Is it a squish or not ?

[MorningHaze]

Hi!

 

So i'll try not to talk too much but I have this friend (same gender) on twitter that i can call one of my best friend (it's a mutual feeling). We've been very close, along with another one of my best friend. My bf was in a relationship back then but I never felt jealous, I was happy for them truly. I have a strong aesthetic attraction (mainly on opposite gender tho) but I don't feel aesthetically attracted to them even tho they're really pretty 

 

The thing is, recently they found other people and quickly went best friends together. I know these people too because I also like them a lot (as friend) and it's mutual. I was just very jealous that I wasn't included in their jokes and especially in the private groupchat they were in together. With that, my best friend started interacting less and less with me and I was really missing them. After days of feeling sad about it, I spoke to them and told them I was feeling left out and they tried to reassure me and all but that made it worse because they didn't try talking to me more after that. So at first, I thought I was just jealous of their friendship but I don't feel as strongly when i see someone in the group interact with another one. It's only when I see my bf talk about them or joke with them that my mood can quickly change. I talked with another aroace friend of mine who explained what a squish was to them and I felt like it could match ? I know my friends love me and I love them back; I know my best friend (who i'm talking about) love me but I wish they loved me more ? (And i'm sure it's not a crush) 

 

So now I guess i'm really confused. Is it a squish that I have to get over or am I really just a bad friend who's easily jealous ? 

[Guest]

This sounds like you're jealous of anyone that you feel your friend might like as a friend more than you. It doesn't sound like you want to be with them romantically.

[Dawning]

I don't know if I qualify to give 2¢ on this issue, so I'll give you my 1¢: When someone that you have any kind of relationship with significantly reduces the time and attention that they give you, and you talk to them about it and they don't change their behavior… what they SAY doesn't matter… that's ALWAYS a significant problem, doubly so when they're doing private things with new friends that they could easily include you in but have chosen to NOT include you.

 

They are treating you in a very unkind way. This is not how you deserve to be treated. This is not how you should tolerate being treated! Rather than continuing to suffer while they exclude you, start focusing YOUR time and attention on people who welcome you with open arms!

[Artemis42]

It’s normal to become jealous in situations like these. I recommend talking to your friend again and make sure they know that you’re unhappy with being so left out. If they try to make things better, awesome. If not, that’s not what a good friend would do. You deserve better than that. But I know it’s hard when you really like them, I’ve been in that situation with friends before. But don’t be like me and put up with bad treatment for a long time. 

[MorningHaze]

14 hours ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

It doesn't sound like you want to be with them romantically

I know that, squish or not, I'm 100% sure no kind of romantic feelings are involved 

 

13 hours ago, Dawning said:

start focusing YOUR time and attention on people who welcome you with open arms

That's what I've been trying to do. When I talked with my aroace friend, they said that their squish is like: a friend that you want them to notice you more than others. I know I have other friends who love me and I should concentrate on them more and I can but everytime I think about my bf, it becomes harder 

That's why i've been questioning