Nins Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Hello from France!  I'm a newbie, although no spring chicken. 😉 in my 40's, married with one child. I have always been different about sex and looking over my dating history every relationship has followed the same pattern. I always thought there was something wrong with me up until recently when I stumbled across an article about asexuality and had that "ahhh haaa" moment like I'm sure many older asexuals have had. My husband doesnt cope with it very well and at the moment is pressuring me into going to see a sex therapist. The idea of it already feels traumatic to me, someone trying to fix me into being sexual. I dont want to be fixed because I dont feel broken, I'm perfectly happy with the way i am. I havent told him I think I'm asexual, I want to learn more about it first before I go making any statements. I'm looking forwards to getting support from other married people who may be going through the same stuff as myself. It feels such a relief to know I'm no longer alone with this.  Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Welcome to AVEN, since it's traditional to present new people with cake and since you're french, you might like this croissant cake: Â Or you might call it blasphemy... Â Anyway, there's no age limit when it comes to realising you're asexual and it might be worth informing your husband that you are not unique in this respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Nins Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 33 minutes ago, iCicero said: Welcome to AVEN, since it's traditional to present new people with cake and since you're french, you might like this croissant cake: Yum! Thankyou for the cake, I feel 10 pounds heavier just looking at it! 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Runner Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Hi and welcome! I have made a similar self discovery recently and found my way here. I'm 46 years old and have been married for 24 with a son. My wife actually pointed me to look into asexuality. And the 2 weeks since have been an insane emotional rollercoaster. Like you, it seemed like a big ahhh haaa moment for me and explained years and years of trying to "fix" myself to no avail. My wife is a hopeless romantic so this has all been very very hard for her to deal with. I don't blame her. I wish I had had this self discovery so long ago! Lots of other complicating factors in our life. I hope having a better understanding of myself will enable us to finally move forward in some fashion. I hope your husband can be understanding! I read "The Invisible Orientation" and highly recommend it! Â Link to post Share on other sites
Nins Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 25 minutes ago, Ace Runner said: "The Invisible Orientation" and highly recommend it! Thanks for the cake and the book recommendation. I just found it on Amazon and ordered. Maybe I'll leave it lying around in hope that my husband will pick it up and we can start a conversation about it without me having to find that awkward moment! Thanks for reaching out, it's nice to hear about this from another married persons experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Runner Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 50 minutes ago, Nins said: Thanks for the cake and the book recommendation. I just found it on Amazon and ordered. Maybe I'll leave it lying around in hope that my husband will pick it up and we can start a conversation about it without me having to find that awkward moment! Thanks for reaching out, it's nice to hear about this from another married persons experience. I bought the Kindle version, but physical copy would be nice to share after finished. A lot of good information! My wife has been supportive but also wants answers and strategies now which is hard. Takes some time to process! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Welcome! Or should I say Bienvenue? I’m afraid my French is a bit rusty these days  Link to post Share on other sites
Nins Posted July 29, 2020 Author Share Posted July 29, 2020 That's ok! My English is fluent. I'm duel nationality. 😉 Thankyou for the cake and for the bienvenue In French. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 A belated welcome to AVEN!  I'm glad that you don't feel wrong or alone anymore. Unfortunately, from what I understand, a lot of therapists don't accept asexuality, so I could see them trying to make you sexual. If you want to know more about asexuality, there's a short book that you can read online for free: http://www.asexualityarchive.com/book/  Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Les Misérables" cake, https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/59755-les-miserables Link to post Share on other sites
Nins Posted July 31, 2020 Author Share Posted July 31, 2020 Thankyou for the welcome, the cake and the good vibes. 😉 I will read the link you sent me. This is all new for me ( not the situation but the discovery of asexual ) so all the info possible is welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 You're welcome! And I hope you find the book useful! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.