Knight8 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 I've though I could be ace for a while now and am just recently looking into it. Honestly I'm not big on labels so just knowing I'm probably under the umbrella somewhere is fine by me, but idk something in my brain is trying to make a big deal out of it. My friends are all super awesome and my sister is actually out as biromantic asexual so I don't have any problems on that front. My boyfriend (also super awesome) is actually the first person I told that I might be ace because he happened to mention cake when I was texting him and also on aven (and I couldn't very well not tell him how appropriate that was.) We can talk about most things with each other, and we actually got in an argument one time about who would break off the relationship (we both thought it'd be the other.) Afterwards, I realized he's probably right and that I'm more likely to lose romantic interest in him (though he's a very interesting person so I wouldn't want to cut ties even if we did break up.) We talked about it and came to the conclusion that he'd more likely become interested in someone else, but since he feels a strong romantic and sexual attraction towards me as well as a great interest in me as a person, he's less likely to end the relationship, especially because he has some trouble distinguishing the three so if one faded a bit it could be hard to tell. I have little/no sexual attraction as far as I know, but I am very interested in him both romantically and as a person. However, other romantic interests I've had often didn't last a long time (I have no reference point for other relationships) and I'm kinda scared that I may lose the romantic feelings I have for him. I'm not really sure if this fear relates to my romantic and/or sexual orientation, or if it's normal to fear your love for someone diminishing. I mean yeah, no one wants to stop loving their romantic partner, but actually knowing I'm more likely to break it off than he is kind of freaks me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Robbins Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 No one likes to be labeled. It's not fun, even if it's a good label. Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are as a person, not where they stand in certain areas. It sounds like a fear of loss exists in you. I understand that all too well. It's not fun. You want someone who will accept you and your "situation" as we'll call it but I get you don't want to lose him either. It's a tough spot Link to post Share on other sites
Knight8 Posted August 6, 2020 Author Share Posted August 6, 2020 Thanks for the response! It's nice to know there are people listening to my words.😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Yellow Highlighter Posted September 8, 2020 Share Posted September 8, 2020 My guy has always been more steadfast in his certainty and I have been more emotional and fearful. We went as slow as I needed to go. Conversations on the same topic happened again and again. Eventually we decided that commitment to the relationship was the right decision. It is okay for a relationship to end. Sometimes it is the healthy thing to do. I hope you have more control your decisions than your fear. Link to post Share on other sites
Knight8 Posted September 8, 2020 Author Share Posted September 8, 2020 I most certainly do. I was much more fearful a month ago when I posted that but I’d say I’m doing pretty well now. I appreciate your response and that’s definitely some good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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