Why are cupiosexuals generally invalidated on AVEN but demisexuals are not?

[Neptune14]

18 hours ago, PanFicto. said:

okay I quickly glanced at some of your other posts and you more seem to be saying you'd be open to trying to sex because you heard it feels good. Many aces feel that way (though sadly they're often disappointed because if you don't innately desire it, it's hard to truly enjoy it). Cupiosexuals often say things like ''I love sex and need it to be happy in my life, I just don't care who I have it with'' and that's why people in the ace community are like 'well... there are many (allo)sexual people like that. they don't all base their desire for sex solely on appearance!!', so hopefully that makes more sense. Wondering if maybe you'd want sex because you heard it feels good is totally different though!!

 

I myself can't actually enjoy the physical feelings of sex at all (I have a pain desire 'down there') but I can still desire it for the intimacy on a theoretical level even if I never have it again, hence why I am not asexual  The innate desire is still there for me, and it's more than a 'want to try'. It's a genuine deep desire inside me to connect on a sexual level with someone else, even if I can't enjoy the physical sensations. Cupiosexual-identifying people  usually say they still have that 'deep desire' but for 'pleasure, enjoyment, and intimacy' - which is exactly why most non-asexual people desire sex!! haha.

 

But yeah as I said, you are talking about a 'want' because you heard it feels good, which is a different thing! many asexuals feel that way, especially when they're younger and still figuring things out  Also many aces have a libido, they just don't innately 'connect' that with an active desire to engage in sexual activity with other people  

 

[Guest]

Hey mods archive…

[AstralAstrid]

On 6/30/2020 at 2:13 PM, Celyn: The Lutening said:

Ceebs is right, demis aren't ace ace, we're just aspec. And the same goes for cupiosexuals.

Actually, because cupiosexual peeps don't experience sexual attraction, we are legitimately asexual. That's part of the identity.

[Philip027]

We didn't need this back again.  Why was it brought back again?

 

The whole "I love/want/need sex, I'm just not attracted to people" thing still makes about as much sense and conveys about as much understanding of attraction as it did back then, for the record.

[AstralAstrid]

14 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

We didn't need this back again.  Why was it brought back again?

 

The whole "I love/want/need sex, I'm just not attracted to people" thing still makes about as much sense and conveys about as much understanding of attraction as it did back then, for the record.

Actually, there are many kinds of attraction. Sexual, romantic, aesthetic, physical (separate from sexual), and emotional. So, you can be attracted in a way that isn't sexual attraction, absolutely. 

[Philip027]

I'm well aware of this; you are preaching to the choir.

 

I've been around here for quite some time.  Earlier in this thread, in fact, which is almost 3 years old, and you felt the need to necropost in.

[Olallieberry]

1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

The whole "I love/want/need sex, I'm just not attracted to people" thing still makes about as much sense and conveys about as much understanding of attraction as it did back then

To you.

[Philip027]

To many people here actually; you may not have been around here long enough to notice, but this very subject caused a lot of discord here back in the day.  The only reason it died down to some extent was because of the mods here cracking down on "defdebs".