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Harper_The_Killjoy

I need some help ending a relationship because of me being aro

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Harper_The_Killjoy

So, I've been dating this girl for i think either maybe a month or a little under a month, (I'm horrible at keeping time) and I was questioning my sexuality when my friend who also was asked if i wanted to date enter a dating game with them, i said yes and then I met the girl im dating at the moment, so umm, here's the bad part, I've recently came to terms I'm asexual and aromantic and I'm not interested in relationships. So I'm trying to think of how to gently break up with her without making her really sad because of it, but I've came up with no ideas, and I'm scared that she'll hate me and not be friends with me. Could anyone give me some advice on how to break up with her? 

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ProxyOverride

Tell the truth.

Just take it slow and be as gentle as possible.

Maybe assure her and comfort her :)

I'm not sure if this helps, but good luck

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Harper_The_Killjoy

okie, I'll try and take it from there, thank you :D

 

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Snaoronto Conetario

Make sure she knows that you've been exploring your own feelings about yourself - not her - and you've learned new things that put into perspective what really drives you. It has nothing to do with her or how she's acted in the relationship or who she is as a person. It's just your own individual needs and disposition. 

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Lie-RennyValkyrie_

Don't do what I did when I was in a similar situation which is wait two months after figuring it out and then write a letter to them in circular gallifreyan stating youre aroace and breaking up with them.... and then have to teach them to read circular gallifreyan....

 

Anyway, real advice- Tell her the truth, that you have realised your aro. Make sure she understands what that means and that you simply don't feel an attraction at all that its nothing about her or anything she has done. Make sure to say something like 'I don't want to be in a relationship but we can still be friends' so she knows that you want to be her friend still. Maybe even clarify that you really like her as a friend but just not romantically.

 

She might be a little sad at first but she's likely to come around. Like I said I broke up with my ex in a really vague letter in a fictional language and admittedly weren't not close now but thats because tbh my ex is kind of a creep and we aren't in the same circles so thats why not because of our breakup. Most people will be fine with being friends with their ex if they broke up on okay terms. Especially because you haven't been together for that long.

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fairyofsuburbia

I agree with what's been said, be gentle and comforting but most of all ensure she understands it's not her fault. You could say that you like her as a person and hope that you can still be friends, but you've realised you don't feel attracted to people and are not interested in a relationship with anyone, not just her specifically.

It might be possible that she'll be a little sad or upset or ask you to give her some space. In that case you'd just have to accept it. But as you haven't been dating for very long I'm sure she will eventually come around and be willing to be friends with you. 

 

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SunlitMoonlight

i, personally, would probably screw it up a ton

so i cant really help you

i have generic advice such as dont yell

be nice

idk maybe tell her its not anything she's done 

but i wish you the best of luck

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