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Does anyone else hate being touched?


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I'm not sure if I'm the only one who feels this, because some of my ace friends from my support group are excessively touchy-feely, but am I the only one who finds being touched by other people vaguely disturbing? This doesn't happen with close family- my brother or sister or parents- and it doesn't happen with young children. I can do hand-shakes and the like, and if I'm initiating contact it's fine for a few seconds, but if it lasts for more than five seconds or I brush against a stranger on the bus I feel sort of violated and panicky. 

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Yes, hello, that's me. Not panicky so much, but very very uncomfortable. Even with family. More often than not, touch is just kind of too much for me. Handshakes are okay sometimes, but I don't particularly like them (and I'm not sorry they're being kicked out of fashion by the current situation).

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I kind of get what you mean, for me it doesn’t cause panic or anything but most of the time touch just seems weird or unnecessary to me. Of course there are exceptions: I’m cool with contact with a couple of my close friends or my mom, and if I have a romantic partner in the future I’m probably gonna want to be close to them a lot and cuddle and stuff. But other than that, no. Just no, why, ugh.

Honestly I’m probably demisensual.

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I'm the exact same way! I kind of freak out at any kind of prolonged contact with people - physical contact is the worst, but even eye contact more than a second or two makes me uncomfortable. I've always thought it was weird, so it's kind of a relief that someone else feels the same way.

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I hated being touched my whole life, even by friends and family.

 

Somehow in my 20s I became able to reciprocate touch in certain limited circumstances (e.g. a friendly hug) and I strangely even enjoyed it. I’m still largely touch averse but I can “flip” into less-touch averse if I feel comfortable.

 

Completely get the aversion to touching strangers though!

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Never too much liked being touched ‘without notice’ that’s pretty much any touch from anybody.  I often find being touched rather uncomfortable to the skin sometimes.

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Not me, I loooove being touched. Obviously there's some cases that would bother me, but I'm very easy when it comes to touching lol. I've been touchy-feely since I was young and  love feeling physically close.

I'll have to pay attention to what people in this thread say, because I'm curious to understand people who feel differently :) What makes it that you don't like being touched?

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I definitely can feel panicky when people touch me (especially unexpectedly and from behind) due to some trauma. Meaning I am a touch starved demisexual with an aversion to touch. 😅

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I can handle hugs and friendly arm grabs among family. I don't have any friends so I can't speak on that. As for random people, please do not touch me. 😬

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Anthracite_Impreza

I hate being touched by humans; cars and furry/slimy creatures are welcome (except cats. Hate them).

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I like my personal space and my right to my own skin.  I really hate being around  touchy-touchy type people, because when I say I'm not comfortable with the touching, the usual answer is some variation of: there's something wrong with me, I should get over it,  that they just naturally touch people and I should not take it the wrong way, etc. etc.  I have tried calmly saying that their preference for touching does not supercede my desire for them to keep their hands to themselves, and it occasionally gets through to them.   It's a bit like having someone come onto my property and "borrow" some of my tools without my permission, because they are just naturally unconcerned with property rights.  

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BlakeTheNightowl~
4 minutes ago, Rockblossom said:

I like my personal space and my right to my own skin.  I really hate being around  touchy-touchy type people, because when I say I'm not comfortable with the touching, the usual answer is some variation of: there's something wrong with me, I should get over it,  that they just naturally touch people and I should not take it the wrong way, etc. etc.  I have tried calmly saying that their preference for touching does not supercede my desire for them to keep their hands to themselves, and it occasionally gets through to them.   It's a bit like having someone come onto my property and "borrow" some of my tools without my permission, because they are just naturally unconcerned with property rights.  

just do what i do .. be blunt bout it

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5 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

What makes it that you don't like being touched?

I don't know, it's like, I just don't feel a drive to give or receive touch in 99% of cases. If a close friend or family member initiates contact, then I'll go along with it and might even like it a little. But the only times I really, actively want physical contact with someone is when I'm really attracted to them romantically. Outside of those situations, meh. I'll go along with it to make the other person happy (within reason of course), but yeah, just, meh.

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I'm not exactly touch averse, but I almost never initiate physical contact unless it's with someone I'm very close to. I think some of it has to do with my friends and family (most of whom aren't super physically affectionate), but I just find that physical contact can feel weird or unnatural to me. I have a very strong sense of personal space.

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I'm surprised there's so many people here who don't like being touched 😮

 

I can understand feeling like it invades personal space if they don't stop, like including after being told maybe, but you always reign your space.

To explain how weird it is to me, it's a bit like if someone told me they feel invaded when someone talks to them. Which I guess can happen if I don't feel like talking and they keep trying to engage me. I guess it does depend on the person still though (for touching).

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For me it’s more I’m picky with who I have any kind of physical contact with at all (I didn’t feel comfortable holding my ex-gf’s hand until a month after our relationship began). Generally I only have any kind of physical contact at all with close friends and family.

 

surprisingly I really enjoy cuddling, but that’s something that I’d only ever do with an SO. I definitely don’t have any interest in being touched in anyway that’d be considered sexual.

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I fluctuate actually, sometimes I really love and crave the feeling of being touched. 

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Luftschlosseule

I thought I hated being touched and hugged. Turns out my problem was with non-existing consent. As soon as people started asking if touching me is okay instead of just doing it, it became fine.

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Let be begin by saying I hate hand shakes, I'm okay with shaking forearms, but I don't like anyone touching my hands. I really hate hugs, especially when there's no warning and some weirdo sneak-hugs me. I've also gone to therapy for sensory issues unrelated to my asexuality, so I don't think the two have anything in relation. 

 

 "No touchy! - Emperor Kuzco" - Skylord26

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BlakeTheNightowl~
3 hours ago, Skylord26 said:

Let be begin by saying I hate hand shakes, I'm okay with shaking forearms, but I don't like anyone touching my hands. I really hate hugs, especially when there's no warning and some weirdo sneak-hugs me. I've also gone to therapy for sensory issues unrelated to my asexuality, so I don't think the two have anything in relation. 

 

 "No touchy! - Emperor Kuzco" - Skylord26

yee relatable i hate people touching me.. it's just revolting :s 

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  • 2 years later...

The way I feel is fluid throughout my life, but basically I don't like being touched by others, even family or friends. I can put up with it if it's on my clothes, but if it's directly on my skin, I get a bit panicky. For example, I don't really like shaking hands either. Also, I had a bad experience when I was in a hospital, so I've been quite nervous for the last ten years. orz

 

For a long time, I hid the fact that I didn't like being touched. I blamed myself for being rude to the other person. But reading this thread has encouraged me. My self esteem is coming back to me. Thank you and take care!

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I am very much touch averse with pretty much anyone. I don't like hugging friends/family, shaking hands, anything. When I've been in relationships I have been okay with cuddles and holding hands, but only with my partner, and even with some of them I was pretty averse to it.

 

I did used to accommodate others and make myself uncomfortable by giving a welcome/farewell hug, or shaking hands, but I have now made it clear to my friends and family that I prefer not to have any physical contact with other people, and they are generally accepting of that.

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6 minutes ago, Sammie M said:

I have now made it clear to my friends and family that I prefer not to have any physical contact with other people, and they are generally accepting of that.

Yes, I think this is very important. Thank you.

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I didn't miss handshakes when they went out of fashion with Covid, but generally I'm okay with them. I do hate it when people (who are not in my close circle of friends/family) kiss me on the cheeks by way of greeting. Get out of my face, ugh! 
I love hugs, but again: only with people I really like. And without wandering hands, please. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 11/14/2022 at 1:21 AM, Sammie Claus said:

I am very much touch averse with pretty much anyone. I don't like hugging friends/family, shaking hands, anything. When I've been in relationships I have been okay with cuddles and holding hands, but only with my partner, and even with some of them I was pretty averse to it.

 

I did used to accommodate others and make myself uncomfortable by giving a welcome/farewell hug, or shaking hands, but I have now made it clear to my friends and family that I prefer not to have any physical contact with other people, and they are generally accepting of that.

Lately I made it clear to people close to me I did not like to be touched physically. I’m not sure what they really thought, but at least then they kindly accepted me. They knew I had struggled with mental health for years, so I was comfortable confiding in them. 

 

I used to think that there were implicit rules for communication in the environment where I live in, and that I had to follow them. Recently, however, I got something changed, and from now on, I intend to express my feelings. It’s better to tell people about what I suffer, regardless of whether I agree with the surrounding atmosphere. I figured out it.

 

I just wanted to say thank you for your advice. 😌 Take care of yourself too.

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I would say I hate being touched by most people, but not really close friends and family. I haven't had many relationship that have had a physical side to them, at least not in a very long time, so even just my friend bumping their arm into me feels odd now. Not necessarily bad, just unexpected. 

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On 11/14/2022 at 3:21 AM, Sammie Claus said:

I am very much touch averse with pretty much anyone. I don't like hugging friends/family, shaking hands, anything. When I've been in relationships I have been okay with cuddles and holding hands, but only with my partner, and even with some of them I was pretty averse to it.

Yeah same. I don't like it when I visit family and they want to hug/kiss me. I just endure it. Even worse is on trains/planes/buses when strangers bump into me. I just want to scream "get away from me!" 😫

I don't know if it would be different if I had a romantic partner ?? Maybe. 

 

Weirdly I adore touching my cat! 😻 I'm always patting her fur, picking her up for a cuddle or kissing her head! I don't know why I love touching my cat but can't stand touching humans?

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