Cross-orientation

[Ellie6]

Hi everyone,

 

I wanted to create a thread on cross-orientation, as I have not seen one on here yet. I've done some reading on cross-orientation and found this text in article which defines the term:

 

Cross orientation, also known as “mixed orientation,” is a term given to describe a situation where someone experiences romantic attraction to a different gender group to who they’re sexually attracted to.

So, a cross orientation can describe a situation where there’s a difference between the people you’re sexually attracted to, and the people you’re romantically attracted to. 

This concept of cross orientation was formed by the asexual community to describe someone who feels romantically attracted to one or more genders without necessarily feeling sexually attracted to them.

 

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So I feel like cross-orientation applies to me and I wonder if it applies to anyone else. I'd love to hear your stories and how you've come to realize your orientation. For me, I feel that I am only romantically attracted to men (heteromantic) and that I am only sexually attracted to women (homosexual). I'm also definitely "grey" on both sides. Upon figuring myself out, I've come to terms with the possibility that there will be issues down the road with a potential partner. I have a difficult time deciding if I should go with just the romantic route (and not being having sex) or just the sexual route (but with no romantic relationship). Right now, it makes more sense for me to pursue a romantic relationship. It's frustrating because I want to desire my partner in more ways than one. 

 

So does cross-orientation apply to you? What have your experiences been like? Do you believe that there is such a think as being cross-oriented? (some people believe that this orientation exists and others don't). If this becomes a hot topic, I'm sorry I failed to post this in that thread lol. 

 

[Snao Cone]

The more common term here is split orientation. There are a lot of people here like that, though most of them are romantic asexuals or aromantic sexuals, so they're only seeking one side of it, which might make it more straightforward for them than it is for you. 

 

As for the possibility of controversy, there are certainly some people who don't think it's a realistic or practical model of the complex human experiences surrounding sex and romance, but they're a minority here on AVEN. Never doubt the potential for a harmless thread to turn into a debate, though; we are on the internet after all.

[Ellie6]

2 hours ago, Snao Cone (me) said:

The more common term here is split orientation. There are a lot of people here like that, though most of them are romantic asexuals or aromantic sexuals, so they're only seeking one side of it, which might make it more straightforward for them than it is for you. 

 

As for the possibility of controversy, there are certainly some people who don't think it's a realistic or practical model of the complex human experiences surrounding sex and romance, but they're a minority here on AVEN. Never doubt the potential for a harmless thread to turn into a debate, though; we are on the internet after all.

Ah thanks for clarifying @Snao Cone (me). Maybe I’ll look into a different thread or forum for this topic.