How do you react when someone takes interest in you?

[Andrea KF]

10 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I am not sure how to answer that.

Hmm, neither am I. Should've read what I wrote before posting it.

 

What I meant is that I never had any interest in those, that I, long after the fact, realised once was interested in me.

 

[succulento]

I'm mostly oblivious but when someone says something clearly suggestive I feel like someone threw a bucket of cold water on me I don't know how to deal with a situation. I had that happen once in my life when I met a new group of friends and I went alone with one guy to get us food a he tried to ask me on a date and I tried to explain that I'm not interested. I thought I was being friendly and helpful by going with him (he didn't know his way around the area) but it turned awkward and I wanted to go back to our full group asap. It's not only when a person flirting with me but even when I'm asked about someone's appearance like 'is he hot'? Why are you asking... The hell I know? It just reminds me that I'm a bit different to people around me

[eriueruid]

I feel exactly the same. I almost feel betrayed when I find out a new friend is romantically interested in me, because I treat them to build a long-lasting friendship, but they would cut me off once they find out I'm not romantically interested. Like OP I'm also trying to see it from the other perspective, but I haven't been able to wrap my head around it yet.

[alexis89]

I'm usually oblivious, but on the rare occasions that I do realise that someone is interested in me, I tend to get really awkward/uncomfortable and just want to run away from the situation.

[Guest]

I tend to react with a mixture of obliviousness and awkwardness, especially if it's interest that is more than just something basic like friendship. I'm usually pretty good at picking up what another person is feeling, but I've noticed that I tend to not pick up on this as well as I do other things. I just tend not to think of myself as interesting in that sort of way. 😕 

 

I am also really shy and introverted IRL, so feeling awkward/uncomfortable/overwhelmed at times comes with the territory. It tends to take me awhile to get used to someone and to feel more comfortable around them. It helps if the interest is mutual, tho.  

[Petra&9]

On 9/2/2020 at 11:52 PM, eriueruid said:

I almost feel betrayed when I find out a new friend is romantically interested in me, because I treat them to build a long-lasting friendship, but they would cut me off once they find out I'm not romantically interested. 

THIS - so much me! 

I've actually become a bit paranoid and cut people off before they can do so ... and surely ruined some promising friendships in the process.   o.O 

 

On 9/2/2020 at 11:52 PM, eriueruid said:

Like OP I'm also trying to see it from the other perspective, but I haven't been able to wrap my head around it yet.

I sometimes feel like Sherlock Holmes seeing the clues but not yet having figured out how to connect them. Sadly I'm nowhere near as smart, so it'll probably take all my life 

[Sisky]

How do I react? Internal urge that is equivalent to a dog snapping at soneone who tries to pet it, instant loss of trust that I'm safe around that person, things like visiting their home are now forever off limits.

 

There's nothing wrong with people being attracted to me, but it sparks a massive need for distance.

[Ortac]

It makes me feel really awkward and I do not like it. I try to ignore it and act like it's not happening; I pretend that I am oblivious to it even if I am not. That's perhaps not the most sensible way to handle it, but I can't bring myself to deal with it any other way.

[Low End Things]

I'd like to answer this question in such a way to talk about the importance of dealing with these situations head on at times, but to the best of my knowledge I've never had someone show interest in me outside of dating apps so I'll just keep reading 😂

[BestofMe0921]

I'm (27m)  the same way. I usually need others to point it out to me. I never know what romantic/sexual attraction is other than getting some weird feelings when i am openly interacting with someone in a platonic way, and they do or say something. Then confusion occurs when something doesn't seem right, and such. I pull away without a word on how to react. No matter the intention. I dont know how to let the situation down effectively.

[hikarin]

I'm only aware of a couple of times people had expressed interest in me, and one of them was back in elementary school (I was pleased, but I didn't like him at all). I only knew because he got me a heart-shaped chocolate for Valentine's day

The second time was at university. The guys just approached me in the hallway one day. We never met each other before, we had different majors, had no shared classes and studied in different buildings. But he came up to me and started chatting me up, and I was very uncomfortable the whole time. Like I said, I didn't know him, and didn't care to hear what he had to say, and in general I found him unattractive, both aesthetically and personality-wise. I don't even remember why I gave him my contact info and why I didn't delete him on social media as soon as possible. But he kept coming up to me, talking to me, trying to invite me to events, and even asked me to let him kiss me, first on the hand and later on the cheek. I think I accepted the hand kiss, mostly because I had been a bit overwhelmed, but I definitely refused the latter. And, in general, I did my best to refuse all kinds of physical contact, since I'm not really comfortable with people touching me. I remember telling him I wasn't interested over a text, telling him his advances might have worked on someone else, but not on me (and I'm not sure if this should have been a sign of me being aro or if this guy just was unpleasant in general. My friend certainly acted like I should be enjoying the attention). I also did my best to project an aura of "I'm not interested in you or anything you have to say" when we ran into each other. And I often ghosted him on sm. leaving him on read for ages and sending clipped messages if I felt obligated to respond. I remember he even tried to meet up with me on my birthday to give me a present, evven though we'd only met, like, 5 times by that point

Eventually I changed unis, so I don't see him anymore. But he still writes to me sometimes, and I always freak out a bit when that happens. That whole experience was extremelly unpleasant, and I spent every moment in his presence wishing he would either take a hint and leave me alone or lose interest and find someone else to bother

Pretty sure that's still going to be my reaction the next time someone starts liking me