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Am I on the Aromantic spectrum?


TessaTheCat

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I've had what I thought were crushes on people, but I'm wondering now if they really were crushes or were more like squishes or aesthetic attraction, because I've never really wanted a relationship with any of those people. I'm confused, because for about a year now I've had what I thought was a crush on my friend, but I'm questioning that now that I'm wondering if I'm aro. I wanted to sit near her, and talk and cuddle with her, but I didn't really think about kissing her or realistically having a relationship with her for most of the time i was crushing on her. I would daydream about taking her on dates, but never really thought about actually doing it because I was worried she wasn't interested or it would be weird. Those feel like romantic feelings, but they never felt particularly stronger than any other feelings, and if I didn't see her at all those feelings faded. Any romantic feelings I might have felt with anyone have never felt as strong as platonic feelings. I love the idea of having a relationship, and I've daydreamed a lot about it in the future, but I've never felt much desire to have a relationship at the present time. I really want a relationship in the future, but I worry that I won't ever feel romantic feelings strongly enough to have one. I also identified as on the aro/ace spectrum five years ago, but I questioned that afterwards until now. Do any of you have any idea about where I fall on the aro spectrum, or if I do at all? Sorry, I know you probably get these questions all the time! :)

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Hi!

Obviously I can’t tell you what you are, but honestly, you could be aromantic. Or greyromantic. If you don’t know much about greyromanticism I highly recommend looking into it because it encompasses a wide range of experiences between fully aromantic and fully romantic. 

Also, maybe you’d like a QPR (queerplatonic relationship) with your friend? QPRs are committed like romantic relationships, but involve only platonic feelings.

I hope any of this is helpful :) 

I’m happy to elaborate further on any of these terms as well if you like

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