Firefly8 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 I've heard a few times otherwise very sexual straight people say, "I've been feeling more asexual lately" or "I think I'm becoming asexual" or "yeah, I went through that phase a while back." Do cishet people seriously think this way about other orientations, like, "I've been feeling more trans lately" or "I think I'm becoming bisexual" or "yeah, I went through that gay phase a while back." Am I wrong for thinking this sounds bad/wrong? What do you think is going on when people say these things? Link to post Share on other sites
JustSomeAce Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 I've heard this a lot around the internet lately and I don't think it's okay, because that surely changes perception of us asexuals in the wrong ways... 🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
Faleeria Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 12 minutes ago, Firefly8 said: I've heard a few times otherwise very sexual straight people say, "I've been feeling more asexual lately" or "I think I'm becoming asexual" or "yeah, I went through that phase a while back." Do cishet people seriously think this way about other orientations, like, "I've been feeling more trans lately" or "I think I'm becoming bisexual" or "yeah, I went through that gay phase a while back." Am I wrong for thinking this sounds bad/wrong? What do you think is going on when people say these things? I agree with you. It is kind of insulting to asexuals to treat it like a "phase". I've seen that many parents tell their kids this label is something they will grow out of again and honestly, I'm not a fan of that. I would guess some people would claim stuff like this because they probably don't have a precise understanding of what asexuality means. I feel like unless you actively dive deeper into this topic, you will mostly think of the prejudices that are spread within society regarding asexuals. Like "You all hate sex!" or "Asexuals don't love others!". So when people only "know" statements like these about asexuality, I'm not surprised that they pass it off as a phase and say such things. Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 36 minutes ago, Firefly8 said: I've heard a few times otherwise very sexual straight people say, "I've been feeling more asexual lately" or "I think I'm becoming asexual" or "yeah, I went through that phase a while back." Do cishet people seriously think this way about other orientations, like, "I've been feeling more trans lately" or "I think I'm becoming bisexual" or "yeah, I went through that gay phase a while back." Am I wrong for thinking this sounds bad/wrong? What do you think is going on when people say these things? I mean I hear straight people say "Oh this is my girl crush Like I feel a little bisexual" This happens a lot with anything that's out of the ordinary and people use it the wrong way. It's not super bothersome to me but I do feel that they need to know that you aren't "a little bit" of something that is the important identity of people. I hear this too a lot with "I'm a little OCD" or "lol it's like my own little microtrauma" or " I think this is like a little abusive" Many people think orientations and disorders are either phases or just little habits. Link to post Share on other sites
Madelise Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 3 minutes ago, GingerRose said: "lol it's like my own little microtrauma" People say that?! Really?! If I heard someone say that in real life (I mean, even if I saw that online), I'd be so upset! *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Ace_SouthAfrica_87 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Firefly8 said: I've heard a few times otherwise very sexual straight people say, "I've been feeling more asexual lately" or "I think I'm becoming asexual" or "yeah, I went through that phase a while back." Do cishet people seriously think this way about other orientations, like, "I've been feeling more trans lately" or "I think I'm becoming bisexual" or "yeah, I went through that gay phase a while back." Am I wrong for thinking this sounds bad/wrong? What do you think is going on when people say these things? One can never be too sure. I wouldn't judge them or anyone else. Perhaps they don't understand what asexuality is? Perhaps they might be genuinely confused about their orientation. From what you wrote I can not tell. As I will need to see their body language while they make such remarks. They might be joking around or they might genuinely feel that way, who are we to judge. Out of all the orientations I feel Asexual people for most part are very non-judgmental. I don't personally think it is wrong or bad. Some people on here are very uncertain of who they are and still figuring it out. Others know exactly that they are 100% ace, many are in the grey-ace bracket, while we do have a few heterosexual people on here too. People of all races, genders (trans included). Some believe orientation is 100% fixed and you are born a certain way, while others feel it is more fluid. I for one think orientation can be fluid and also that situations in life might have influenced they way one perceives their orientation, but this is not really the popular thought on this forum, but then again, I for one have my own mind and people are different and unique in their thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 I doubt it's commonplace, but yes, I can see people questioning their orientation from time to time. Particularly if they've just Googled "I don't want to have sex" Asexual will come up (😋) along with all the usual physical, mental, psychological reasons, and people may come to an inaccurate assessment of themselves. Reference other orientations, again, people may find something attractive about someone of a gender they don't identify as being attracted to and say that they're going through a "phase" Link to post Share on other sites
JustSomeAce Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 15 hours ago, GingerRose said: Many people think orientations and disorders are either phases or just little habits. Yeah, or maybe they see it as some kind of lifestyle-choice people just randomly make someday. @Ace_SouthAfrica_87 To me it sounds kinda like they don't take sexual orientation seriously to be honest. Though as you said, we can't know how its actually meant. Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 4 hours ago, JustSomeAce said: lifestyle-choice Yes, I see this with depression like "just choose happiness". As well as with trans people, people think "Oh I don't believe in their life choices" Of body dysphoria isn't a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
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