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Birlow17

Would your orientation be different if you were a different person?

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Birlow17

 I keep thinking to myself what my idea of love is and if I truly understand it like everyone else even if I can’t feel it or haven’t experienced it. The weird thing is my answer is yes.

 

I like watching melodramas and romance genres. I like watching the first stages of characters falling in love or the innocent and heart fluttering moments. I understand someone can give you butterflies, and even the feeling of being heartbroken. 
 

But when it comes to me I don’t feel that way. I don’t feel that way romantically or sexually about others. I prefer and am content with platonic love. I would feel terrible if someone liked me because I know I’m not capable of feeling the same way about them. It confuses me because I understand it but don’t feel that way because of the way I’m wired.

 

It makes me think what if I was in a different body, would my orientation still be the same? Whatever you identify as, do you feel you understand what it means to be in love with someone or lust for someone? And if not, do you think if you were in a different body things would be different?

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CBC
17 minutes ago, Birlow17 said:

Whatever you identify as, do you feel you understand what it means to be in love with someone or lust for someone?

Yep to both, although I wouldn't really ever say I'm 'in lust' with someone haha. I can have... lustful feelings?

 

I don't think there's any way of knowing -- or even guessing -- if things would be different if I had a completely different body.

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KrysLostInSpace

I don't really think I'd be too different. Maybe I'd be more comfortable and less anxious. If I had to pick, I'd be some chaotic bisexual (it's more or less mostly men) that's also some weird mix of a grey/demisexual but it's mostly just fleeting attraction/low interest with dry periods. Also a hardcore grey-romantic, like I'd be in the grave before I actually had one.

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Philip027

If by different person you just mean different body, I can't really imagine things being any different.  That's pretty much why I've considered myself agender.

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FaerySilverwings

It took me quite a while to wrap my brain around this set of questions... but I think I have my answer. While I do think my anxiety would have different origins/expressions if I'd either started out in or just got put into a different body, I don't think my orientations would be different. I'd still be me inside that body, and my aromantic and asexual nature isn't just a function of my body itself, it's a part of who I am (my mind/soul/personality/etc). 

 

As far as the second question... I think I understand the abstract concepts of "being in love" and "lusting after someone" from sort of an observational-academic perspective, but I don't relate to them as something I can or want to experience myself. I don't really think my being in another body would change that. (Granted it might change what I would have to deal with in terms of "people feeling those things towards me"?)

 

I think it's a bit less interesting trying to figure out what my orientation would be considered if I were in a different physical form, considering that my starting orientation is "none", so there isn't really a shift to different labels needed? 

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Acing It
1 hour ago, CBC said:

I don't think there's any way of knowing -- or even guessing -- if things would be different if I had a completely different body.

This I think. How long is a piece of string...

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Nowhere Girl

I rather feel that if I had a different orientation, I would be a completely different person.

But in terms of body... yes, it does have an influence, because my sex aversion is a result of my nudity aversion, and my nudity aversion - of my lifelong chronic illness (allergy and atopic dermatitis). And because of this... I'm just glad it turned this way. For me it's a good example of a generally negative factor which has brought positive results - because sorry sex positivists, I just cannot perceive my sex aversion and effective asexuality as a "lack", a "defect", as something unfortunate. I identify with my orientation and the very idea of being someone psychologically capable of having sex feels violating to me. Even if rejection of sex is negative in a logical sense - of being the absence of something - I still just cannot find anything worthwhile in an ability to have sex. On the contrary, I feel that by "losing" a potential for sexual desire or even willingness, I gained something which is dear to me. Maybe deep down I am actually asexual - because ultimately I just "fail" to perceive sex as something so valuable. I don't feel like I'm missing anything, rather the combination of my own sexual unwillingness, my feminist views and just my penchant for non-conformism, that elusive something I call "Revelation of Rebellion" - gave me a critical perpective on sex and sexuality.

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Raindrops

Well, if I still had the same brain, then I'd have the same sexuality. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be me. 😛 If you just gave me a different sexuality though, I imagine my life wouldn't be much different, as I'd still have my anxiety which holds me back. Do let me know if I've completely misunderstood the question. 😅

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2SpiritCherokeePrincess

In my current incarnation I'm asexual in a human body.  In previous lives I may have been a rabbit, forget-me-not, bacteria, spirit, stone, cloud, asteroid etc.; each existence having it's own characteristics including different orientations.

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Karst

I really don't know.  It depends on how different this hypothetical Other Me would be.

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ER2742

If I were a different person, then... well... I'd be a different person. Would some other person have an orientation different from mine? Sure, possibly.

 

If I were me in a different body, with all the stuff that makes me me (brain, endocrine system, whatever else) somehow transplanted into this different body, then I wouldn't be a different person. I'd still be me, just in a different body. So probably not.

 

If only some of the stuff that makes me me were transplanted, then I'd be sort of me but sort of not, like people who radically change personality after a brain injury. In that case, who knows?

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DarkStormyKnight

This is a really interesting question... It depends on whether you think that someone's orientation has its origins in the physical body or whether it's part of someone's personality. And I think the answer would be different from person to person, since some people are more affected my their physical body that others.

Another thing to consider is how we're socialized to think about romance depending on our bodies, if I was AMAB would I be different? I think I'd reach the same place eventually, but probably my path would be different.

Personally I think I'd feel the same regardless, I don't really have an opinion on my own gender/body anymore. My orientation I think ties into this a lot, since I don't feel attraction towards anybody. So I'd guess that it wouldn't change based on my body, but who knows really?

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