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A question for sex-repulsed aces


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On 9/8/2020 at 2:27 PM, Ortac said:

Similar to what some other people have already said, for me it's the bodily fluids thing. The idea of any part of my own body coming into contact with fluids from someone else's body repulses me. 

 

The parts of the body that are usually involved in sex are those which are in close proximity to where urine and faecal matter come out, and my mind, rightly or wrongly, makes a link between that and sex. Where it's poo, urine, saliva, or any other kind of bodily fluid, I just don't want to come into contact with it, thank you very much. 

 

I am especially repulsed by the idea of oral sex and mouth coming into contact with these substances. Even just mouth on mouth kissing repulses me; I've never done it and I doubt I could ever bring myself to do it. 

 

I find naked bodies rather unattractive to look at as well, and although that doesn't in itself repulse me, it's another reason to avoid sex.

 

 

I feel ya my friend. EXACTLY how I feel!

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everywhere and nowhere
19 hours ago, sallimae76 said:

Also want to add that genitals are REALLY REALLY ugly!

I've had people tell me that such an attitude is some Horrible Body Negativity and that disliking the appearance of intimate body parts amounts to Hating The Human Body And Life...

Really, if we are told such things, if not wanting to have sex is being framed as "immaturity", "selfishness", "hatred of the biological", how can there be anything surprising about aces feeling alienated? It's like you can't even say anything about your actual feelings outside our community out of fear of being horribly misunderstood...

Well, I'm not that shy anyway, I sometimes speak/write openly about my feelings - but at the price of having to confront a lot of anti-asexual aggression...

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Cyberspace2001
On 9/6/2020 at 11:48 PM, SmaragdineSpellCastor said:

So my question for more repulsed aces, or maybe even sexual people too, is what about sex repulses you? I hope this doesn't come across as rude or anything 'cause that isn't my intention, I'm just generally curious about what about it bothers people, since I'm clueless lol

Nah. You're good Lol.

 

It's really hard to describe. I guess I just don't like the overly touchy nature of it all. Like, I'm fine with hugs and kisses, but when it starts getting more "physical", my reflexes kick in and I shut it down before it goes any further.

 

I don't like exchange of bodily fluids either. I don't understand why people like that sort of stuff. I find it really weird that there are people out there that want those "fluids" in them. It just grosses me out a lot. 

 

Oh and I'm scared of it too. People get diseases such as HIV, AIDS, herpes, gonorrhea, etc. In many cases, those people die. 

 

And top it all off, it just makes me super uncomfortable. Even just talking about it makes me feel uneasy. 

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For me, the exchange of bodily fluids is a problem as well. I just think it's really disgusting.

 

And I'm generally touch averse. An occasional hug from people I know very well is alright but that's about it. I don't even enjoy kissing.

 

When there's a sex scene during a movie, I skip it if it's too long. It just doesn't appeal to me. And I often catch myself wearing a disgusted expression.

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I find sex repulsive since the day i was fully aware of how it works. Just exchange of fluids and chance of getting pregnant is something that makes it horrible for me. I now find it a natural behaviour of humans and animals when it comes to breeding but for the sake of pleasure it still bothers me why would people like this. Like how can someone risk a chance of getting harmful disease or an unwanted responsibility(child) for lifetime for just a pleasurable feeling of few minutes.

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That's a good question. I think it's fairly hard to explain if you're not repulsed yourself, similar to how I have trouble understanding why people enjoy sex, even when it's explained.

 

Anyway, I don't enjoy seeing people naked, for one. And I don't like being touched anywhere private. I don't get pleasure from that.

There's nothing about sex that's appealing to me. And when I imagine someone touching me intimately I get genuinely disgusted. It's a skin-crawling feeling. it makes me feel oddly violated if I dwell on it.

Although I don't want to touch anyone else either, the thought bothers me less than when it's me being touched.

A personal hang up I have is the whole vulnerability aspect of it. I like control.

You're basically powerless if your partner decides to hurt you or goes too far, even if they don't mean to.

But even though I react negatively to sex, I definitely don't mind people who enjoy it. It's just not for me.

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