Dressing confidently

[Guest]

Do you dress confidently? Does dress sense link with asexuality? I personally don't think so. I deliberately wore a red top to prove a point to acephobes that aces can still dress confidently and still be asexual!! I haven't worn red in a long time!! I don't even like wearing red at all!! Only did it to prove a point. You can still be asexual and wear anything.

[Dawning]

Wear whatever you like; isn't that what a confident person does? If you don't like red, than by wearing red, you're not confident, you're letting other people's perceptions dictate what colors you put on YOUR body, because you care more about their opinion than you do about your own preferences and comfort.

 

Wearing bright colors and certain styles might seem confident to someone who's afraid of being the focus of attention, but they could just as easily signify someone who is desperate for attention, which is the opposite of confident. 

 

All different kinds of people are confident; there isn't anything you could point to that's the uniform of a confident person. You can't spot a confident person by whether or not they're wearing a red shirt, but you CAN spot them by whether or not they're looking anxiously around, clearly wondering what everyone else thinks about them.

[Homer]

If I fits, I wears.

[Phalena]

I dress in a relatively conservative manner and almost always cover my shoulders and knees. Makes it also a lot easier when stepping into religious places. As an art historian I really like going into churches just to see what they look like. Depending on country and region, they won't even let you in when you don't have both covered, so I solved this little inconvience by always having a large scarf with me. I haven't heard anything about not being dressed confidently since middle school. There, I was called a nun and therefore unsexy and ugly. That surely didn't motivate me to try out more revealing things. Also, there was a high chance of bein called slutty for wearing something "too revealing" and "putting on the wrong make-up". Teeny-me couldn't be bothered with fashion, so I just wore long trousers, closed shoes and a blouse. Today, I try to look professional and elegant. At a certain point I had to realise that looking what most perceive as "rich" makes many people treat you much better than when your clothes look average or even low-class.

[CléoPâtre]

Well personally, I like to wear colors and bold clothes, but I also like to wear "muted" clothes (I like to vary styles and not always be in one "category"), and I really like to see people and their different kind of "fashion" style... But, it's not because I wear colors or not, that I want for others to do the same. This is their choice, they wear whatever the f* they want!

 

If you want a simple advice to "dress confidently", the morning, before going to school/work/a date, just take the first items from your closet that come to mind: a shirt, a dress, a skirt, a short, jeans... whatever..! In general, it's the mood that you "woke up" with and that you'll be confident to wear, whether it be chic, comfortable, casual, etc... Also, don't bother with: does it match the rest of my outfit..? it just creates anxiousness and in general is based on "what would people think?" and not "Do I like it?"...

 

And to answer your question, being confident in what you wear is not a question of sexuality, it's a question of whether or not someone assumes THEIR choices, not the norm's, not their friends' choice, nor their parents' choice. It's all about: is it something I like and is it something I'm comfortable wearing?

[Purple Red Panda]

3 hours ago, stampoc said:

Do you dress confidently?

I basically wear what I want to wear when it comes to male clothing. Part of me sometimes does want to dress in what would be considered feminine clothing but I don't have the confidence to do that (as yet). I do wear makeup though and I will wear it whenever I want to, be it seeing friends, work, visiting relatives church etc. I was a bit nervous the first few times but now I barely think about it. I like makeup, I think it looks good on me and it expresses my sense of ambiguity about my gender.

[Raindrops]

I prefer to dress comfortably. Oversized hoodies and tracksuit bottoms are my favourite, usually in greys and blacks. It's not a lack of confidence, I just prefer duller colours and shades.

[Galactic Turtle]

I like my wardrobe. Some of my clothes are red. I don't think red clothes are inherently signaling confidence though. It's just red. I wear what I want to wear and prioritize functionality and comfort over aesthetic.

[Libellule]

I think that everyone should wear whatever they want. Someone's sexual orientation does not dictate the way they dress.

I wear a fair amount of red, including bright shades, because it looks pretty good on me and I don't see why I should stop wearing it just because I'm ace and some people happen to associate the colour red with sex. I don't think it expresses confidence either - it's just a colour that tends to get 'noticed' easily.

[everywhere and nowhere]

3 hours ago, MiffKeks said:

I dress in a relatively conservative manner and almost always cover my shoulders and knees.

I too always cover both (and more*) because of my nudity aversion, but I don't dress conservatively. I have a great sentiment for the hippie counterculture and I wear very colourful clothes, generally close to hippie style. Is it confident? People who blindly perceive skimpy clothes as "liberating" and showing very little skin as a sign of "hang-ups" or "repression" may perceive the nudity-averse aspect of my way of dressing as "unconfident" because for them a nudity-averse person is anyway automatically "unconfident". But on the other hand, hippie counterculture is also associated with "free love"... I find it confident not to let my sentiment for the hippie era get in the way of my nudity aversion (which I accept and even embrace as a part of me) and not to let my preference for very covering clothes keep me from dressing in a hippie style.

 

*Legs: always at least upper 3/4 covered, but only rarely; usually my legs are fully covered... really, I sometimes wear capri pants (3/4 length) only to shock people with the sight of unshaved female legs. For sport (cycling, gym) I dress in a different style and it includes short pants in the summer... but always with pantyhose underneath because I just can't have my varicose veins visible. And it's allergy-friendly pantyhose, with about 80% cotton, so very opaque.

Arms: shoulders always covered. Generally, in the summer my arms are usually covered down to the elbows.

Trunk: back and abdomen always fully covered. I feel still comfortable enough if the neckline is no lower than right below the collarbone (so admittedly much higher than what most women consider "not too embarassing yet". In fact I don't have a cleavage because my boobs are very sagging (and were already sagging at the age of 20), but if I had one, it would remain fully covered. I also don't like having my silhouette vey visible, I like loose clothes, so I prefer wearing shirts / tunics / T-shirts / robes which at least cover the butt, and often reach down to the knees. I even sometimes wear dresses with pants.

 

Example of my nudity aversion in an indoor situation. Recently I have taken "a certain kind of trip" with a friend (well, actually only I took a trip, because her antidepressants rendered the mushrooms inactive ). Her clothes: a very colourful dress with bare shoulders. My clothes: a simple turtleneck blouse, socks, long johns and a long, decorative robe (I call it my "ceremonial dress") on top of that.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I would say I mostly dress confidently (ie, what I want), but since I would still be too embarrassed or afraid of shaming to wear Cars/Planes stuff (one of my main aspie interests, in case no one had noticed), I'm clearly not all the way there. My bedroom is full of the stuff though 🤫

[Cee Fox]

I wear what I want, honestly. I've been told I dress immodestly sometimes but I guess I feel comfortable enough to do so. I don't know if that means I dress confidently though haha

[Janus the Fox]

I dress in what I like to dress in, If clothing of a feminine nature is my natural best fit, and feel confident in wearing that instead privately, then can only show some comfort as well as confidence on the occasion of personal dysphoria.