sababajwa Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 or would you still be with a sexual person and compromise? i compromised but all i care about is emotions..... even now. Link to post Share on other sites
MaryPenelope Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Depends on the compromise. I'm open to potentially experimenting with certain sexual things (I am curious about a few of them), and I think I'd be fine with being in some kind of polyam/semi-open relationship where they have another partner they have sex with, but since I've never been in a relationship, I'm not entirely sure Seems like being with another ace would be easier though... Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 My ideal relationship is with my current partner, so a sexual. But if I were not with someone I want to stay with, I wouldn't say if I wanted to be with an asexual or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Artila Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Well tbh it would be a good start for me. I'd never had to worry about the others desires never being met and me overwhelming myself. I've never been in a relationship but someone who has my desires and lack of would be an ideal first partner. However these people are rather rare to find, I fear, so I am probably also fine with a sexual who is careful with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 If I was that into compromising I probably would've been in and stayed in a real relationship by now. I don't compromise any more than the other person so if they don't like me for it then I don't like them for it either. As a demi-sexual I can develop sexual attraction but it doesn't always mean I seek a sexual relationship, if at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Raindrops Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 It's difficult to imagine myself in a relationship currently so I'm not really sure. I think I would only ever 'date' someone I knew inside and out, someone I'd known for years, so I'll only really know when it gets to that point 🤔 I suppose if I had someone who really meant the world to me then I may be willing to be sexual with them, but as of right now I can't picture that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Current partner is a fit for my personality and interests and sex is comprise-able. Potentially an Asexual to Asexual relationship without the expectation of sex is preferred, but that option is spread thin with the interests, personality, similar experiences, disabilities and gender preference/differences. Current relationship is long distance and over 3 years old, put on hold for 6 months now due to Lockdown. Moved to Asexual Relationships Janus DarkFox Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Evobessive Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 I would need to be with someone who is also asexual, since I'm sex repulsed so I can't comprimise on that front. Apart from that, I just would like them to be kind, supportive and easy to get on with. Link to post Share on other sites
A-Panda Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Of course, being with another ace sounds rather ideal. But, as has been said, that would be a rare stroke of luck. I'm sex-indifferent, so I can compromise - but as my past has taught me, only to a certain degree before resentment begins to build, and that degree might not be enough for a sexual partner on the long run. So a sexual significant other would need to be ready to compromise, too, or as open to open/polyamourous arrangements as I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 I'd say my optimum relationship would be cohabiting best friends, to be there to share the good times, support each other through bad times, and occasionally simply to be company. Occasionally a companionable silence is much better than being alone. Certainly in my case, anything beyond huggles and snuggles would be a nope Link to post Share on other sites
Jea Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 I've never been in a relationship so my answer is not based on experience, but at the moment I think it would be with an asexual, it seems it'd be simpler. Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 Ideally my partner would be asexual. I got married before I found that out and still very much love my partner. We have an open relationship so no longer having sex together which has been neat, but yeah being with someone who saw what I have to offer as the total package would be part of the ideal relationship Link to post Share on other sites
impliedExpletives Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 I would also find another asexual the ideal relationship partner, but I got married before I figured that out. It would be nice to know that my SO finds me enough just as I am. My husband is pansexual and we're currently discussing the idea of opening our relationship but with the current state of the world it will likely be quite some time before we move forward with that idea. Link to post Share on other sites
CaramelCoffeeCake Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 No compromise for me. Before I found out about my asexuality, I already decided that I didn't want to have sex anymore (I just couldn't do it anymore) and I lived for 7 years without it (and not missing it) before finding out. It made so much sense. I had even gone on a few dating websites stating exactly that on my profile (before I found Aven forum). Think I've been getting more and more sex-repulsed or should I say I've gone from sex-positive to neutral to averse. I may be dangling between averse and repulsed and I never want anyone's genitalia near mine. I'm okay with others doing what they want though, just don't need to see it. So my ideal relationship is with someone who doesn't want to ever have sex again (whether sexual or asexual). Link to post Share on other sites
CaramelCoffeeCake Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 Of course there's more to what would make it an ideal relationship than just the sexuality/sex part. We have to be compatible in other important ways. Link to post Share on other sites
CaramelCoffeeCake Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 11 hours ago, Skycaptain said: I'd say my optimum relationship would be cohabiting best friends, to be there to share the good times, support each other through bad times, and occasionally simply to be company. Occasionally a companionable silence is much better than being alone. Certainly in my case, anything beyond huggles and snuggles would be a nope Same here. Link to post Share on other sites
CaramelCoffeeCake Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 I like to call it a 'companionship' or 'partnership'. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted July 24, 2020 Share Posted July 24, 2020 No romance for me TYVM. Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Well, i am sexual and my everyday unfulfilled need is to be mutually sexually desired and Not a day goes by without me dreaming about that from my ace wife. Not gonna happen. ....but she is still my best. Link to post Share on other sites
Moshiyare Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Here's my problem: I'm more interested in a QPR but at the same time, I want a child of my own with my lawfully wedded partner, EXCEPT I'm a sex repulsed asexual so an IVF is probably the way to go but then everyone would be like: you can do it for free if you yada yada. Anyway, to answer your question, YES, I'd prefer it if my partner was asexual. I'm not sure I have a say in having an open relationship because I've never been in a relationship to begin with. I will not be able to compromise because I'm extremely sex repulsed. It would be a traumatic experience for me. At the moment, I'm just hoping to complete my education without thinking too much on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyn Corinn Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 I could probably only be in a relationship with another asexual. Sex is pretty much physically impossible for me, so compromise isn't really something I can do. I guess my ideal partner would be an ace with the same fetish as me, but uh...I don't think that's likely to happen. At this point, just meeting another ace that I'm also emotionally compatible with would be a miracle. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetIcedTea Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 I'm very undecided because I am sex positive. I found out I was ace (specifically aego) in the middle of my relationship with an allo and he was supportive of me. I plan on having sex, but my allo partner will need to understand that sex with never be a big deal for me and that I prefer kissing and cuddling. I am unsure if I can be in a relationship with someone who is sex-repulsed because I like the idea of intimacy behind sex, not the actual act itself (I know that doesn't make much sense). My issue is that I'm celibate for spiritual reasons and guys I've talked to have a problem with that. Link to post Share on other sites
brbdogsonfire Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 On 7/21/2020 at 9:29 PM, sababajwa said: or would you still be with a sexual person and compromise? i compromised but all i care about is emotions..... even now. Yes my ideal relationship is with an asexual. We have issues clearly communicating at times but I have never felt able to really open myself up and talk about sensitive issues like I do with my partner. I still have work to do in this area but for the first time in my life I've felt I can trust my partner to hear me out and not look down on me for my emotional hangups. The longer our relationship has gone on the less important sex has become for me. I'm heterosexual but have experiences that make me dislike a lot of sexuality in society. Link to post Share on other sites
HibernoHistorian Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 If I knew I was asexual before beginning a relationship, I think I definitely would have preferred to seek out a partner who was also ace. But I didn't find out until a few months before I was going to be married, and although sex is sometimes is a bit of a trouble-spot for us, I'm quite happy with our relationship and I wouldn't want somebody else. But I do wish I had known sooner, if nothing else just so that we could have had more time to work through it before getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
Eutierria Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Having never dated another ace, I have no experience to draw from. It is something that in theory at least seems idealistic. I don't think both being ace would be enough. There would need to be compatibility between communication styles, shared values & how we see the world together. I'm not dismissing the possibility that a demisensual and/or demisexual ace & an allo could potentially have a more compatible relationship than two aces though. Link to post Share on other sites
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