, but when you have sex, your mentality changes. everything has an erotic, sensual, and sexual overtones.

so i could do all the same things that a sexual couple would do, but wihtout that desire, without that mentality, it wouldn't be sexual. but i do intend, if i get a partner and make a commitment, to be physically close to him for various reasons. but sex wouldn't be an appropriate term at all.

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Genetically_Dead

I was a virgin when I married. I was 24, he was 28 and had been married before. I doubt that I would of had sex if I hadn't married but then again I would want to know if I was missing out on anything.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I plan on either never having it or waiting until marriage. I believe sex should either be within a marriage with complete faithfullness to your partner, or complete absinance outside of marriage.

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  • 1 month later...
I plan on either never having it or waiting until marriage. I believe sex should either be within a marriage with complete faithfullness to your partner, or complete absinance outside of marriage.

Ditto.

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Had intercourse before marriage, but I've never really thought of it in the 'sex before marriage' context. Hm.

Either way, I don't believe in the necessity or sanctity of marriage, so it wouldn't and doesn't bother me.

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I started having sex at the earliest possible prepared moment and have never looked back, and that was almost 10 years ago - no wedding ring yet, thank god! :lol:

But then, I'm sexual.

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I started having sex at the earliest possible prepared moment and have never looked back, and that was almost 10 years ago - no wedding ring yet, thank god! :lol:

But then, I'm sexual.

I'm also sexual, didn't start at the earliest possible time, actually not even till I was 22 (not for want of trying and a few "nearly" episodes) and I have the wedding ring. So I'm almost the complete opposite of BunnyK.

But I still had plenty of pre-marital sex, including with my now wife. Never saw the problem with it, and despite her asexuality, neither did my wife. Why is it bad to understand the sexual side of your relationship before you make it permanent, exactly?

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I'm asexual, and never plan to have sex of any sort, because I find the very idea of me doing such a thing to be unpleasant.

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Why is it bad to understand the sexual side of your relationship before you make it permanent, exactly?

For some Christians (I have many relatives who host various flavors of this particular meme complex, although I don't myself...), getting engaged is a "don't ask, don't tell" license to start having sex. Presumably, if there is a serious mismatch in sex drives or tastes, the participants can break the engagement before getting married. This makes perfect sense to me. I don't know if folks carrying other religious meme complexes (Judaism or Muslim, for example) have found similar ways to circumvent ancient taboos.

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Why is it bad to understand the sexual side of your relationship before you make it permanent, exactly?

In my case I view fidelity as time independent, so if I were to explore my sexual side and not end up with that person I'd be unsuited for another relationship (according to my ideals at least).

That and I don't view the sexual side as important. Romance without sexual fidelity is worthless to me, but the sex itself is neither required or necessary.

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In my case I view fidelity as time independent, so if I were to explore my sexual side and not end up with that person I'd be unsuited for another relationship (according to my ideals at least).

That and I don't view the sexual side as important. Romance without sexual fidelity is worthless to me, but the sex itself is neither required or necessary.

So it sounds like you do understand the sexual dynamic of any relationship you might get into. Knowing that you don't consider sex necessary counts in my book.

Can't agree with you about sex within a relationship counting as infidelity to future relationships and rendering romance worthless, but each to their own.

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I personally never plan on having sex. The idea of me doing such an act is rather disgusting. I honestly don't understand why normal people are into that sort of thing. If you really think about it... the mechanics to it, it's just bleh. I suppose I have no right to judge though since I've never done it. Then again, most people think I'm very weird for liking sauerkraut and don't understand that even if they haven't tried it. We all have our little quirks.

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I honestly don't understand why normal people are into that sort of thing. If you really think about it... the mechanics to it, it's just bleh.

Well, what about this for weird:

* first get some unfertilised poultry foetuses

* steal some breastmilk from a cow, and get the fatty stuff that floats to the top, then bash it till it goes hard

* pick some grass seeds, then smash them into tiny pieces

* pick a different type of grass, squeeze out its juice, and boil it until most of the water is gone, then collect the crystals left when it cools, then do the same thing with a tiny bit of sea water

* get some foully bitter seeds from an exotic tree, and leave them to rot. Just before they go mouldy, dry them out, stick them in the oven, then smash them into tiny pieces

* mix together your foetuses, hardened breastmilk fat, grass seeds, grass juice extract, sea water extract, and fermented bitter seeds,

* heat the whole lot up for half an hour and then let it cool down again to the exact same temperature it was when you started, then eat it.

If you haven't already guessed, you've just made a chocolate cake. If you really think about it... the mechanics to it, it's just bleh, but apparently some people like it :)

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I honestly don't understand why normal people are into that sort of thing. If you really think about it... the mechanics to it, it's just bleh.

Well, what about this for weird:

* first get some unfertilised poultry foetuses

* steal some breastmilk from a cow, and get the fatty stuff that floats to the top, then bash it till it goes hard

* pick some grass seeds, then smash them into tiny pieces

* pick a different type of grass, squeeze out its juice, and boil it until most of the water is gone, then collect the crystals left when it cools, then do the same thing with a tiny bit of sea water

* get some foully bitter seeds from an exotic tree, and leave them to rot. Just before they go mouldy, dry them out, stick them in the oven, then smash them into tiny pieces

* mix together your foetuses, hardened breastmilk fat, grass seeds, grass juice extract, sea water extract, and fermented bitter seeds,

* heat the whole lot up for half an hour and then let it cool down again to the exact same temperature it was when you started, then eat it.

If you haven't already guessed, you've just made a chocolate cake. If you really think about it... the mechanics to it, it's just bleh, but apparently some people like it :)

Yes, but you forget cake is delicious and does not involve phallii.

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Yes, but you forget cake is delicious and does not involve phallii.

No, I don't :wink:

But seriously: as a sexual, I'm happy to admit that if you only consider the mechanics of sex then it's more than faintly ridiculous and not something that is appealing on those grounds alone (like cake), but that's not why people like it (like cake).

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  • 1 month later...
NexusXavier

Asexual and, while not planning to have sex, would readily were it to please Joleen.

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i'm planning not to have sex

but who knows what the future will bring?

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