Chloe88 Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 17 minutes ago, 11bbd112-5aa0-47f2-9209-07 said: I received a rather sexual message 17 minutes ago, 11bbd112-5aa0-47f2-9209-07 said: accused of being gay or having a tiny dick That's normal when it comes to online dating. It's not a good experience! Link to post Share on other sites
Chloe88 Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 It's best not to reply to these people, just block and move on. As to your question why they are rude, well, they're pathetic people who hide behind screens, they are losers. Don't take it personally, they abuse and insult a lot of people. That's what they do. When it comes to dating now there are no manners involved and insults are thrown around freely. The standard of people is really rock bottom on dating sites. Link to post Share on other sites
Eutierria Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 @11bbd112-5aa0-47f2-9209-07 Don't know if you know about this thread: Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 Okcupid lets you set the kind of people you are and want. So lesbians for instance won't usually get shown matches from straight men and they won't see her, and asexuals should encounter no to few sexuals. I've tried it and it almost always works -- if it's not working, something must be set wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Phalena Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 1 hour ago, 11bbd112-5aa0-47f2-9209-07 said: Well, am I allowed to say no or not? Do they have to hit where it hurts because I don't want to do things I'm not comfortable with? (I was considered effeminate at a younger age and I'm on the smaller side so those insults do have a bit of weight even though I know they are generic insults, they just reinforce that they are go-to things to make fun of me, that makes me want to open up to people even less) Like, just unmatch and move on. Why do they have to be rude about it? Not sure whether this has occurred to you or where you live but some countries have new "hotlines" now or applications that you can fill out to give unwanted pictures to the police. Blocking is good to keep your sanity alive but getting unwanted dick-pics are not acceptable behaviour and need to be punished. Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 Trolls enjoy the apparent powerlessness of people's inability to strike back at them. They love it, it's apparently a huge adrenaline rush to see someone get upset but be completely unable to do anything more than type furiously. The only thing the trolls don't want is silence and a block. I've been told that being completely ignored is actually painful to some trolls, they feel actually almost attacked or slighted when they're completely ignored. I was shocked when I heard this years ago, but that mentality they have is so alien to me anyway. They really want to see a reaction more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 Dating sites really aren't built around aces. Most of the people who frequent these sites are generally after one thing in particular. Quote Swiping somebody left and right by dragging their face to a no or yes stamp felt very guilt inducing, sort of commodifying like I'm in a supermarket. It's literally referred to as a meat market for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 If you're on okcupid, don't swipe until you've read their profiles, unless you're truly, truly sure it's a no. Then it shouldn't feel so shallow. It will take a little longer, but that's how it goes. Judging people's personalities isn't supposed to be rapid-fire fast like tinder. Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Never sympathize with people whose intention is trying to hurt you for pleasure, whether they are "correct" or otherwise. Never, ever sympathize. If they were simply stating a fact and were too socially inept to understand that it's an insult, you could technically say "I see where you're coming from." But if they are saying, on the inside, "I hope this hurts," then to say "I understand, I get why you said that" well, that's a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 Yeah I hate the commodification aspect of it as well. Just feels like you have to market yourself and then make snap judgments about other people. I will say that I've been on Hinge for a couple of weeks and it has gotten easier, so hang in there if you want to power through. No worries if you decide to drop it though, I'm unconvinced that I won't delete the stupid app tomorrow but for now it works. Link to post Share on other sites
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