Rikusephirosu Posted August 21, 2007 Share Posted August 21, 2007 Yay! *another hug* I understand... And yet technically I kinda have to go through the same thing, only Im not pretending, Im ignoring the fools because I refuse to answer. :x And before I knew what asexual meant for a human, I was already calling myself an amoeba.:) That and..where I come from they make up names for gays...lesbians... And other nonsense everyday. :cry: So, while I do ignore the fools, they still call me anything regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I agree with a lot of these posts. I don't think it's any easier for young asexuals now than when I was a teenager. The whole world is still obsessed with sex; it might be a bit easier for gays than it was, but us asexuals are still weirdos as far as most of the world is concerned. I spent a good chunk of my life waiting for my sex drive to kick in. Or rather, I did have a drive of sorts, in that I found men sexy and attractive (I'm hetero) but never wanted to actually have sex with them. When I finally did do, my attitiude was, right, I've done that now, it was an interesting experience but not really for me. I think if at that point I'd have known that there were other people like me, and that while I might not be the norm, at least I wasn't alone, I might have had the courage to just declare myself asexual and have done with it all. Instead I went through all the pretences many of us probably have, pretending I liked it until it got to the point in a relationship where I just couldn't any more (death knell of relationship), going to Ann Summers parties and wondering why the hell anyone would spend good money on over-priced toys...and just generally thinking that all this fuss about sex must mean I was missing something important, some connection that I just couldn't get. Looking back, I've always been different in many ways, and I couldn't give a damn about that. I think it's just that sex is all-pervasive in our society, and to be different in that respect is so wearing. Having found AVEN, it was like a light going on in the dark. There's a name for what I am! There are thousands of us! I just needed that little comfort of knowing that this is just another way I'm different, not sick, to make me add this difference in me to the others and say stuff the world, I'm me, and what's more there are loads of us!! Yes, I think if I'd had AVEN when I was a teenager it might have saved me a lot of angst. But it might also have stopped me meeting my (sexual) partner, because while we've worked out a great solution to our sexual incompatibility, we may have never got together at all if I'd declared myself asexual from the start. Link to post Share on other sites
coldav Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Yes, it would have eliminated a lot of confusion from my teens through my 40's. Wow, that is a long time. Seeing "Montel" and finding this site has clarified my existence. Link to post Share on other sites
Rikusephirosu Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 I watched that show on youtube a few hours ago. That man, Montel, is very rude.. He claimed that he wasnt trying to say that we asexuals need help, just that we should ask a doctor about it. Thats the same thing! And he is very mean about it not even trying to stay calm.. Seriously, its just a way of life. Just like for a person who is born blind. It happens, nothing wrong with that, they will just grow up differently from other people but they will still be normal in their eyes. :( Link to post Share on other sites
mackat5 Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Montel is VERY highly sexed, and really doesn't know how to react to folks like us who don't want sex. It's not in him to understand. Just can't wrap his brain around the idea. Having said that, yes, he did interrupt way too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Rikusephirosu Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Exactly. If he didnt understand before, I saw no point in him really doing that show because when he spoke to them, he seemed to be singling them out like aliens and so was that doctor..And that wasnt right. :( Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Exactly. If he didnt understand before, I saw no point in him really doing that show because when he spoke to them, he seemed to be singling them out like aliens and so was that doctor..And that wasnt right. :( Don't get so focused on the little things that you miss the big picture, Riku. Montel has a HUGE audience. It wouldn't matter if he brought in professionals by the boatload who shouted us down and ALL said that we were crazy, sick, or in denial. Like Keith said during the show, we aren't TRYING to reach the vast sexual majority. Whether they believe us, understand us, or whether they laugh at us doesn't matter in the slightest. What matters is that the ASEXUALS who see the show will immediately understand what we are saying. Have you seen how many new members have joined AVEN in the last week or so - entirely due to seeing the Montel show? There is an old saying, and in our case, at this point in time, it is entrely true: There is no such thing as bad publicity! The Montel show has been a huge asset for us, even with its problems. (And, what the heck - I got a free trip to New York! :D ) -GB / Nancy *as seen on TV* Link to post Share on other sites
Rikusephirosu Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Ohhh you were one of them there? :D Awesome! Although I hate living here in Newyork.. :( I understand what you mean, but I guess Im not surprised at that crowd.. Considering who they were watching speak. :D I hope you enjoyed Newyork! And yeah, even though Montel and his audience were a bunch of meanies, he did do us a big favor with many more coming to AVEN who are like us.:) Link to post Share on other sites
IronWulf Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I'm a slightly younger (26) A. I don't think knowing sooner would have changed much of my high school time. I was also anti-social, smart, athletic and more mature than my peers (still am more often than not). One thing that I had going for me there was I was always very busy, zero-hour each morning, after school swimming practice or band rehearsal, then I also had a part-time job. I was too busy to really notice much about sex and hook-ups. I also had a boyfriend ( now my husband) but our dating pattern was out to dinner and a movie then don't talk to each other for 3 weeks, another dinner and movie, rinse and repeat. Knowing sooner probably would have prevented my marriage. Though I may have chosen to experiment (with actual sex) before marriage to see how well I would be able to compromise. I think that's the big change I would see. Slightly off topic for Rikusephirosu: You may wish to look into a running or head start program that lets you get your AA degree while still in high school. Worked wonders for me, I only went to high school for band for two years. Plus community colleges tend to have an older, more mature crowd mixed in. And if at least where I went, my high school paid my college tuition. Link to post Share on other sites
Rikusephirosu Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 *innocent smile* Uhhhmmmmmm :oops: ...What is AA? :oops: :oops: And band? I was never good at that kind of stuff..only art. Thats why I participate in the Senior Art Honor Society this year! :D *happiness* Cant wait!! :D Its bad enough they have been displaying my art in colleges, schools.. contests.. :cry: Atleast I get my art back though! Link to post Share on other sites
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