TheFairestWitch Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 I am not sure where the heck to begin this and I honestly don't want to make it some long dramatic post. 🙄 I am a Xennial and can't believe that it has taken me this long to even consider or realize that I might be anything other than just a straight female. I have had many health issues with pain and my thyroid so I have always blamed that on why I never got into a serious relationship or date or marry etc... But even before the health issues began I never expressed much interest in dating or pursuing anyone. I had many crushes and experimented and even went on some dates, flirted and partied....but always prefered to be alone at the end of the night. I didn't like sharing my space with anyone. I did however enjoy the social aspect of hanging with friends both guys and girls. I just loved the company and the conversation. But now as an adult I am in a very sad place. Well on some levels. I have a great job and a best friend who understands me. But it is my family who talked behind my back, saying well she must be gay and what is wrong with her, and she spends too much time with her best friend, maybe they are a couple. It doesn't make sense. My aunt told me what other family were saying but none ever had the courtesy to just ask me or talk to me without just gossiping. Now none of them are in my life now, but it was my choice. I know they would pick up the phone and talk to me and tell me they love me but I am tooo freaking MAD and such a stubborn fiery🔥 ♈ that I just won't address it. It's been two years. And then co-workers and even a former best friend would say why aren't you into boys, why won't you talk about it with me. Why won't you go out with so and so. He likes you. On and on and on. Anyway I think I am Asexual akoiromantic? I haven't found much info on this one. I am still learning though. We just didn't have this information easily accessible in the 90's. I don't know how I survived, but it was a very grungy era so I never felt that alienated. 👾 Everyone was different. I grew up listening to Garbage and Queer was the most played song on the radio. Thank you 90's!!!! It helped. BTW I like oreo cookie and cheese-cake. I mean I just really really really love CAKE! Especially the band CAKE. Yup! Anyway thanks to anyone who listened to this. I haven't discussed this with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
SilverMarten Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Hey @TheFairestWitch Welcome to Aven! Here is an Oreo cake! Link to post Share on other sites
TheFairestWitch Posted July 31, 2020 Author Share Posted July 31, 2020 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Welcome! Oreo cupcakes it is Link to post Share on other sites
TheAsexualYogi Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Welcome to Aven! 🍰 As a cheesecake lover I had to say hi Cutting your ties with family is really hard, but sometimes we can't waste our precious life hours on people who can't accept us. And as adults we can have our own definition of a family and no one can tell you otherwise Anyways welcome! -TAY Link to post Share on other sites
Tintintiens Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Welcome! Thank you for teaching me 2 new words: Xennials and akoiromantic! 🙂 I always thought I am Gen X, but Xennial seems to fit much better. Its weird to be of this age and to realize that there is more to one's identity than one thought, isn't it? I am sorry you had such a negative experience with your family. It is hurtful when people gossip about you who should be having your back. There was a time where I had the impression that my family was talking about me, too. And I suspect that some still do. At least one of them stopped asking stupid questions when I got angry and said: "Am I being defined by being with a man???" (The question does not translate well into English) 🙃 But maybe the dumb questions about when I am going to bring a boyfriend also stopped because they think that all hope is lost at my age? Ha. Anyway, good for you for standing up for yourself. I hope that this forum will bring you the answers you are looking for and that the situation with your family will develop (or not) in the way you want it to be. All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
TheFairestWitch Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 On 8/3/2020 at 4:47 PM, Tintintiens said: Welcome! Thank you for teaching me 2 new words: Xennials and akoiromantic! 🙂 I always thought I am Gen X, but Xennial seems to fit much better. Its weird to be of this age and to realize that there is more to one's identity than one thought, isn't it? I am sorry you had such a negative experience with your family. It is hurtful when people gossip about you who should be having your back. There was a time where I had the impression that my family was talking about me, too. And I suspect that some still do. At least one of them stopped asking stupid questions when I got angry and said: "Am I being defined by being with a man???" (The question does not translate well into English) 🙃 But maybe the dumb questions about when I am going to bring a boyfriend also stopped because they think that all hope is lost at my age? Ha. Anyway, good for you for standing up for yourself. I hope that this forum will bring you the answers you are looking for and that the situation with your family will develop (or not) in the way you want it to be. All the best! Thank you! I get a good vibe about the community and it definitely feels nice when you find people who can relate to your situation. What I don't understand is why they think the way they live is the only way to live. I signed up to come to earth to experience it my way! Anyway you are certainly not defined by being with a man, but they teach us that your soulmate is the person you marry and settle down with. People don't understand the meaning of soul mate. It's not necessarily a lover. It can be anyone you have a strong bond with. A best friend, a mother, a sister etc.. all can be your soulmate. OK thanks for nice welcome guys! Link to post Share on other sites
cody882 Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Welcome and you’ll always have a place here. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 A very belated welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's an "Oreo Cookie" cake, https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/199918-oreo-cookie Link to post Share on other sites
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