demi girl maybe

[Rin Kagamine]

Hey, so I just don't know what to think xD.

I've been relatively girly most my life but went through tomboyish phases. But now I'm a mix but mostly girly. I like to wear makeup and paint nails and all but I also like some boyish things too. (I think boys have more fun honestly) At 15 i had a thought of being trans, but i was so girly at that moment and eventually I just discarded the thought. Now at 20 im suspecting I might be a demi girl. But at 20 i feel people would judge me for it.. my mom and dad would not accept me and think i was copying my non binary friend. But how do i know if im a demi girl? Sometimes I wanna wear hoodies and do boy makeup to look a bit boyish xD! And maybe act it a bit, Is it too late at 20?

[Guest]

It's not too late at 20, but try to remember that gender isn't gender roles. You can be masculine without being male. Your clothing and hobbies are not your gender. You can explore your gender through self expression, but listing your hobbies and aesthetic preferences doesn't tell me much. Girls can wear hoodies and be masculine. Boys can wear dresses and be feminine. How do you feel about your body? What gender were you assigned at birth? (I'm assuming female but I'm not sure.) Do you experience dysphoria when addressed with certain pronouns?

 

You can be an androgynous or masculine woman without being trans. Try to explore that first.

[Guest]

Also, look into the experiences of cis women who are drag kings. Without further information, you sound like a cis young woman to me- perhaps gender nonconforming in some way, but cis nonetheless. Someone who might enjoy the expression of drag. You could be trans, but try not to jump onto that label before you've explored being female. Because it sounds like you do identify with your birth gender. Hence, cis.

[Rin Kagamine]

19 minutes ago, tony the trans man said:

It's not too late at 20, but try to remember that gender isn't gender roles. You can be masculine without being male. Your clothing and hobbies are not your gender. You can explore your gender through self expression, but listing your hobbies and aesthetic preferences doesn't tell me much. Girls can wear hoodies and be masculine. Boys can wear dresses and be feminine. How do you feel about your body? What gender were you assigned at birth? (I'm assuming female but I'm not sure.) Do you experience dysphoria when addressed with certain pronouns?

 

You can be an androgynous or masculine woman without being trans. Try to explore that first.

Yes i was born a girl 😆😊 

[Rin Kagamine]

Just to clarify, i only feel this way sometimes lol, but (sorry if this is too much) i never cared about having a woman body as in like if i had small boobs (xD) i wouldnt care same as hips, well sometimes i want a woman body, but ideally i want a skinny small body, which may be due to eating disorders rather than the whole gender thing. But idk maybe its relevant? 😆

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Alicina said:

Just to clarify, i only feel this way sometimes lol, but (sorry if this is too much) i never cared about having a woman body as in like if i had small boobs (xD) i wouldnt care same as hips, well sometimes i want a woman body, but ideally i want a skinny small body, which may be due to eating disorders rather than the whole gender thing. But idk maybe its relevant? 😆

Honestly, this doesn't sound like gender dysphoria, this sounds more like body dysmorphia*. As in, body image issues experienced by all kinds of people (cis and trans), regarding such things as body weight and stature. If you're experiencing such body image issues but you just identify as a demigirl rather than deal with them, I would worry you'd be sacrificing personal progress for a label.

 

When I was pre-transition, I wanted to be thin and suppress my secondary sex characteristics because I wanted to look like a boy. That's the key difference. A non-binary friend of mine bound their chest and dressed in neutral clothing because they wanted to appear not-female. So you have to identify why you feel a certain way about your body, and why you're drawn to certain things. You could just be an androgynous cis woman. It happens.

 

You could be trans in the sense that anything is possible, but due to the fact that coming out can be difficult and gruelling, just try to explore this privately before you take the label to your family and say you identify with it. Because it sounds like you're very much still figuring it all out.

 

Do you experience gender dysphoria which would motivate you to move faster than that?

 

*Edited because I wrote the wrong thing initially.

[Rin Kagamine]

7 minutes ago, tony the trans man said:

Honestly, this doesn't sound like gender dysphoria, this sounds more like gender dysmorphia. As in, body image issues experienced by all kinds of people (cis and trans), regarding such things as body weight and stature. If you're experiencing such body image issues but you just identify as a demigirl rather than deal with them, I would worry you'd be sacrificing personal progress for a label.

 

When I was pre-transition, I wanted to be thin and suppress my secondary sex characteristics because I wanted to look like a boy. That's the key difference. A non-binary friend of mine bound their chest and dressed in neutral clothing because they wanted to appear not-female. So you have to identify why you feel a certain way about your body, and why you're drawn to certain things. You could just be an androgynous cis woman. It happens.

 I don't quite think its due to me having issues w my body, but hey i could be wrong idkkk xD, ive not liked my body even before this xD 🤭, 

[Rin Kagamine]

So to update things, i decided to try it out and see if it fits. Maybe im just going through a phase at 20 🤣. But i have so many people who i cant tell irl. My dad dont even know im bi ffs 🤣🤣

[Karekare]

It's good to try things out! I've known a couple of people who thought they were ftm but ended up just having low self esteem, there's nothing wrong with testing the waters to see if it fits you. 

 

I also agree with @tony the trans man on this. I think it's good if you want to try out the label and see if it makes you feel good about yourself, but hobbies, aesthetics, and items aren't gendered (and shouldn't be honestly)

 

For example one of my friends is a cis girl, but she likes having super short hair and even wearing a binder sometimes (she's a butch lesbian). I'm a guy, but I really like gardens and flowers a lot, which tend to be labelled as more "feminine".

 

If being a demi-girl makes you feel super comfortable with yourself, then you're a demi-girl. But liking certain things doesn't ascertain your gender I'm afraid.