Age You First Identified As Asexual / Aromantic or on the spectrum(s) of the two

[Rainy Robin]

Just curious to see when people first thought they might be aro / ace / on the spectrums.  

 

 

[Madelise]

I came to the realization that I'm on the aro/ace spectrums late last year, so when I was 16. If I really would've looked into it more before that, I probably would've found out that I'm demi (demiromantic at least) when I was like 15, maybe 14.

[SithLord]

After I graduated high school and around the time I met my bf, so 19 I'd say. 

[Rainy Robin]

Similar to @Elise Jennings I think I would've figured it out sooner too if I had looked it up earlier. I didn't realize I might be ace / arospec until a few months ago (at 21) when I started learning more about sexual orientations and realized the bisexual label didn't work for me 😆

[GingerRose]

Still waiting...

[Gamma/kimera]

first thought about it at 19....figured it out at 25...had about 5 years of denial.   Fully accepted the label around my 30th birthday

[Salmakia]

26 minutes ago, Rainy_Robin said:

I think I would've figured it out sooner too if I had looked it up earlier.

Yeah, same. I figured it out last year (so age 19) but my earliest memory of being confused/uninterested in sex and romance was age 12. I just didn't have a word for the feelings back then.

[NickyTannock]

I was around 14 years old. The realisation came when I started hearing sexual and romantic comments from my peers and in media and felt bewildered by them.

[Janus the Fox]

Moved to Census Forum

 

Janus DarkFox

Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator

[Janus the Fox]

About 23 is when I first realized about sexual identity nearly 10 years ago, not long later I identified with AroAce.

[Rhyn Corinn]

17 (though I would have likely known at 14 had I heard of asexuality then...)

[iff]

22 or 23

[Skycaptain]

42, never heard of asexuality until then 

[Aquatic Paradox]

I first identified as asexual at 23, but I knew something was off in my early teens.

[fooledbysecrecy]

discovered asexuality was a thing at 25. still figuring out the romantic orientation.

[Echevera]

I've always known i was aro and I knew I was ace the moment heard about sex, but I didn't have a term for it until I was around 13.

[sababajwa]

since birth haha, i just didn't know the name i thought i was alone in this until i was like 23 and saw a video of david jay.

[Enim]

I was 14/15 I think, I saw a tumblr post going around that explained the different sexualities under the ace umbrella, thought that the term demisexual fitted really well, did some research and identified with it since then (I am now 22) ^^

[Theacechemist]

January of this year so 19. would have made my previous and only relationship a lots less bad. much of the contention was at a deep rooted level insecurities caused by me unknowing being asexual. oh well the past is the past and now I'm finally ready to try to date again (I think) 

[Mirimiri]

I first thought I might be ace/aro when I was 13 or so, but I thought I was too young to know that for sure, so I didn't start openly identifying as ace until I was 16, two standard deviations outside the average age of first sexual attraction.

[Kikuhiko]

The first time I thought about it was when I was 16 because a friend of mine told everyone that I was (I wasn't even familiar with the concept), I remember I got really flustered and since I wasn't even sure what it meant I immediately denied it, later I looked it up and while it sort off made sense I thought it was a silly idea and that such a thing couldn't exist at all, so rather than thinking about that I concentrated on having relationships and majorly screwing them up for a really long time.

 

It wasn't until I was 26 that I started seriously considering the idea and started to take it seriously and a bit later I finally admitted it to myself, though it's not something I discuss openly with people, I find it too stressful so I guess I'm technically still in the closet but I'm pretty sure my siblings know as well as at least 3 friends.

[alexis89]

I was 18/19, but I knew something was different about me in high school, I had just never heard about asexuality until I was in university. I'm pretty sure I would have figured it out sooner if I had known asexuality was a thing in high school

[BeADreamer]

I was 17 when I first heard the word, but unfortunately, I was one of those people who thought the word could only be used in a biological context. So I dismissed it. But then my sister mentioned something about demisexuality and gave a definition outright, so I started looking into it and I rediscovered the term asexual. I was 18 when I figured it out and 20 when I stopped doubting it. But I always felt “off” compared to my peers in this regard, I just didn’t have a name for it. Reading my old diary entries from middle/high school confirms that. And I don’t believe I even thought to consider I might be on the aro spectrum until I was 20 because I had had one romantic crush before... but only one. And that was years ago.

[Andrea KF]

34

[cato]

I had a brief period of thinking I was bisexual when I was 14 because I recognized I didn't pine for one sex over the other, but I thought that because the only options I was even aware of at the time were straight, gay, and bisexual, and I knew I wasn't the first two.  It hadn't occurred me one could not be on the sexuality spectrum at all.  I honestly have no idea exactly when or how I came across the term, but I know I landed on the term asexual a year later at 15, though.

[FaerySilverwings]

Let's see... started offhand saying I was "borderline asexual" but not identifying myself as anything past that at around 25-ish... and actually figured out enough of my real identity to come out to myself and understand that it was a real thing about two weeks ago, age 29.

 

I think I'd have identified as ace/aro a lot earlier if I'd been around people more when I was younger, or had a reason to investigate the terms earlier. (or, well, if the terms had even been a thing when I was a teenager.)

 

Weirdly, I actually knew several openly ace folks in real life during my first round of university, but since I was trying to avoid some very intense people in our mutual social circle and no one ever brought up sexuality/romance stuff around me... (I guess because I didn't seem interested?) or gave me space or reason to talk about my own experiences... I somehow missed getting this figured out ten years ago.

 

I have to say, it's comforting to see other "older" people commenting here. I don't feel nearly as behind-the-curve as I usually do.

[will123]

I'm split on this I identified as asexual back when I was 44. I didnt realise what aromantic meant until two years ago when I was 56.

[kenny.]

17

[Guest]

27

[Guest]

20, 21 for ace. Took me ten more years for aro.