Hmmmmmmmmmmmm Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Ok so I guess me and my bff were talking and not too long ago I told her I was Ace.... and I guess somehow our conversation geared towards cute guys/anime characters I found visually attractive and I heard her say the words “Oh so maybe you’re not asexual then “ I can’t quite describe the way she said it in text but in person I could hear it in the tone of her voice.... she said it in a way like she was almost relieved or something ...... does that make sense? And now I don’t really know how I feel about that Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 26 minutes ago, Hmmmmmmmmmmmm said: Ok so I guess me and my bff were talking and not too long ago I told her I was Ace.... and I guess somehow our conversation geared towards cute guys/anime characters I found visually attractive and I heard her say the words “Oh so maybe you’re not asexual then “ I can’t quite describe the way she said it in text but in person I could hear it in the tone of her voice.... she said it in a way like she was almost relieved or something ...... does that make sense? And now I don’t really know how I feel about that O. M. G. I've noticed this sentiment often, and it is very annoying... It feels genuinely queerphobic. Link to post Share on other sites
MineralTree Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Uh oh... That's aesthetic attraction though. Just appreciating how someone looks. I imagine your (presumably straight) friend can appreciate how people of their gender look. I haven't really had to deal with people so I don't really know how I could help you... Knowledge is pretty helpful, I was rather arophobic but I learned more about it and all is well now. Perhaps that would benefit your friend. Whelp I wish you luck and good relationships! Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Yeah, that's a problem with some people. You would need to address it right then and turn it around asking if they think other characters are attractive. Unless they're pan/bi, they'll likely find someone attractive but wouldn't want to screw. OR you'd need to follow it up with "Yeah, but I'd never have sex with them." Sorry your friend reacted badly. My actual suggestion for you would be to try and bring it up again and tell her how you felt. Link to post Share on other sites
Plushval Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 I can also just say, talk to your friend again. Bring up this exact conversation and try to describe it in another way as well, so she really understands. I have a feeling most acephobia happens without the people wanting to hurt you on purpose, they just don't realize how their words can easliy seem like erasure and not taking your sexuality seriously. You have to tell her how that makes you feel, maybe then she will realize. Link to post Share on other sites
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