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Things you said before you realised you were ace


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2 minutes ago, Dinosaurs27 said:

• My friends are the time had the biggest crush on Cole Sprouse & Harry Styles lol. I saw their attractiveness but I didn't feel anything towards them.

 

• I forced relationships 😬

 

• I felt like something was off about me but I didn’t know exactly why

*waves shyly* I had a crush on Cole Sprouse for a while before I recently realized I only thought he was cute for a limited time, younger me rarely liked boys back in elementary/junior high school.

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3 hours ago, fgdsayshi said:

*waves shyly* I had a crush on Cole Sprouse for a while before I recently realized I only thought he was cute for a limited time, younger me rarely liked boys back in elementary/junior high school.

I had a squish on someone in the 3-4 grade because I thought he looked like me😂🤦🏽‍♀️

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On 6/21/2020 at 1:47 AM, naakka said:

- I'm just currently focusing on my studies you know.

 

On 6/21/2020 at 1:47 AM, naakka said:

I'm not even looking for anyone you know.

as an aroace too, I felt these one so hard 

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

'What do you mean, I'll be lonely without a husband and kids? What are friends and dogs for then?'

 

'You can't have a crush on him, didn't you literally just meet?'

 

'My crush? I mean I really like the Cream Soda flavour'

 

'Just ask your crushes to be friends with you guys, you're making this out to be a big deal for no reason'

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"I'm just a picky, mature bisexual."

"I'm not ready for a relationship yet."

"I'll wait until high school to get a boy/girlfriend." (I am now in 11th grade and have never once bothered trying.)

"[insert person] is pretty and I think I want to be better friends with them. Therefore I must want to have sex with them too." (even though I pretty much forced every "sexual fantasy" and my mind is only capable of coming up with 2 vague, hazy situations that it switches back and forth from.)

"I'm more interested in general sexual activities rather than people." (That one should've been a telltale sign!)

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asexual-up-my-sleeve

Oh sweet Jesus, looking back over the years, I'm face palming for not questioning my sexuality too much. Can't think of much at the moment (and some of them are more like internal monologuing than spoken words, but whatever):

 

Eh, I only had one four month long crush when I was in eighth grade. 

 

Why is gossiping about who's with who so interesting??

 

I'd rather study than try to date high schooler boys.

 

What is so appealing about having a partner? Children?? I'd rather have pet birds.

 

"Thirsting???" What the heck is that?!

 

*upon learning that sexual attraction sometimes occurs to people their not aesthetically attracted to* Wait WHAT? That doesn't make any sense.

 

Yeah anyway, I think I should have at least questioned stuff a little sooner but whatever, I'm here now. Many people discover these things much later in life. I'm glad I have a touch of a head start. If I think of anything else, I'll try too add on lol. This chat is a fun way to reflect "out loud".

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On 6/17/2020 at 6:18 AM, Plushval said:

"I think couples should wait much longer before deciding to have sex" (not realizing there was an actual urge...)

Wait, it’s an urge? Never really got that, should have probably figured it out by now. 

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To others:

"I just haven't met the right person."

" I'm straight, I just don't LIKE men." 

"I only fall in love once every second leap year."

 

 

 

To myself: 

"Maybe I'm gay?"

"Maybe I should just try sex?"

"Of course I'm picky. Why aren't everyone else picky when it comes to partners?"

"I just don't get why people fall in love ALL the time?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To myself: (between the ages of 13-19)

I'm a late bloomer

I'll figure it out when I'm older

Why are girls so obsessed with guys? They're all idiots.

Maybe there is something wrong with me?

Maybe I'm just not attractive.

I just haven't met the right person

I guess if I have to pick something I'm Bi.

 

To Others: (between the ages of 13-19)

I'm just not interested in anyone right now

Why do you like him? Just because you think he's cute doesn't make him any less of an idiot.

Oh I'm just a misanthrope

I think I may be Bi

 

I am blessed to have dated a guy ( the only one ever mind you) that came from a strong christian background. I never had to deal with him trying anything. I really should have gotten a clue when when he said I love you to me, I responded with "okay".

I knew there was a reason I related to Wednesday Addams like I did

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On 9/24/2020 at 5:53 AM, Isa20 said:

Wait, it’s an urge? Never really got that, should have probably figured it out by now. 

Yeah, apparently *shrug*. I've heard it being called hunger or thirst, before 😅 So I guess that part missing is why I don't relate to the whole "Oh man I just really want to get laid right now" mood that my friends sometimes speak of 😅😅😅

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SupercalifragilisticNugget
On 9/23/2020 at 10:53 PM, Isa20 said:

Wait, it’s an urge? Never really got that, should have probably figured it out by now. 

 

On 9/25/2020 at 11:11 AM, Aloney said:

Yeah, apparently *shrug*. I've heard it being called hunger or thirst, before 😅 So I guess that part missing is why I don't relate to the whole "Oh man I just really want to get laid right now" mood that my friends sometimes speak of 😅😅😅

Hard to wrap your head around, right? I’ve had two occasions where I was talking to online friends and they actually had to get offline because they were feeling “horny” and I was like.... what. Is that.. something that happens... and you have to do something about it? 

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"Just living with a best friend or a few friends, and doing life with them instead of relationships and stuff would be ideal"..."no it wouldn't be a benefits thing, like cuddling and hand holding sure, maybe forehead kisses but no romo no sex" 

 

- I think I was describing a qpr before I knew what it was

 

(also I'm bi but didn't realise for a while cause I didn't know I was ace)

 

so so I think I like girls... but I don't want to have sex with girls... but I don't want to have sex with guys either?? But I know I like guys?? Eh I'll wait for the sexual attraction

-legit went over this in my head so many times!! Lol

 

wait?? You already had sex?!?! You've wanted to have sex?!?! We're not just too young??? 4 years ago!!!!! Wtf

 

I knew what porn was but somehow I still didn't make the connection that it actually turned people on. So like when a sex scene came on I'd just get really bored (watched GoT with my dad, never thought anything of it but later realized why people were always so awkward watching sex scenes w thier parents)

 

wait! You guys actually get turned on by naked bodies?!?!

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On 8/2/2020 at 11:42 AM, SunlitMoonlight said:

...oh gosh...

things i said before i knew i was ace

1. *watching tv show* *sex scene exists* Why do they even have to include this? They could literally just skip over it and show them waking up together and have me avoid being bored watching the heated make out and the flopping into bed and the moans.

3. Friend, who is dating the boy i crushed on for a long while but am over: Oh my gosh he's so hot. Me:*doesn't know why she's so worked up about it cause i never was in any way shape or form* Uh. Okay

 

8. Wait, so there are people who don't experience sexual attraction? Interesting. Wait. What is sexual attraction?

 

9. *couples are cuddling at a movie night* Me: *spends entire movie talking to sort-of-boyfriend about the plot and the science and the parallels and character developments and how it's all working together*

 

13. *finds romance without sex as the climax(no pun intended i swEAR I SWEAR MY VOCAB WONT FIND ANOTHER WORD) of the story line or even a plot point* This is the best book ever i can't believe it it's so amazing i want this book im going to cry im so happy they kissed and its all pg ahahahah

14. I think if i die without ever having sex i will be absolutely fine with that.

15. *calls boyfriend a masterpiece repeatedly and thinks of him as something so beautiful and lovely that i've just gotta draw him*

17. *watching show* THEY'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR THREE DAYS.

 

So yeah. 

that and so many more that i can't think of rn lol

 

For the first one, I swear I knew porn existed but watching sex scenes just felt so unnecessary and I never got why Lopez were turned on by them, they're just naked bodies?!?!

 

I swear I just call people pretty or beautiful or other stuff cause hot has all the sexual connotations attached and it makes me so uncomfortable saying that about people, I also just didn't get it

 

Fully did not think sexual attraction was a urge or something and was so confused on tv shows and stuff

 

I'm ok w cuddling but if I'm dating you I want to talk to you more than kiss you, can we please just happy rant to each other about movies or books etc 

 

This is legit pjo 

 

I have fully said out loud that dying without having sex sounds good to me before I knew what ace was, like my mom looked a bit confused but I just didn't get the hype

 

Exactly!! People are aesthetically pleasing like a sunset!!! Or a painting!!! I'm staring at you cause your beautiful and gorgeous or the lighting is just really good I swear it's not sexual!!

 

and yeah I really hate it when unnecessary romantic or sexual plots come in out of nowhere like I'm fine if you build them up or if they have chemistry but it throws me off so hard when all of a sudden ones declaring they likely the other (I'm still mad at detective Pikachu for this and I will stay mad)

 

anyway those were my reactions to the ones I related to the most!

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I don’t like boys.

I don’t like girls.

I don’t want to date.

”he was flirting with you.” Me: Oh. Really?

”do you have a boyfriend?” Me for the last decade: never

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On 9/27/2020 at 12:34 AM, lilypad16 said:

”he was flirting with you.” Me: Oh. Really?

Definitely feel this one -- I was so oblivious to that kind of attention for years, haha.

 

To be honest, I'm still not sure what constitutes the difference between flirting and just being unusually friendly.

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36 minutes ago, SocialMorays said:

Definitely feel this one -- I was so oblivious to that kind of attention for years, haha.

 

To be honest, I'm still not sure what constitutes the difference between flirting and just being unusually friendly.

Nor me. It's not helpful in mixed sex friendships. I must sometimes unintentionally cross the line in their eyes and I can never see when 'a friend' is flirty either.

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4 minutes ago, Acing It said:

Nor me. It's not helpful in mixed sex friendships. I must sometimes unintentionally cross the line in their eyes and I can never see when 'a friend' is flirty either.

For what it's worth, in my experience non-ace people get this wrong a lot too. My best friend of the last nine years is a straight dude, and when we first met my mother automatically assumed he had been flirting with me, based purely on the fact that he had been the one to approach me and initiate conversation.

 

Turns out he wasn't (which I had correctly assumed), and in those nine years we've experienced zero romantic tension whatsoever, despite many folks assuming we must be a couple upon meeting us. He's just a really friendly guy!

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• adriana •

this is less something i said and more  something i did. whenever i saw people in movies or tv shows, even real life, kissing i would gag at them. now i understand why

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On 9/29/2020 at 9:37 PM, SocialMorays said:

For what it's worth, in my experience non-ace people get this wrong a lot too. My best friend of the last nine years is a straight dude, and when we first met my mother automatically assumed he had been flirting with me, based purely on the fact that he had been the one to approach me and initiate conversation.

 

Turns out he wasn't (which I had correctly assumed), and in those nine years we've experienced zero romantic tension whatsoever, despite many folks assuming we must be a couple upon meeting us. He's just a really friendly guy!

This is my experience with one of my two best friends, who is a guy. For the first half a year when we first started hanging out, my family would pester me about "how it was going" with him 🙄 We also, to this day, get the "couple treatment" whenever we go anywhere public, just the two of us. And it was super annoying, when his first boyfriend kept being suspicious about us :( At least with family and friends they've now realized nothing is going to happen, since our friendship has been going on for around seven years, now. Jokes on everyone, we're like the worst match, in that aspect! He's a great dude, but seriously! I'm ace (and prob aro), he's very gay, and the one time we were dared to kiss in a party we clacked our teeth together accidentally before our lips could even touch, and collapsed on the floor in pain 😂 We laughed about how that experience told everyone around us just how incompatible we would be as a couple :'D 

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One of my friends: Isn't he just so hottttt???

 

Me: (pulling out a ruler and calculator) Hm, I suppose he has an aesthetically appealing arrangement of facial features, is that what you are referring to?

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- When my friend, who was waiting until marriage, asked me what sex was like after I got married and I responded, "Sex is neat" And then described how great it is cuddling someone until you fall asleep. 

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QuirkyMongoose555

"I don't think we should get romantic with people until we're finished with school"

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Someone once asked me what I do with my extra time since I'm not having sex or hooking up with people and I was like "Extra time? How do you get by without that time?!"

also "Why am I the only one who looks away when people kiss and leaves the room if it goes any further on TV/in movies?" until I realized why when I was 19

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just remembered another thing I said years ago. Back then I still assumed that being asexual meant being sex-averse in any case.

"Well I'm not asexual, cause saying I don't like sex would be a massive exaggeration of how I feel about it. I feel nothing about it. In fact I'm about as bothered about sex as I am about cleaning windows."

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When I first started thinking I was ace I was talking to my friends and me and one of them told the other two how shitty it is to have male brothers, and I told them that my brother always wanders around the house with boxers(where you can kinda see everything😥) and it's super cringey for me, and I actually said "it really makes me think I'm asexual haha" and umm.... yeah you can see where that went.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was absolutely convinced that I was a sociopath when I was 16. Like, I was CERTAIN that because I didn’t have crushes like my friends, I was unable to experience human emotion, and it was a matter of time before a switch flipped and I started skinning small animals. 
Also, my mom sat me down one day and straight up asked if I was gay (no pun intended). I told her that I wasn’t gay, but I also wasn’t straight, and I thought that I must just be broken. 

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lilsciencenerd

"I like this guy, but i can't see us dating. I really wish we were best friends."

 

"kissing doesn't look fun"

 

"how do they both know to start taking each other's clothes off at the same time?" at sex scenes in movies  

 

*if your beliefs compel you to wait until marriage* "just.....don't have sex....? it's not that hard" big apology to all my friends whom I was way too judgmental towards bc i didn't understand 

 

literally having to dissect a male donor's reproductive organs in my cadaver lab and thinking "I will never let this body part near me, so help me God" (and S T I L L not realizing)

 

 

 

 

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ
On 10/27/2020 at 7:16 PM, LivO said:

it was a matter of time before a switch flipped and I started skinning small animals

I had to read this twice to understand what you meant because I'm dumb, I was so scared for a second there

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31 minutes ago, sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ said:

I had to read this twice to understand what you meant because I'm dumb, I was so scared for a second there

OMG😂 yeah no, I’m definitely not a small animal skinner. I can’t even go fishing haha.

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