Silme Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 Basically I did some stuff with a person and physically it was fine but I didn’t really feel anything (like emotionally) it was the same as doing stuff on my own. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 If you're asexual (or asensual, depending on what kind of activity this is) then that could very well be your natural reaction to it. That's fine. It's just not your thing. It's your body; you're not doing anything wrong if you're listening to it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 If you don't necessarily have any attachment to that person, then yeah, that sort of reaction is probably pretty normal. That's why just going out and sexing randoms is generally a terrible way to tell if you're asexual or not (for the people who are questioning it). It's simply not the same experience as it can be with someone you actually do have an attachment with, and many sexuals will say a similar thing -- it's part of the reason why people bother forming relationships to begin with (and this doesn't just happen with regard to sex, either) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 I dunno how normal it is, but I think it can easily happen to not be emotionally invested, and then it just feels like doing something, no special feeling. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silme Posted September 19, 2020 Author Share Posted September 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Philip027 said: If you don't necessarily have any attachment to that person, then yeah, that sort of reaction is probably pretty normal. That's why just going out and sexing randoms is generally a terrible way to tell if you're asexual or not (for the people who are questioning it). It's simply not the same experience as it can be with someone you actually do have an attachment with, and many sexuals will say a similar thing -- it's part of the reason why people bother forming relationships to begin with (and this doesn't just happen with regard to sex, either) I’m pretty positive I do have an attachment to them Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Plushval Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 4 hours ago, Silme said: Basically I did some stuff with a person and physically it was fine but I didn’t really feel anything (like emotionally) it was the same as doing stuff on my own. I've never did something with another person other than kissing. I'm very aro ace and I seriously imagine this is exactly what it would be like for me. It's just a physical thing, nothing really sexual and definitely nothing romantic. Your description seems quite accurate to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 I lose track of feelings all the time, so to me it's not that odd to happen. Sometimes the feelings connect, sometimes they don't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maskulinity Posted September 19, 2020 Share Posted September 19, 2020 "Normal" is such a loaded word. There are lots of different kinds of people who like different things, but it's hard to say that either the people who are into hookup culture are "normal", or the people who want devoted monogamous sexual relationships are "normal", or the people who want open/poly relationships of any variety are "normal". "Normal" is generally just a mashup of societal bias and consensus. I've had the same experience, except I would say the sex with someone I generally cared about but definitely wasn't in love with was definitely more enjoyable than doing it myself. It just wasn't enjoyable enough to want to go out and actively seek it again. Like, I love roller coasters (or, rather, I remember loving roller coasters), but I haven't been on one in god-knows-how-many years and the thrill that I remember isn't worth the hassle of going to an amusement park to revisit it. Now, I imagine if I managed to build my own roller coaster in my back yard... it'd collapse and I'd die. Wait, no, that's not where that analogy was supposed to go. Hold on. So, now, if I imagine I had a trained team of professional engineers build me my own roller coaster in my back yard, I'd probably feel like enjoying it occasionally. I assume. I've of two minds. Part of me says "Hell yeah, I'd ride that HARD, ALL NIGHT LONG!" and part of me says "I'd ride it once or twice, be generally happy about it, then go back inside and forget it exists until someone says to me 'Hey, you've got a roller coaster! Can we ride it?'." Is that "normal"? Couldn't say. I can say that the feeling isn't shared by anyone I personally know IRL (about the sex part; I haven't taken a survey about owning personal roller coasters). So in that way, it's probably not "normal". But it's not so unusual that there are psychiatrists shoving each other out of the way to try to build a career off profiling me. I don't think. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 10 hours ago, Silme said: Basically I did some stuff with a person and physically it was fine but I didn’t really feel anything (like emotionally) it was the same as doing stuff on my own. You won't feel connections with everyone. Like Goldilocks and porridge. I'm known for my bad analogies. bye Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 It’s about as much of an experience I have within my own relationship at thr moment. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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