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Im new and confused


Tayloraustine

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Tayloraustine

I didnt know being asexual, demisexual or graysexual was a thing.

 

I've always had really low self esteem so I usually behave how I think I'm supposed to be behave.

 

I've been sexual, but it disgusts me. Sometimes I have panic attacks and it shocks me and the other individual as well. 

 

I've had a history of substance abuse and alcoholism, but I'm in recovery now. For the most particular, most of my sexual interactions have been while drunk or on drugs. I have minimal interest in others. Sometimes I want attention, but I dont like that awkward situation when the other person wants more. 

 

For a long time, I thought that I must have some sort of trauma that made me like this... I never concidered that I could just be wired differently.

 

I have so many questions! I am so curious. I could be demi-sexual. Im interested in someone every 3 or so years, but not in a sexual way.... power and dysfunction usually intrigue me.

 

Does this sound familiar to anyone???

 

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Hello! Welcome to AVEN 🍰

 

5 hours ago, Tayloraustine said:

I have so many questions! I am so curious. I could be demi-sexual. Im interested in someone every 3 or so years, but not in a sexual way.... power and dysfunction usually intrigue me.

 

Does this sound familiar to anyone???

I'm not really sure what you mean by "power and dysfunction", but as a demisexual, the definition is experiencing sexual attraction toward another person only after a strong emotional bond has been achieved. I've never heard of romantic interest fluctuating based on time, but I wouldn't put it past anybody! I'm not sure if demisexual is the right definition though... If you have any more specific questions feel free to ask!

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DarkStormyKnight

Hello!!!! We're so happy you joined AVEN! It sounds like you've had one heck of a journey to get here, but I'm glad that you're in recovery now, and I hope that you find the threads here useful for exploring your identity!

It's a bit of a tradition to present newcomers with cake, so here you go!

img_20200108_110630-01.jpeg?w=1200

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Welcome! Demisexuality is based on how well you know the person and for how long rather than the time between attractions. Grey-asexuals experience sexual attraction either incredibly rarely or only under specific circumstances. Asexuals experience no sexual attraction. 

I recommend looking into the types of attraction, here’s a sketchcomic to get you started :) 

la-fo-proof-chocolate-cake-20160213&f=1&

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Tayloraustine

I dont experience sexual attraction, but occasionally I like others, but not in a sexual way. 

17 hours ago, SmaragdineSpellCastor said:

Hello! Welcome to AVEN 🍰

 

I'm not really sure what you mean by "power and dysfunction", but as a demisexual, the definition is experiencing sexual attraction toward another person only after a strong emotional bond has been achieved. I've never heard of romantic interest fluctuating based on time, but I wouldn't put it past anybody! I'm not sure if demisexual is the right definition though... If you have any more specific questions feel free to ask!

I guess what I'm saying, is that it doesn't happen often. And it's romantic and not sexual 

Maybe I'm more confused than I thought? 

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Tayloraustine
13 hours ago, DarkStormyKnight said:

Hello!!!! We're so happy you joined AVEN! It sounds like you've had one heck of a journey to get here, but I'm glad that you're in recovery now, and I hope that you find the threads here useful for exploring your identity!

It's a bit of a tradition to present newcomers with cake, so here you go!

img_20200108_110630-01.jpeg?w=1200

Thank you for the cake 

 

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Aquatic Paradox
10 hours ago, Tayloraustine said:

I dont experience sexual attraction, but occasionally I like others, but not in a sexual way. 

I guess what I'm saying, is that it doesn't happen often. And it's romantic and not sexual 

Maybe I'm more confused than I thought? 

You could be demiromantic or greyromantic....

 

There are loads of other labels related to romantic orientation, probably because romantic feelings aren't easy to describe.

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  • 2 weeks later...
NickyTannock

A very belated welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be a Greyromantic Asexual.

http://wiki.asexuality.org/Romantic_orientation

http://wiki.asexuality.org/Sexual_orientation

 

It might also help to know that there are different types of attraction;

There's sexual attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone (This is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex).

There's romantic attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship (I still don't know what that is, I'm aromantic).

There's sensual attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling and sometimes kissing.

There's aesthetic attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's platonic attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.

 

I wish you luck with figuring yourself out.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Puzzle" cake,

https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/281806-puzzle-cake

rubqsj2qfdzbrssupsd6.jpg

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the-ace-of-hearts

We, as humans, try to label things that defy them. There is a spectrum, and there is space here for anyone who needs it. You are here, and you are valid. It takes a while to figure out, but I'm here if you need it and so are all of us.

33121c6f-4048-4b80-8319-fd3b7dda9ed8.jpg

 

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