Trying to make it up to my gf after making insensitive comments to my gf, advice from aces appreciated

[garlic12]

My girlfriend recently came out to me as ace (she later clarified grey-a), and I want to support her. I wasn't studied up on what it actually means to be ace/aro, but figured i knew how to be sensitive about it as part of the LGBT+ community. However, I made jokes that assumed she had a negative attitude towards sex and later implied i wasn't worried at all about her cheating on me because she was ace. Eventually, she made it clear that she was insulted and refuses to talk until i try to make it right. I've tried to learn more from hopefully good articles (health articles, pieces written by ace/aro, AVEN) and i think i got a better grasp on the subject, and im ready to change my behavior. However, I'm not sure how to show that I'm actually going to do better in just an apology. In general, Im not really sure how to make it up to her.

[Mountain House]

I'll assume you said you were sorry.

 

Now sit next to her and read AVEN together for however long it takes until she feels you understand.

[Fraggle Underdark]

Maybe talk about what changed your mind about aces having negative attitudes towards sex or being unable to cheat, if you changed your mind on that. In general maybe just talk about some of your thoughts on what you read, anything you learned (if and only if you changed your mind on a topic), etc. It'd be a tangible way to demonstrate that you put a real effort into understanding aces better.

[SithLord]

Asking how she wants you to make it up to her might be a good idea. If you've been together long, you might know how to show that you're really sorry and have changed. There aren't many ace-specific things you can do to prove yourself. Maybe buy her an ace ring (or offer to)? Post about being an aro/ace ally on social media (pointing out that it's not easy or obvious how to be)? 

[Grimalkin]

Here's what you do: you tell her exactly what you've just said here. 

 

You say "hey, I'm sorry. I said X and Y out of a place of ignorance and that was wrong of me. I have done some reading on asexuality and I understand more about it now. How can I make it up to you?"

 

And then it's up to the both of you to keep a line of communication open. If she brushes you off or continues to give you the silent treatment, that might be a sign that there will be other communication issues in your future.